Should Players Find A Mental Strength Coach? I #AskASoccerPro Show Ep 069
11-year MLS veteran Quincy Amarikwa returns for episode 69 of the #AskASoccerPro Show. This week Quincy takes on questions from the Perfect Soccer community and invites community members on the show to participate in his signature 'mental breakdown.'
00:00 – 04:19: Welcome To The #AskASoccerPro Show
04:20 – 06:07: @spiritualath1ete Joins The #AskASoccerPro Show
06:08 - 11:25: The Mentality You Need To Play In The USL?
11:26 – 19:34: How Worrying Over Time Can Affect Your Mental Health
19:38 – 21:54: What To Do When Your Opportunity Passes You By
21:54 – 25:22: How To Know When It’s Okay To Take A Break
25:22 – 30:26: Should You Use This Quarantine As A Break? @jproskills
30:29 – 33:58: Good In Training But Not Good In Games
34:00 – 38:39: How To Use Mistakes For Good
38:41 – 42:58: @brahim_keit Joins The #AskASoccerPro Show
42:59 – 50:01: What To Do If You’re Not Good Enough...
50:02 - 52:35: Are You Ready For The Opportunity To Prove Yourself?
52:36 – 59:45: Should Players Find A Mental Strength Coach?
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*Transcript is unedited and machine-generated. There will be errors. For further clarity please refer to the audio or video.
Quincy Amarikwa (00:12):
Zuri what's happening? 10 10 niece, Lou Tunis. Ryan mash. J B pro, general manager. Mind mash already in the live. Yo Jordan. Yo, what's happening Lil bow Haung what's happening in spiritual athlete? What's going on brother? I haven't seen you in a little while. K 23 Hampton. What's up? What's up? Earl Edwards jr joining in the live. Always answering your guys' questions below and engaging in the community. Span that heart button. Let me see the, I'm in your head emojis. For those of you who are joining in, as I say hello to everybody who is joining in on the live, Heather, what's happening? Sarah? What's going on? What's going on? CEPA joined in. I don't think I've seen you before, but welcome to the live. Happy to have you. Ricciardo what's happening?
Quincy Amarikwa (01:13):
Thirsty. let's see what we got here. [inaudible] Said Quincy, thanks for emailing the voice memo. I listened to it. I'm focusing on finals and stuff in college, but I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Of course brother. Happy to send that in. A what? Wait, who is that? Yeah. That [inaudible] was talking about. He had joined the financial literacy email newsletter that we've or that I've got and sent me a couple of questions from the initial goings through it. Joe Jackson, welcome. What's happening brother? Good to see you. What is up everybody? If I could get a, let me see a perfect soccer skills. Earl, if I can get a perfect soccer skills.com/create account written out there so I can pin that to the bottom. We will get right into it cause you guys should know what it is per Birmingham.
Quincy Amarikwa (02:07):
What's happening. It is episode 69, I believe we were episode 69. That'd be hashtag ask a soccer pro show with your host a lumber 1111 year MLS pro Quincy America. And you know what we do on this show? We talk about the MSL or the mental strength league. I mean your head emojis, you love what that is. For those of you who understand what the MSL is, you're down with the MSL mindset, dropping the mind and your head in a G's, spam that heart button, and also give a huge shout out to Víctor Bernárdez this my brother
Quincy Amarikwa (02:48):
And former teammate joining in on the live, dropping here below. Sam, what's up as well too? What's going on? Brother loves seeing you. I think last time we had connected, you were out in the San Jose area. Let's see. Today we're going to do a classic. I'm taking your guys call in. So as you guys are wanting, make sure you're dropping your questions below. Thanks everybody for joining. You know what it is? Let's get straight into it. And a Devon, Devin, don't be, you guys. Don't be calling in if you, if you're scared. You know what I mean? Sometimes you guys click that button just for fun and then you get called in on the spot and you run away. So let's see. We're waiting on ya. K 23 said, I'm having to use the MSL to get me through the end of the semester. Always leaning on that teamwork makes the dream work.
Quincy Amarikwa (03:44):
Tina, tape four says it's Lina blina, Leia from coach Ryans Oh nine thorns. I'm saying your name wrong. I believe I'm a phonetic reader, so I apologize. Yo, shout out Serena joined in late lane. Leymah I'm not sure. Spiritual athletes said he's calling in. Let's see. Let's see, let's see. Go live. Let's see what it is. Brother John Hollinger. What's happening? Dropping them in your head. Emojis have you see YouTube as well brother.
Yely Kantabadouno (04:20):
What's going on? Q?
Quincy Amarikwa (04:21):
What's up brother? How you feeling?
Yely Kantabadouno (04:23):
Feeling good man. I'm here with Andres Alfaro.
Quincy Amarikwa (04:27):
Andres, what's up bro? Alright, for the, for the audience, say your name your age and where you're calling from.
Yely Kantabadouno (04:35):
Um so name, age. Okay. So Yely Kantabadouno I go by spiritual athlete, 18 years old. I'm calling from the Bay area in California, San Jose.
Quincy Amarikwa (04:45):
San Jose and okay, so also for tour tutor to help tutor out. What is your at handle my handle Instagram. What's your Instagram?
Yely Kantabadouno (04:56):
Instagram at spiritual athlete. So sensor traffic and then a T. H. Y. E. T. E.
Quincy Amarikwa (05:05):
Got you. All right brother. So what do you, what do you got for me? What's your question and how can I, how can I help?
Yely Kantabadouno (05:11):
I mean we have two questions. First one is what are you going to hop on her podcast, man.
Quincy Amarikwa (05:18):
Okay, you guys have a podcast now?
Yely Kantabadouno (05:21):
Yeah, like we're interviewing every player from the, from the pyramid one plate. Gotcha. What's the name of your, what's the name of your podcast? It's called interviewing the pyramid. It's just like, it's like a series type a situation and we're just missing an MLS. Scott. That's it. You're the man.
Quincy Amarikwa (05:39):
So, right. Well you guys got me in. So then your first question is when are you getting me on the podcast? So that'll send us, I don't know if you have or not yet. Send your interview requests, email@example.com and, and I'll make sure I let Katie know to help me get that on the schedule as soon as possible. So we'll do like a zoom call and we could do a one on one interview for you guys, a podcast. Awesome. Cool. All right.
