What To Do When Your Family Doesn't Support You I #AskASoccerPro Show Ep 077


11-year MLS veteran Quincy Amarikwa welcomes you to episode 77 of the #AskASoccerPro Show! This week Quincy covers how to deal with others putting you down, what it takes to become indispensable to coaches, and more!

Check out what Quincy covers:

00:00 – 04:02: Welcome To Ep 77 of the #AskASoccerPro Show!

04:03 – 10:07: What’s New With The Black Players Coalition? @bpcmls

10:08 -  31:44: What To Do When Your Family Doesn’t Support You @griezi_21

10:08 – 14:48: What Procrastination Sounds Like @griezi_21

14:49 - 20:45: How To Take Responsibility For What’s Holding You Back @griezi_21

20:46 – 31:44: What To Do When Your Family Doesn’t Support You @griezi_21

27:01 – 30:38: How To Overcome Bullying And Take Control Of Your Soccer Training @griezi_21

31:45 – 35:25: How Is That Push Up Challenge Going?

35:36 – 45:16: Playing To Your Strengths As A Smaller Player @jjusef10

35:26 – 42:19:  How To Score Goals @jjusef10

42:20 – 45:16: What To Do When You’re Not A Strong Soccer Player @jjusef10

45:20 – 46:30: Will Quincy Talk To Players In The Orlando ‘Bubble’?

46:31 – 59:49: How To Get Noticed And Make A College Soccer Team @ben._.jammin

49:35 – 55:18: How To Become Indispensable To A Coach @ben._.jammin

55:15 – 59:55: Why You Should Focus On Being Reliable And Trustworthy @ben._.jammin

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*Transcript is unedited and machine-generated. There will be errors. For further clarity please refer to the audio or video. 

Quincy Amarikwa (00:00):

We're all here to ride the MSL wave. The Mental Strength League. I'd like to welcome you to another episode of the #AskASoccerPro Show.

Quincy Amarikwa (00:11):

Gabrielle, what's going on, everybody. Sorry for my delay. I'm just wrapped up the our Black Players Coalition call let me see if I've got my headphones here. Connor Johnson. What's going on. Welcome to chai tachy. Tachi I don't think I've seen you before. Welcome underscore. Casty welcome. Welcome IB underscore official one, two, three. Welcome mat with the engineer, head emojis. What's going on? What up? Everybody loving, loving it. Hebrew official Bernard is soccer Academy joined in. Welcome. Welcome you. If you guys can hear me. All right, give me, I'm going to give me some Jesus' hands. Give me some I'm in your head. Emojis. I'm spam that heart button. Let me know. Let me know Montreal impact means John an what's going on. What up? What up, what up? Let's see what we got here. You know, throw it off with a good one today.

Quincy Amarikwa (01:19):

Some solid memes, some solid means coming from the boy toad or Montreal impact dropping the brain. I'm in your head. Emoji, geo Jordan, yo whoops. Seeing everybody spam that hard button them love and that love and that you guys know what it is. I'm I'm looking forward to it. I'm looking forward to it right now. Cause T a I C H I three, one six, underscore 10 says watching from Japan right now. Who? Marvin? That. Oh man. Yo shout out Koska Kamora. I think he was the first Japanese player to play in the MLS fun facts. Yeah. And then Oh then COHI Oh, what was then the second Japanese player was also with the Colorado Rapids. I think his name was COHI if I remember correct, good times. He only spoke Japanese though. And you know how that goes?

Quincy Amarikwa (02:25):

When, when you meet someone and you guys don't know the language, the only things that they teach you is the bad word. So I can't repeat the words that they taught me in Japanese, but good times with [inaudible] you guys haven't, you guys don't know coast. Can't make sure you go follow Cookie's a good, deep, very good dude under appreciated that. Do you, that guy is a high level human being, not only a high level human being, he's just, you know, do does 10 more times work than anyone around him, but gets 10 times less credit. And

Quincy Amarikwa (03:00):

You know what, with the MSL community, the Perfect Soccer community, we're here to elevate those

Quincy Amarikwa (03:06):

Who, who

Quincy Amarikwa (03:08):

Just haven't been fairly compensated and acknowledged for the work and the value they provide the system. Cause you guys know what it is here. We're here to over deliver value, having left every exchange, given more than we received and coast gay is definitely a player who fully embodies that. And I love that to you. I think he's, I think he's with the Nashville organization now as an assistant coach back with Gary Smith and Steve Guppy the old school Colorado 2010 Colorado championship coaching staff is back in Nashville. So they're lucky to have coast gate. They're lucky to have coast gate part of it, which is awesome. Jay pro skills. Welcome. Welcome, welcome.

