Welcome Perfect Soccer family to this week’s #AskASoccerPro blog! We had a fantastic show this week, with our own Earl Edwards Jr. joining in on the live!
For those of you who aren’t aware, Earl recently joined the Perfect Soccer team and has been one of my MSL mentees. Currently, Earl is a goalkeeper for D.C. United and brings his pro knowledge to Perfect Soccer, dropping those knowledge bombs on all our goalies out there!
If you missed the live, check out what we covered:
- Preseason 2019
- The N Word
- Earl Edwards Jr. Joins the Live!
- Earl’s First Interaction with Quincy
- Earl Self-Reflects
- The Importance of Building Relationships
- It Takes More Energy to be Selfish
- Are Goalkeepers Smarter than Field Players?
- How to Stop Being Selfish
- How the MSL Changed Earl’s Perspective
- Time Management
The first time Earl and I "met" was during the 2019 preseason with D.C. United.
So, imagine you’re me, Quincy, a white player...
Did I make you do a double take when I said, white player? If so, how come?
I am white.
lol. Anyway, that's not the point of today's newsletter, but yes I am also Nigerian and Native American.
And being biracial in America means you are viewed as non white, I understand that.
Though I do find it funny that depending on where I am, dictates what race/ethnicity people view me and treat me as. (But we'll save that for another article/time.)
So to re-establish, you're me, Quincy a black player, and ALL of these horrible homophobic and racial slurs are written out in all their glory, so to speak, but when it comes to this term, all that is written is ‘the N-word.’
As you may know, I have a bit of a twisted sense of humor, at least this is what I think most of my friends would say.
I find irony and sarcasm extremely funny and I have a dark sense of humor at most times.
I guess that's what's necessary to survive the MSL.
This is my first time and interaction with the team at all in general. Now, I don't mind kind of setting the tone early in terms of, ‘Hey, this is who I am.’
I'm always genuine and honest about who I am. Most times you're either going to understand it, or not; it is what it is.
Most players waste too much time on people who wish to provide them zero value, investing in people who take all they can from you and toss you to the side when they're done.
Unfortunately, most players have to learn this the hard way.
I think for the most part, approaching life and in this case sports this way establishes an environment where people make up their minds about me quickly, which is especially valuable in a professional sports environment.
They think I'm smart or clever, they understand that I'm being sarcastic or funny, or they think I'm a complete idiot.
Anyway, the guy who was presenting happened to be white.
As he read, he was visibly growing more and more nervous as he was reading through the words that you can't say.
Then he got to the N-word.
He quickly mumbled under his breath in the same way you do to yourself when you think someone is waving at you and realize it was meant for the person behind you,
‘annnddd can't say the N-word.’ Quickly moving on to the next point in the presentation.
I had raised my hand (and mind you, I would only recommend doing something like this if you understand why you're doing it and are willing to do the work to overcome what will result of it).
Most of the guys don't even know me at all, I haven't had a conversation with anyone really, as of at this point in time.
So, I had raised my hand and the guy had called on me and I'd looked up and I pointed to the board and said,
‘Hey, you know, I see, I understand all these words, but uh, but what's the N-word?’
Of course, the presenter got even more nervous. He was on the hot seat for a little bit, because of course, this is a topic most choose to ignore.
He responded, "What do you mean?"
I said, "The N-word. What's the N-word? Like I don't understand, what is it?"
He stood there shocked for a little bit, not knowing what to do.
I thought it was funny because I’m me. Of course, then l let him know, ‘Hey man, I'm just messing with you.’
I thought it was funny and I went about my business, you know, the rest of the preseason.
I did my work, got voted as the union rep for the team by the players within the week (maybe I'll share that story another time).
Worked with each and every guy in the locker room over the course of several months and the year (still working with a few to date) and didn't really think much of it other than just that moment.
I thought it was funny and moved on.
So I wouldn't change the fact that I made that joke, or more importantly, chose to be proud and confident in who I am.
I've learned so much from Earl this year and am grateful for our friendship.
This situation makes me think about how one moment or one impression can solidify someone’s perspective on you and cause them to write you off completely and choose not to help you.
As you know, Earl did start talking to me after this event, but it took some time.