Quincy Amarikwa (06:08):
And then what was your, what's your second question?
Yely Kantabadouno (06:10):
Even though it's all you bro, you're a shoe. I mean, how do you, how do you cope with your mental game right now around these hard times?
Quincy Amarikwa (06:24):
Okay. Well let's make it specific to what it is that you feel like you're running into. Right? So I know what I do and I know how I'm adjusting to different things, but that comes with experience. Right? So what, what are you, what are you feeling is your finding to be most difficult during these times?
Yely Kantabadouno (06:42):
Honestly it's just, I'm aging, I'm aging and I haven't played my first USL league two game. And I was kinda like waiting for that, you know, I was speeding.
Quincy Amarikwa (06:55):
Okay. So you said you're 18 now, right? Yeah. Okay. Well, you've already waited 18 years and haven't played a game. So what's, what's what's another 18 months?
Yely Kantabadouno (07:08):
You're right. I don't know. It's just getting to me right now. It's getting to the next level, trying to get to the next level. Trying to get one more, one more step higher to the pros.
Quincy Amarikwa (07:19):
Okay. But were you at the level you're at now a year ago?
Yely Kantabadouno (07:25):
Quincy Amarikwa (07:27):
Would if you're talking to yourself a year ago, would you have been happy with where you were at right now?
Yely Kantabadouno (07:33):
Yeah, definitely. Okay. So what's, what changed? Just I just want to play my first pro game and Tali changes. I think it's a big deal.
Quincy Amarikwa (07:46):
Ah, there you go. England. What's going on? Welcome brother E Bram. What's happening? Mentality change. All right. Why'd you, why'd you mentality change? Perfect. Soccer skills.com Quincy.
Yely Kantabadouno (08:05):
Okay. Okay. Yeah. Mentality. Yeah, definitely. Mentality chains. I in the past few years, I just want you to be,
Andres Alfaro (08:13):
Oh no, it's just been going up every year. Just like UHG spend more motivated and just focus to like keep training very consistently with effective drills.
Yely Kantabadouno (08:25):
Yeah. And I would also add on to that, like my, I have a YouTube channel, go check it out. Spiritual athlete. But basically just a path to pro and you know, I got to show my fans that I could make a pro, so,
Quincy Amarikwa (08:39):
Okay. Okay. Let's, let's we're going to chop you down a couple steps there. Okay. That's good. What for you, what do you, what do you, what do you need to show your fans that you can go pro for?
Yely Kantabadouno (08:49):
Oh, no, I don't need to sh I don't need to prove anybody to anybody. I just know.
Quincy Amarikwa (08:54):
And then why are you saying it? Why are you saying it.
Yely Kantabadouno (08:59):
Keeps on my neck? I don't know. I just, you know, I just want it to come off.
Quincy Amarikwa (09:06):
If you don't know why you acting like you do.
Yely Kantabadouno (09:11):
Maybe I do now.
Quincy Amarikwa (09:12):
Okay, so then why are you lying to me and telling me you don't know?
Yely Kantabadouno (09:17):
Sure. I don't, I honestly don't know. I just, I just want to play in my first professional game.
Quincy Amarikwa (09:27):
Do you think you're the only person who wants to do that?
Yely Kantabadouno (09:29):
Oh no, no. I'm definitely not selfish like that. Like I know that the whole world soccer world is pot, so I'm not,
Quincy Amarikwa (09:37):
You're not selfish?
Yely Kantabadouno (09:40):
Quincy Amarikwa (09:41):
You're okay. So then why do you deserve to play the game if you're not selfish?
Yely Kantabadouno (09:50):
Because you put in the most work I put in work.
Quincy Amarikwa (09:54):
You think you're the only person who puts in work?
Yely Kantabadouno (09:57):
I put in a lot of work. I don't know. I don't, I don't look on the other side, you know, I just focus on me.
Quincy Amarikwa (10:04):
Then why are you concerned with not having a your first game yet? If that's true.
Yely Kantabadouno (10:11):
Wait, say that one more time.
Quincy Amarikwa (10:13):
Why are you so bummed and not focused on your playing your first game? If that's true.
Yely Kantabadouno (10:20):
Um I haven't played in awhile. That's, that's why.
Quincy Amarikwa (10:27):
Okay. But you've never played in a professional game before, so how's that? Any different than what you've been doing?
Yely Kantabadouno (10:36):
Well, mental strength questions here. Testing your mental, really testing your mental strength. Come on though. Claiming to be part of the league. I'm tired of mental strength league on the field. Maybe that.
Quincy Amarikwa (10:54):
Uh okay. So you think the mental strength league only happens on the field?
Yely Kantabadouno (10:59):
Oh no, it happens off the field,
Quincy Amarikwa (11:00):
But, okay, so we're off the field.
Yely Kantabadouno (11:02):
So what do you, what do you mean?
Yely Kantabadouno (11:06):
I don't know. Cute. I don't know. What kind of questions you're asking me.
Andres Alfaro (11:09):
You saying like you haven't played a professional game. Like if you were so confident in your ability, then like then why are you wearing bro? If you're putting in the work, you're confident in your ability. You shouldn't be worried about this quarantine that you're going to eventually get it.
Yely Kantabadouno (11:22):
I'm not that worried, but like I do not worry.
Quincy Amarikwa (11:27):
Did he take one penny a day? Doubled every day for 30 days or you take $50,000 check today.
Yely Kantabadouno (11:38):
It double doubles continuously forever.
Quincy Amarikwa (11:41):
So let's say I'm going to give, I give you two options. K 23 you know what it is and everybody, you haven't remembered this one. Okay, Justin. Woo. So I'm giving you guys an option. I'm going to write you a check for $50,000 cash right now in your hand today or sounds like a trick. I'm going to give you one penny today. One 1 cents. I'll give you 2 cents tomorrow. Okay, 4 cents on day three 8 cents 16 cents 32 64 a dollar a. What is that? Dollar 28 is that right? Yeah, Dell 28 so I'm on day eight. I'll give you a dollar 28 I'll keep doing that until I get to day 30 okay, so 22 more days. So you 50,000 cash right now or a penny, which you choose petty for 30 days. You guys got 10 seconds to give me an answer. So.