Quincy Amarikwa (04:00):

What do we got here, Serena joined in cause you guys know I was running a little bit late today. I apologize for that. We just we're in the middle of our Black Players Coalition of MLS call and we, we meet weekly now. For those of you who have it, or weren't able to see the press release, make sure you head over to perfectsoccerskills.com/blackplayerscoalition, and you can see the initial press release. We were fortunate enough to be the, the black own news outlet that the players coalition wanted to share their news with the world on. So we meet weekly and we're tackling many issues especially, you know in the vein of systemic racism and discriminatory practices inside the MLS and outside. So I'm, I'm happy to be on the executive board for the organization and extremely happy to share share that with you. Insta gave him the thumbs up, Heather giving the thumbs up ice Prince, even the hello. But yeah guys, like I said, that's why we're running a little bit late today. I apologize, but I'm happy to be here for a nother episode of episode, 77 of the hashtag ask a soccer pro show ho

Quincy Amarikwa (05:23):

Where I like to welcome you

Quincy Amarikwa (05:26):

To being here with me, your host 11 year MLS pro, which will hopefully be 12 year MLS pro. Cause I'm currently in my free agency year. As of right now, Quincy and uh MLS pro though that is major league soccer MLS. Here, we talk about the guys, tell them what we do. What we talked about here. Can you drop, can you guys drop down in the, in the comment section in the chat below what we talk about here on this show every week, please,

Quincy Amarikwa (05:59):

Greg. He said I'm in your head. I mean you had, please let me know if Anna's saying what up, what up what up, what up someone dropped, dropped down. Thank you T dropping it in the comments section. My boy, Victor Bernard is joining in always showing love my former San Jose teammate and brother dropping in to say what up? Yes, that is correct. T we talk about the M S L or the mental strength where you are an active participant or you're steady getting played. You know what it is because we're out here talking about that. L T w M that long term winner's mindset. Ooh, yo, shout out Paul, shout out Paul perfect soccer. Audio engineer always come and correct helping us break down these episodes and get them uploaded to your favorite platform of choice. Head over to perfect cyber skills.com/radio.

Quincy Amarikwa (07:14):

Make sure you guys subscribe so you can always stay tuned in and plugged in to PS clips, which are the highlights best moments from the show. For those of you who are able to join in live and maybe get your specific questions answered. If you want to keep downloading that MSL knowledge, make sure you go and subscribe to, to our perfect soccer radio station. We get PS clips, you get the in depth with Rossi. You get the tactical Tuesday episodes. You get Quincy talks. We just recently launched. We've got the perfect soccer podcast. We've got, Oh, the Assa soccer pro show like guys, we're getting next level next level out here. And I don't want you to miss out on everything. Quincy rock, like the Millie rock. That's right. I like to rock you like to rock. Let's see. Let's see what you got in here.

Quincy Amarikwa (08:08):

First one of the day yesterday said, Hey, Quincy, what's going on?

Quincy Amarikwa (08:12):

Hello? Yo, what's going on, brother? Can you hear me? All right? We might have some technical difficulties. You gotta get, you gotta get to better get to better service, man. If anybody else has any questions, like I said, we were taking them in all commerce from the community. Asking your questions, any questions that you guys got for me here, but as I was saying on the hashtag athletes, soccer brochure, we break down the MSL or the mental strength league. It is a game where

Quincy Amarikwa (08:56):

You are an active participant or you're steady getting played. It's 4D chess out here, but the MSL mindset is the mindset you need to accomplish your goals. And here every week at 6:00 PM, 6:00 PM, PST 9:00 PM EST on the perfect soccer Instagram accounts. We break down the seven step AMARIKWA process, but you might be asking yourself, what's the AMARIKWA process. Let's see what is that? It's the seven step process and core values of perfect soccer and what we've used to build this community, build our brand. And more importantly has been the process that I've used to be able to have an over decades, long career Emilio what's going on. So the goal here has really been to break down this mindset. This mentality that's helped me play at the professional level for over a decade today into an easily understandable and appliable process that you can do on your own. And the first three steps of that process are the three S's of self awareness and the three S's of self awareness. If you are unfamiliar with that, and you don't know what that is, head over to perfectsoccerskills.com/sss, and watch that talk. So you can get down with that. Yo, what's going on, brother? Did you get, did we get the, the internet connection?

Giovanni Monteiro (10:11):

Yeah. Is that good?

Quincy Amarikwa (10:13):

Okay. Before we lose you, what is your name? How old are you? Where are you calling from?