Yely Kantabadouno (12:45):
I think that was a knowledge that sounds good to me. $50,000 over only 30 days doubling only 30 days.
Andres Alfaro (12:56):
I mean it sounds like you're going to get less. Like 30 days isn't going to be enough to like, okay,
Quincy Amarikwa (13:01):
There you go. So okay, let's say, let's say this is your only chance to be prepared when your opportunity comes. This is your opportunity. I'm offering you the chance to $50,000 cash right now or a penny every day. Okay? So now the next thing I say like, all right, I'll give you 50 cents a day. I'll give you $50,000 a day. You're going to give me the contract for the one penny every day for 30 days because someone else was going to offer you the same thing, right? So I'm buying that from you. Okay? You guys follow me now you should know and you probably already gathered that this is a trick question. Yeah, yeah. Cause I'm telling you, I'm telling you right now, the penny a day is more than $50,000 at the end of the month, it's more than 50 that's why you're now 10 seconds to make a decision.
Quincy Amarikwa (13:47):
Okay? Yeah. So this is just like on the field. You might, you might not have much, you don't get 10 seconds to make a decision on the field. Right? So I gave you, okay, so I'll give you 10 seconds to really think about it and try to come up with a decision. You decided on a $50,000 cause that's what you can see right now. Yeah. Yeah. I'm telling you it's more than $50,000 so unless I'm lying, right? Which could be true. It could be lying, can be Cabot, could be. But if it's more than $50,000 how much more than 50,000 do you believe it is?
Yely Kantabadouno (14:29):
It really got me thinking I'm going to go with, he's the math guy here. Precap everything. Not enough.
Quincy Amarikwa (14:42):
And I'm going to, I'm going to tie it back. I'm going to tie back to the whole point that I'm going to make here with you in a minute. But I'm walking you and everybody else who's listening to this as well through through the kind of the same thought process. So ten five seconds and just if you think it's more, if it's more, how much more do you think it is?
Yely Kantabadouno (14:58):
We'll go with 10,000 more.
Quincy Amarikwa (15:02):
Okay, so 60 60,000 alright, so it's well over $2 million. I think it's almost four. It's like three 3.8 I need to get the numbers specifically, but I know it's over $2 million. Wow. And when, when you guys are off the live, go on your calculator and type in 0.01 and then times two, then times two and times two and watch it.
Quincy Amarikwa (15:24):
I want you to watch it and you'll see it grow. Okay? It's called exponential growth. And most people, if you start with something so small, like a penny and it, and it compounds over time, by day 30, you have over $2 million, over $3 million. Most people can't see that and they can't think their way to exponential growth. But when you're saying like, I'm not that worried, it's just a penny of worry, it turns into $2 million worth of worry a month from now or six months from now or a year from now. Okay. So, so that's my point. And just cause you can't see it right now, doesn't mean it doesn't exist in your future. Oh yeah. Fate. Okay. So, so if, if you can at least understand in the short term the power of that exponential thinking and the work to your friend's point, if you're doing the work and you're, you're doing enough work and you know you're doing all the work you can and you're focused on learning and growing and your patient, like you say you are, and you don't care about what other people think or what they have to say or your, what your followers may or may or not think about you in terms of your short term short in the short term, you not being at that level.
Quincy Amarikwa (16:44):
If that's all true, then that worry won't weigh you down and it won't deter you from reaching your goals. But if you let the little worry about what everyone's been following me and they're expecting me to already be at the pro level and I'm not there yet, let me cut a corner here. Let me, let me go a little bit faster here. Let's you get to say, you understand me? Yeah. That's where you let all the other opinions that, that aren't within your own mind change and alter your behavior, which slowly erodes your habits. And maybe you're in a good spot with good habits right now. But that little worry in that little thing and cause you're comparing, you're looking for other things to compare yourself to, but you don't want competition. So the only competition should be who you are today. And when you look back tomorrow, you say, did I do, did I do enough today to beat who I was yesterday?
Quincy Amarikwa (17:50):
Cause if, if you're doing all the work that you say you are, you're separating yourself from your competition. So why would you want to compare yourself and be worried and now go, Oh well I can rest cause I know I'm ahead of these guys next to me. You don't know what they're doing at home. You don't know. You don't know if the guy next to you is tired because he did a full workout before he came and trained against you on the field. And that's why you beat him today and you feel good. You feel good about yourself. He's like, man, I'm killing it. I kill these guys and I don't need to do extra work cause I already got it like that. Do you understand that? Yeah. Okay. So my point from all of my point from all of this, right, is consistency.
Quincy Amarikwa (18:31):
If you know you're doing the things that you know you need to to play pro one day or get to a professional level, I can understand your eagerness and willingness and wanting to play in your first game. I'm not saying that you should be excited to play in your first game or, or wanting to or even disappointed that this opportunity is not currently here. Yeah. But I look at it as an advantage now. I have more time to set myself even farther ahead of my competition because they're all taking a break right now. All of them are taking a break like mentality that says people are taking us. That's it. A vacation. Yeah. And I don't, I don't mind that. I don't mind. You guys want to go on vacation right now.
Quincy Amarikwa (19:24):
Yely Kantabadouno (19:25):
We should. We probably, we shouldn't worry about it. Like, yeah, people are taking it as a vacation, but like I shouldn't be like, Oh yeah, like, Oh, everybody's taking a vacation. I'm going to get ahead of them. Just worry about yourself.
Quincy Amarikwa (19:38):
Yeah. You go, Oh, that's nice. Everyone checking the vacation. That's cool. That's cool. Yeah. I'll focus on good man. Unlucky. John Hollinger, I think he's in line with all too. He, he had an opportunity. He went over to Atlantic city. He got set up in the hotel. He's about to go and boom. Okay. They're gone. You've got to go back home. What are you going to do? Right. The MSL mentality is the adapter diamond reality. It's the, I've worked my butt off. I've done all the right things. I've, I've networked, I've, I've gone above and beyond. Everyone around me. I know I'm doing more work than the people around me and I'm, and I'm, I'm going to be ready if and when my opportunity comes, but if my opportunity doesn't come and it passes me by or it gets canceled, I reset. It's going to be another, there's going to be another and that for you, like you said, his faith.
Quincy Amarikwa (20:37):
Yup. Yup. So you have faith in your process. You have faith in, in what it is that you're doing. It doesn't mean it's going to work out. It doesn't mean it's going to happen the way you think it is. But you believe in what it is that you're doing and you have conviction and these are the times where your conviction is tested and then you get to, you get to find out if what you say is what you mean. Because when times are good, everyone can say they're working hard. Everyone can say that they're doing the right things. Everyone can say that they're focused on the goal and they're doing okay. I hear everybody, I hear thousands of kids who reach out and tell me that they're going to make it pro and they're going to be the best player in the world. So every single, so every single, every single player is going to make it pro and every single player is going to be the best in the world. Can't be possible. Can't. That's impossible. That's impossible. So that's the MSL mentality. That's what we're talking about here. That's what we, we discuss and go through and hopefully what you're at least able to take away from what we're discussing here is you've, you gotta to have, in my opinion, to have to have a chance to get to a high level to make your way up. You're setting yourself up for success.
Quincy Amarikwa (21:54):
If you're able to self assess when you're full of crap and you're asking yourself, how can what I'm saying right now me be just saying what I want to hear so I can be okay with not doing more. Definitely. Got it. Got it.
Andres Alfaro (22:16):
You gotta be able to criticize yourself in your worst moments. That's how you're able to pick yourself back up.
Quincy Amarikwa (22:22):
But you also need to know when to give yourself credit for the work that you're doing. So vacation isn't bad. I'm not saying everybody who's on vacation right now is failing or doing the wrong thing, right? Like, I've seen this as a time to reflect and realize that Hey, it's not always all all about working and all about focused and lasered. You have to unplug and what do you call it? Self care and take a break,
Quincy Amarikwa (22:53):
Quincy Amarikwa (22:58):
You need to understand when, when not to take a break and when taking a break is okay. And I think that comes with experience. So before you have enough experience, lean on the side of your, you're too young to need a break right now it makes sense and just get enough experience to go, okay, I understand why breaks are important and how to take a break without breaking my habits. That's the restaurant to think about. Okay, you're, you're, you're wanting to build really great habits and really good habits, but you're not just building great habits so that you can't enjoy anything else about life or the game,
Speaker 2 (23:38):
But you don't want to allow yourself to allow enjoyment to create really bad habits for you. So you continue to enjoy the game in the future. And John saying longterm versus short term, that is correct. K, 23 said knowledge. What up. Hey, I'm, I'd love and seeing everybody here. Spam at heart button. If you guys are liking this deep dive, this MSL mental breakdown, well athlete on this episode of the ASCA sock pro show. This was this is a good one. I want to give some other people an opportunity to jump in here as well to you. Did you guys have any other questions or specific with that? Before we let some other people join in here? Oh, you're cutting out. I'm not hearing you now. I think he might. No, I don't. This is, thanks so much. Yeah, thanks for, Hey, keep, keep doing the work. I know. I know we're gonna I think we're finalizing the onboarding process for our intern program. It's taken us a little bit longer than we were anticipating, but hopefully we'll have that here soon and we'll get you guys get you guys onboarded. Yeah, I think you're starting to get a little bit, yeah, it's bad.
Yely Kantabadouno (24:55):
Quincy Amarikwa (24:55):
Lagging. Yeah. Okay. I think is lagging stuff there, but I'm loving that everyone's spending that heartburn. If you like that mental breakdown, a shout out spiritual athlete for joining in and sharing a little bit of where he's at in the process. Love seeing that. Let's see what we've got here. G pro skills is calling in. So let's see what we've got as well to you. What'd you guys take away from, from that? What are your thoughts? What do you think in from, from the last one and let's see what we got here.
Quincy Amarikwa (25:23):
Oh my brother. What's that? How are you doing? Do you want to let us know your name, your age, and where you're calling in from?
Joseph Shaffer (25:32):
Joseph Shaffer 14 and from Centerville, Indiana. You're from where?
Quincy Amarikwa (25:37):
Centerville. Indiana, Indiana. Okay. Is your Instagram handle? My what? Your Instagram handle.
Quincy Amarikwa (25:45):
So your, your, your name at what?
Joseph Shaffer (25:49):
Uh Jay Perez skills at G skills.
Quincy Amarikwa (25:51):
Okay, dope. So what's going on brother? How can I help? What's your question?
Joseph Shaffer (25:56):
I'm just trying to see like how I can like say motivated motivation. Yeah, I don't know what I mean. Okay.
Quincy Amarikwa (26:08):
So you're, you're finding it a little bit difficult with the, with the quarantine and having to stay at home and not do kind of what your normal routine and stuff is. Yeah. Okay. What have you, what have you been doing to try to deal with it?
Joseph Shaffer (26:27):
Um it's kind of like on like my strength. Maybe kick my, I don't know, kind of take a break from soccer, but I don't know, do something that would benefit me.
Quincy Amarikwa (26:41):
Gotcha. Okay. So my first question is, you see that link we got on the screen right there right now. Perfect. Soccer skills.com/create account.
Joseph Shaffer (26:49):
Quincy Amarikwa (26:50):
Have you already created yourself a perfect soccer team membership?
Joseph Shaffer (26:53):
Quincy Amarikwa (26:54):
Okay. So in our back office, what have you gone through so far? What have you, what have you, what have you learned or read or gone through so far in the training center?
Joseph Shaffer (27:04):
Um I haven't really, but I haven't really looked yet. I just created an account, but.
Quincy Amarikwa (27:09):
Got you. Okay. So let's, we're going to drill down into that completely. So you took the first step of taking it to create the account, but then you didn't spend any time going in and doing any research to see what law aligns with what you be interested in learning. Right? Right. Okay. So a lack of motivation and confidence. Right now I would prescribe, right, if I'm saying I'm your soccer doctor is that you read the book, the perfect soccer player blueprint.
Quincy Amarikwa (27:37):
Cause in that we break down how to develop the mentality and how to how to create some to create some how, I was trying to think of how I'd probably describe it. We, we've laid out some exercises and some drills, mental skills, some things that you can write down that will help you in developing your confidence and finding motivation. Right? So I think a big thing that's important is creating, creating processes for motivation and confidence that isn't reliant upon external factors. As you guys know, we spent a lot of time on personal development, self reflection, the three S's of self awareness, right? So I believe that that would be the first thing that you'd want to do. Cause I think that'll give you a couple of, some ideas on how, on how to figure out what it is that you feel you're needing.
Quincy Amarikwa (28:34):
Maybe you need a break cause everyone's different. You might need a break from soccer, you know, but just saying, okay, well how long of a break do I need and what's something I could do instead do I need to be having more fun? Do I need to make it less competitive? Do I need to make it more competitive? Maybe I'm not having fun because I'm not feeling challenged. So everyone is different and that's why I think it's really important that one I think the book is a great resource to first start with. And then second from there would then be going and listening to previous episodes of the show where I talk about the three S's of self awareness. So I'm not, I'm not sure what episode number it is, but I'll, we'll, we'll also get him back into the training center.
Quincy Amarikwa (29:15):
Episode on self honesty, self initiative and self accountability. Those are three full episodes where we're jumping into that. And one final thing would be the, the three S's of self-awareness talk I did for bill Hamid's youth camp, we recorded that and that should be in the, in the training center as well too. So I know I gave you a couple of things, but I also wanted to give you a couple options so that you can find the thing that the most sense for you and resonates with you. Cause I think, I think that'll be very helpful. Okay. Gotcha. Did you have any other questions before we get in here?
Joseph Shaffer (29:51):
Nodding. That's it. Okay.
Quincy Amarikwa (29:52):
Awesome. Amen. I think, thank you for joining, joining in on the live before you take off, how long have you been following the accounts and and, and why did you follow?
Joseph Shaffer (30:05):
Probably a couple of months and I don't know, I can't remember where I saw that, but I just kind of saw it and I think I saw you alive or something. You weren't alive or someone. So I just started watching. I've been watching ever since.
Quincy Amarikwa (30:18):
Gotcha man. Well, Hey, thank you very much for the support. I'm, I'm happy to have you as a follower and thanks for calling them with your question.
Joseph Shaffer (30:25):
Quincy Amarikwa (30:26):
Joseph Shaffer (30:26):
Quincy Amarikwa (30:29):
All right. That's a good one. I'm loving that. Let's see what we got here. Everyone, if you're loving that spam, that heart button dropping in what? You guys are taken away, what you're learning here. And let's see my lit, John King Z, Z M a. L. I N S K Y seven said bring back Quincy time. We've got to get that going, especially when stuff gets going here soon. Hello.
John King (31:00):
Quincy Amarikwa (31:01):
How you doing brother? You want to let me know your name, your age and where are you calling from?
John King (31:05):
My name is John King and I'm calling from Nigeria.
Quincy Amarikwa (31:12):
Okay. 15 John King from Nigeria. What's going on brother?
John King (31:16):
Okay, so I, I'm in trains. Am I putting like a portable agree in between, but when it comes to my situations, I'm really not good as I am in training. I think I read in the what the program is. Can you hear me?
Quincy Amarikwa (31:34):
I can kind of hear you. So you're saying you're very good at training but not in the game and you don't know what the problem is. Yeah, exactly. Okay, so why? Okay, so then my first question to you would be why do you believe you're good at training?
John King (31:52):
Even from my performances, I'm actually really good in it. I score a little goes [inaudible]. I just feel that prevail when he comes to the matches is actually very different because I don't see myself doing the same things I do in training.
Quincy Amarikwa (32:10):
Okay. So now my question for you is why is it not the same in training or in the game? Why do you think it's not the same in the game?
John King (32:18):
I actually think I'm a little bit more tense in the game. Dan, in training, you understand that with Russian.
Quincy Amarikwa (32:27):
So you're more free and training than you are in the game. Yeah. Okay. So now I want you to ask yourself, why are you more tense in the game and not in training?
John King (32:37):
I am proved that I, because any mistake counts and stuff like that, I can't afford to make a mistake. So I'm always cautious and stuff.
Quincy Amarikwa (32:47):
Okay. Why do you believe you can't afford to make a mistake?
John King (32:52):
I mean, I already know why you so you know, they would actually put the blame on me because, and just regular stuff like that, I'll be the one at fault and I really don't want to lose the game. So I try to avoid making mistakes.
Quincy Amarikwa (33:07):
Okay. Do you think you're ever going to play the perfect game?
John King (33:14):
I actually hope towards it is whenever we have a game, I truly feel they should be my game they should be making, but I keep getting the same results.
Quincy Amarikwa (33:23):
Got you. It, how many perfect games do you think you could play?
John King (33:31):
I've never really thought about that though. I just want to make every game perfect.
Quincy Amarikwa (33:39):
I know. That's, I know that's what you want to do. I'm asking you. Okay. How many times could you do it?
John King (33:47):
That's a very tricky one. I said, I've never thought about that. But if I just wanted to keep playing every game just at that peak, how many times
Quincy Amarikwa (34:00):
I understand and okay, well we talk a lot. Here is the MSL, right? The mental strength lead. So you play the game in your mind and then you play. Then it's a physical manifestation on the field, right? What we see on the field is what we see in our mind. You don't see any negative association making mistakes and training. And when you get in the game, your mind changes. You think, Oh, I can't make a mistake. If I do make a mistake, it's going to be bad. And if I make a mistake, I'm going to get blamed for the mistake and everyone's going to kill me for it, then we're going to lose the game. Oh no. And then you say, why does this keep happening to me?
John King (34:42):
Quincy Amarikwa (34:44):
It's cause you're scared to make a mistake and you're scared to make a mistake because you want to play perfect. But you even said it yourself. You don't know how to play perfect game every game.
John King (34:57):
Quincy Amarikwa (34:57):
So you're never going to be able to do that. So your mind, your mind is focused on something you're never going to be able to do. So you're creating a prison,
John King (35:10):
Quincy Amarikwa (35:12):
And a prison for yourself on the field, which means your experience is always the same and it's always negative and it's bad and you don't like it and then eventually you'll quit.
John King (35:26):
Never really thought about it that week. I think I'm getting where you're calling me from.
Quincy Amarikwa (35:31):
That was a brother of that tuning in, tuning into the MSL way, bro.
John King (35:35):
Yeah, definitely. Got it.
Quincy Amarikwa (35:38):
So I'm making mistakes is proud of the part of the process. You're going to make mistakes if you think you're not going to make mistakes. That's a mistake. So you're already making one. Okay. Okay. The goal is to learn from your mistakes as quickly as possible. That's the goal. But it's not to never make a mistake.
John King (36:03):
Quincy Amarikwa (36:05):
Alright. You got it?
John King (36:08):
Yeah, I'm getting, I'm getting okay. Yeah.
Quincy Amarikwa (36:11):
So try that first,
Quincy Amarikwa (36:14):
John King (36:15):
Quincy Amarikwa (36:21):
This is good because you make me think of new ways where you could, we could train this. Okay. So most people punish themselves for making mistakes. I want, I want you to reward yourself for making mistakes.
John King (36:36):
Quincy Amarikwa (36:37):
John King (36:38):
Quincy Amarikwa (36:39):
Yeah. So every time you make a mistake in the game, I want you to go. Yes.
John King (36:46):
Quincy Amarikwa (36:49):
Got it. Oh wow. Wow. Okay. Yeah. That's what you do.
Quincy Amarikwa (37:01):
Another, yeah, that's another one. Do you mean other ones? People, people are bringing when people are bringing negativity to you. It's more, I love it. I feed off of it. The MSL mentality takes negativity. It recycles it to propel the sport.
John King (37:21):
John King (37:23):
Yeah. Yeah. I get it. I get it.
Quincy Amarikwa (37:25):
Okay. Like we ride in that way. Read the MSL wave, get graphics and liking it.
John King (37:34):
Is it, I think we just said no, we actually don't. I'll give you a feedback. I'll give you a feedback.
Quincy Amarikwa (37:41):
Okay. Okay. I love that man. Let me see what we got here. Oh, I'm trying to say, here we go. I forgot to download it. I forgot to download the image. Sorry. Twitter. Cause if I was on my phone I would, I would put it up on the screen right now. So everybody could see it. Actually I want to download it right now, but Hey, I appreciate the question and you call it in cause that's a really good one and I think, I think that'll be very helpful to a lot of people. Everyone, if you kind of liked that you enjoyed that question and that breakdown, spam, that heart button, dropping the, I'm in your head emojis. And let me know what you guys have been been taken away and learn it. But amen. I really liked that. I liked that question. Yeah, I'd like for you to, you know, train, try that and then come back hopefully in a couple of weeks or months here and let me know how it's helped and any feedback you got from me, bro.
John King (38:36):
No problem. No problem.
Quincy Amarikwa (38:37):
All right, have a good one.
John King (38:39):
Quincy Amarikwa (38:41):
Bye. Steve Gomez, what's up England? 2130. What's happening? I know it's laid out there in England, but always showing that love Bringham Birmingham. Oh, at least brim ham. You right. I said I got you. So let's see what we got here.
Quincy Amarikwa (39:07):
Let me brim
Quincy Amarikwa (39:11):
Here. We go Ryan Ryan had said, changing your perspective on something that may be holding you back. Let's see what we got here.
Brahim Keit (39:27):
Quincy Amarikwa (39:28):
Yo, what's going on brother?
Brahim Keit (39:29):
You're good bro. You good?
Quincy Amarikwa (39:31):
Welcome back. For the audience so they know your name, your age and where you're calling from or,
Brahim Keit (39:38):
Yo, my name is Brahim and I'm, I'm 24. I'm leaving now in Monkton Canada and I come from Ghana in West Africa. There you go.
Quincy Amarikwa (39:48):
Shout out West Africa and what's your app handle? So we got it.
Brahim Keit (39:54):
Um because remember last time we thought, right?
Quincy Amarikwa (39:58):
Yeah, no, I remember I'm saying total or helped me chop down the clips and Sarah helps me to make sure when we chop the clips we we tag you. So say what you're at, handle it your name so that they know bream underscore cakes. Got it. What's going on man? Yeah, I remember. And so we left off last, so you want to give me an update? So what's, what's been going on since we connected last?
Brahim Keit (40:25):
It's still the same question because last time you hadn't had enough time, you know, and Instagram. Yeah, because we said we were going to talk about the same question as I asked you last time. Like how did you feel when you were about to sign your first professional contract? Because I asked you like you are in an Academy, you know of hundred people and if like you are 19 and you are about hundred players, you know, but nobody knows who's going to be a professional because everyone can not be a professional. Right? Yep. And you told me that first of all is we'll use your time. You know, you use your time in the game because even if the coach give you just three minutes to play, so you only have 3 million to prove that you can do it, you can do your job.
Brahim Keit (41:19):
Because my question was, you know, like how, like how are you going to do like in your mind, like make sure, yes I can. Even if there is thousand people, you know, we want to play. Like I know that it's not easy. I've lot of friends in the academia, you know, seeing there were 15 and now that 24 but until now they didn't sign it. Professional contracts and then they have to, you know, give up and try to study or do something else because you cannot continue, you know, you at 1920 2122. Oh but if you are now 24, 25, you start thinking, can I play football? Because everyone knows you need to play like at least 20, you know, at least 2021 and you know, because it's all about time. We don't understand my, my accent because my first language is French, so, you know.
Quincy Amarikwa (42:28):
No, that's okay. I'm fine. I'm following you. And so then Mike, okay, so before I answer and share, I understand the context, but I want to know what is your, what is the goal, what would you want to happen before we answered the question? Right. So your goal determines what you do, right. If I want to, if I want to get big, big arms, I don't do squats.
Brahim Keit (42:56):
Yeah, that's right.
Quincy Amarikwa (42:58):
Okay. So you're saying you're 24 and you want to play pro and you've been in the Academy and it's not working out. What do you do?
Brahim Keit (43:11):
The question is not for me, first of all, no, the question is not for me. Like I'm just asking that, you know, for people who still willing, like you want to play football, I don't want to play football like [inaudible] like now I'm working, you know, so the question is not for me but for friends, you know, because I have a lot of friends and I know that maybe they are looking this lab at the moment. So it's a general question, you know, inspire younger, premier, you know, we're still dreaming you not to become a bigger player. So what energy they should have, you know.
Quincy Amarikwa (43:51):
Got you. Okay. So I and I and I and I hear you and that's why I'm saying, okay, I want to know if we're talking general or we're talking to an individual person who has a specific goal in mind. So we're going to go, we're going to go general with the, with the answer here. And just like you would expressed, maybe there's a hundred kids in your Academy and only one's going to get a professional contract,
Quincy Amarikwa (44:14):
Quincy Amarikwa (44:17):
You might have joined the Academy program at 15 and you've been playing for several years and you're 2122 2324 and you haven't signed a contract and now you're probably realizing, like you said, you have to quit and find something else. The reason why I spent so much time sharing this information, sharing this way of thinking and encouraging people to think differently is that I'm saying you have enough time in your free time to prepare for your post career. So your career is going to end one day. It might end at 16 when you get cut from the Academy and they don't sign you and it might end at 40 after you've played 20 years plus professional. Okay. And it could and anywhere in between because you get injured because no one likes you because you didn't learn enough because they're screwing you over. It could be your fault, it could be their fault. I'm not going. And now we're talking about in general and why I'm talking to everybody. They say it doesn't matter. The reason why it didn't work out for you or it's not working out for you,
Quincy Amarikwa (45:24):
What you do have is time that when you aren't there training playing, you could be doing more studying. So you can get into finance like you're talking about getting your coaching license, starting your own business, building your own marketing company, investing in real estate. Yeah. The problem I see is all those hundred kids, all 100 of them think they're going to sign a pro contract when they're 1516 or 17 and then they don't do anything other than think that it's going to just fall into their lap. And that's the mistake I believe that they're making. Okay. Now if you're a player who made that mistake cause there's many, there's a lot. Okay? And especially with like a soccer shutting down across the world, many organizations are going to reassess and they're going to sign less players now or they're going to sign players for less money because they don't want to fall into the same mistake of overpaying like they did before this time. Okay. Okay, cool. So your versatility will become more valuable. The value you can provide the team beyond just the skill you have, right? Maybe your communication, your your dedication, your mindset, your mentality, your approach. Every day those things are going to become more valuable, I believe, right? For organizations. But
Quincy Amarikwa (46:51):
Having said all that, you could check every single box you need to, but you might just not be good enough as a player. And that's a reality that a lot of players have to come to terms with. So again, I'm speaking in general. If you realize and understand that you aren't good enough to play at the professional level for whatever reason, either you're not technically good enough, tactically good enough, physically strong enough or fast enough, you don't have enough connections so you don't understand the politics. Okay. That doesn't mean that you can't still provide value to the soccer world and get a position that allows you to be closer to the game. Maybe you're getting into coaching, maybe you're getting into the front office, the technical staff, those other things. So I think for me, what I, I speak at speak to that group in terms of saying, Hey, look, be be self aware. Be aware of what you're good at. Be aware of what you're bad at, focus on your strengths. That's most important. But in the free time that you have, because you have free time, and if you say you don't, then you need to be spending time researching how to create more time for yourself. And that's okay. Make yourself an asset that a team has no choice but to keep around.
Quincy Amarikwa (48:10):
So you can hopefully outlast the other 99 guys who are going to maybe not do that extra that you do. Right? right. Maybe you're part of the Academy. There's a hundred of you. You only, you know, only one of you is probably gonna sign a contract. Everyone's out right now. Well, maybe you become a virtual assistant for one of the assistant coaches on the, on the, in the organization where you're helping them do research and scouting and you're creating Excel reports and sheets for them,
Quincy Amarikwa (48:44):
Right? You're providing them value, you're helping, not only are you doing that, you're probably gaining experience. Other players aren't getting, you're building connection with a, with a coach who's in the industry who can maybe show you the ropes and show you the way. And if there comes to a time in the future where there's a tough decision to be made and it's between you and the guy next to you, you utilizing and spending that time, maybe the reason why they choose you over the other person. So that's the world. That's the world that it is. Right. And yeah.
Quincy Amarikwa (49:17):
I'd much rather everyone go into it with their eyes open so they can, they can make the best decision for themselves in this moment rather than go in, like most of these guys you're talking about, do you thinking that they're going to sign and then they're 23, 24 and now they go, I don't have any options. I don't know what to do. So that's what I think. That's why I told you last time when you asked me the question, I said, well, we don't have enough time for that one. I can't, we gotta get to that would in the future. But is that, does that help more helpful for what it was that you were wanting to, you were asking. Yeah.
Brahim Keit (49:50):
Yeah. I think I understand the question and I hope they don't in recent too, but I know that football world is not easy. Yeah.
New Speaker (50:02):
And like how do you feel like, do you think you're going to play again for how many years or were about to retire?
Quincy Amarikwa (50:11):
Oh, that's a good question, man. I don't know. So if I told you I knew, I don't know. I believe that I am, I'm actually getting into the prime of my career in terms of development as a player. It took me longer to get here cause I had to learn different than the guys around me, right? What I learned and now it just comes down to am I going to be offered an opportunity to, to prove, prove myself and me being ready once that opportunity comes. So I know I will be and I know I'll be ready. Now it comes down to opportunity. And I think that's the thing that I want most players and people who aspire to be in this sport to understand, like you can do everything right, you can understand everything, you can play very well, you can be fit, you can check all those boxes.
Quincy Amarikwa (51:05):
But at the end of the day, you're still at the mercy of an organization to offer you an opportunity. Right? And they may sign you to a contract, but that doesn't mean they're going to play. You know what I'm saying? So, right. Yeah. Yeah. So it's a process. It takes time. You gotta be patient, you gotta put in work, you gotta pay your dues, and sometimes you get the short end of the stick. But that's the game, man. That's the game. And I'm not mad at it, you know what I mean? Like I embrace it, I enjoy it. And I'm ready to, you already know, man, this is what I say. I'm ready to go. I'm ready to go. Either way, I'm ready to go on the field and I'm ready to retire, but stay ready so I don't have to get ready.
Quincy Amarikwa (51:53):
I can do either. You know what I'm saying? Like and I think that's what makes it very valuable. Cause that means I have leverage. I don't, I don't need it. I want it and I want it because I done the work to earn the opportunities that are, I believe will be coming my way. Right. I don't deserve them. I believe you. I believe you earned them and you earn them in the sweat equity that you put in overtime. The consistency that you put in overtime. And I think I have faith that that will, that will come to fruition. Right. But I can't sit here and tell you that I know for a fact that it will not yet. Not yet.
Brahim Keit (52:36):
The one last question. What do you use Sujet like two youngest player? It's about like, you know, an agent, you know, every player needs to have an agent, right? We will, you know, take care of like his transfer when like he's about to move from [inaudible] to another. So do you, so do you suggest like for young to youngest player that they should go to find a mental strength coach? You know, like we will give them advice and we'll always be here for them, you know, to push them, like, like to believe in their dream, you know, before they, before they become approved. You know, because there is, as my friends have a lot of, they're 19, 20, they're still in the academia, but they don't have no one, you know, they don't have a mentor. They don't have like an agent, you know, on tin the player signed his first contract. Then we're going to see lots of people want to approach them coming out to be right there. And so I just want them to know like what's your advice for youngest player? Like because I think that they should at least 1516 they, they should go to see someone like a mental coach, you know, or say, Oh I want you to become like my mentor. I want you to become my Asian or something like that before they become approved. Cause I think that's, that's really important.
Quincy Amarikwa (54:10):
And that's a great question. And I think one more minutes here in the live, I think I got enough time to answer this question, but I just wanted to give you a heads up on that. Yes. But what's most important is, okay, I did not have a soccer mentor, right. I didn't have a, I didn't have someone who understood everything and was teaching me the ways and led me by the hand and was helping me with this. A lot of these lessons and things I learned, I have learned the hard way by making a lot of mistakes, right. Making a lot of mistakes. Now I share the, I share these with you, so hopefully those who listen don't have to make the same mistakes I did to learn the lesson. I don't, I don't believe in unnecessary suffering, you know? Just because it was hard for me. I don't believe it means it has to be hard for you unless it being hard is required for you to get to the next level. Yeah,
Quincy Amarikwa (55:00):
Quincy Amarikwa (55:03):
Not everyone has a mentor and you're not going to, yeah. Not everyone's going to have one and a lot of people have mentors who are not helping them. They're helping themselves and they don't know that either. I believe it is the responsibility of the player. If this is your business, if this is your dream, if this is your goal, you're responsible for where you get. Even if you're 14 or 15 years old, if you're 15 years old and you say you want to be a pro, then you need to learn what it means to be a pro. Because you say you want to be a pro, which means you need to understand how to negotiate your own contract, if that's what you need to do, how to negotiate your transfer, if that's what you need to do, how to, how to reach out to potential mentors and, and utilize their experience and their wisdom and, and create a, create a plan for yourself.
Quincy Amarikwa (55:48):
So I think the thing that I can do is I can provide this information. I can provide these lessons. I can provide these tools or courses like perfect soccer skills.com/create account, right? I'll even add me, I'll be adding in their contract negotiation. So you can do that on your own and how to vet if someone's doing something in your own interest or how to vet if an agent is, is helping you or how to do it. More importantly, I like to teach you how to do it for yourself. Once you know how to do it for yourself, then you're able to decide if this guy can represent you well or this person can be a mental strength coach for you. Right? I believe it's the fiduciary responsibility, which just means it is the person's responsibility to do what's in your best interests and I think your best interest is to learn how to do it yourself so that you aren't dependent on anybody if you don't need, if you don't choose to be.
Quincy Amarikwa (56:38):
So just like, like I said, if I want to retire or if I want to play, I believe I've done enough work to be able to do either I stay ready so I don't have to get ready. I'm prepared for retirement. I'm prepared for another 10 years of my career. Okay. I'm prepared. I'm prepared for both since I'm prepared for both. When I go into negotiate, I have leverage because now you're saying, do you want me to be a part of your organization? You believe I to provide value? Yes. Okay, well then these are the terms under which I am willing to negotiate or sign a contract with the organization. But if you don't have those skills and you don't understand that process and you don't know the business and you don't understand these things that I'm sharing with you and give him free access to so you can learn on your own. When your opportunity comes,
Quincy Amarikwa (57:27):
Chances are you're not going to be ready and you're not gonna be prepared. You're not going to capitalize on it. And for the most part, a lot of people don't realize that they've had plenty of opportunities. They've had plenty of chances, but they, they didn't even know when it was right in front of their face. Yeah. And that was their problem. It's not that they didn't have a chance, it's that their chance came and they didn't know it was there when I was staring them right in the face. So the way you avoid that, or the best way you can try to avoid that is to take responsibility for your learning, learn how to learn, do your own research take responsibility for your learning process and and when things don't go well, figure out why and update your system so that you can do better. Again the next time. Yeah, that's what, that's what I would that's what I'd explained. I got a minute and a half year. These were, those were awesome questions that you, that you, that you sent my way. I really appreciate that. I'm glad that you joined back here. We had a chance to go through that. Hopefully we'll see here soon in the future. I'm gonna make sure I'm gonna exit out cause we got a minute left before this, before it kicks me off. [inaudible]
Speaker 4 (58:42):
Brahim Keit (58:45):
Yeah. And you guys, you should have a mental coach and you realize your dream man.
Quincy Amarikwa (58:55):
Hey, I love that brother. I appreciate it. I appreciate the endorsement man. And thanks again for coming on. Yeah, no problem. All right, I've got a 30 seconds left before Instagram kicks me off. Heather said, Oh my gosh, it's seven o'clock already. Exactly. Where it was. A classic episode of deep MSL knowledge. Everybody, thank you very much for joining in. Drop the mom and your head emoji spam that heart button. For those of you who wants to take a screenshot or share on your story what you learned from today's episode, what you took away video picture, write it up, type it up, let me know, tag me in my personal account and perfect soccer account. We'll reshare you guys. Check out the account. We've got testimonials and stuff as, as I said, 10 seconds left everybody. Thank you very much. I'll see everybody next week. I'm in your head.