Giovanni Monteiro (10:19):

My name is Giovanni Monteiro. I'm 16 years old about to turn 17, July 31st. I'm calling from Rhode Island,

Quincy Amarikwa (10:27):

Rhode Island. Okay. And can you say what your Instagram handle is? Can you spell it out for us? So we got it.

Giovanni Monteiro (10:31):

G R I E Z. I underscore 21.

Quincy Amarikwa (10:36):

Awesome brother, how can I help?

Giovanni Monteiro (10:41):

Alright, so Hm, where do I start? Okay. So for my, I'm not really like, so I started playing soccer like around three years ago. I love soccer all my life, but I recently started playing two years ago and I tried out for my soccer team, sixth grade. Didn't make it practice practice. Seventh grade made it eighth grade, made it ninth grade. My mom didn't let me join this year, made it to JV practice, practice it to first team in varsity. But that, the one thing is like my my mental core is just like, it's just very down. I just put myself down very much. Like some of my family members just put me down to like, for example, my dad, he's just like, Oh, why are you even drew soccer? You're not, you're not good enough stuff like that. And like, you know, I just, it just makes me, you know, lose hope, but I was just so for my I'm, like, how can I challenge that to become more mentally, mentally fit? You can just put that aside.

Quincy Amarikwa (12:01):

Got you. So my first question for you is have you watched the three S's of self-awareness a talk? I did that over a perfectsoccerskills.com/sss. Have you watched that yet?

Giovanni Monteiro (12:13):

No, not yet. The thing is, so I used to have another account where I used to follow you guys. I would just like when you and Ross used to do with the lives and everything. So my account got banned because I posted the video of Andre Gomez breaking his hand, and then I lost you guys. And then three weeks ago I found you guys again and I was so happy. Yeah. I try, I try to get the ebook and then I'm just like, yes, I'm going to get out. I'm going to get it. But then I'm just like, Oh wait, I still didn't get it.

Quincy Amarikwa (12:49):

Okay. So then let's, let's break this down. Cause I think a lot of players and a lot of, a lot of, yeah, a lot of players, a lot of people are at the same spot as you. Right. And the problem that you run into is you assume that you'll be you'll remember, and you assume that you'll do it next time. That's procrastination because you believe you have time. Right? Okay. So the first step is acknowledging. So this is the three S's of self awareness, right? You have to become aware of your, you have to become aware of your awareness, right. And you have to become aware of your bad habits. Yeah. There's a reason why you always forget. There's a reason you lost this. If this was very valuable to you and you cared about it, why would you lose it?

Giovanni Monteiro (13:32):

That's the thing, but

Quincy Amarikwa (13:35):

Okay. So, so hold on. Let's keep going with this. Okay. So I'm just saying no, that's okay. That's okay. So, so if, if that's true, if you cared about it enough, you would value it enough to make sure that you wrote it down. If that's what you needed to do, you you'd save it to your computer. You'd save, you'd bookmark it, right? There's your, you're not at a place or you weren't at a place yet where you were willing and able to recognize that you are getting in your own way, but you can, you're allowing other people to tell you who you are. You're allowing other people to tell you what you can accomplish or what you can accomplish. And when you believe them, and you believe that you do things that sabotage yourself. So you lose the things that are most valuable to you. And that's a cycle that many people fall into and they fall into that cycle because they're not acknowledging that they actually don't care about it, or they don't believe in it themselves. Right. You don't yet. Go ahead. Go ahead.

Giovanni Monteiro (14:49):

Oh, so like for today I went to practice. So for my, for my school, I don't, I don't think there's going to be a soccer season this year, but we don't know yet. So I, captain is doing captain practices. I have to work like, cause my dad's too lazy to bring me. So I have to wake up at five get ready at six 30. I have to walk all the way to Richie, which is like a three mile walk. Yeah. And then I have to go over there. That's how I sprained my hamstring today. So like constantly walking over there and walking over there, six miles back and forth, it made my leg weak, but the thing is right. So I'm, I'm fast in like, I just love defending. I play right back. Yeah, the problem with my team though is like, you know, I, I don't get I just got picked on maybe people don't respect to me and stuff like that. And so for my team, like when I'm like, when I'm trying to like, you know, have the passion to play with my teammates at practice, they're just like, Oh my God, Gio, Oh, chill. You're going too hard. There's no scouter. Like, they're just like calm down. And then when I played that calmness, like when, when they say go easy, I just, I just lose it. You know? Like I'm not the same anymore now I feel

Quincy Amarikwa (16:22):

Okay. So we'll break down a couple of different things, but why do you, why do you feel that you have to do what they say?

Giovanni Monteiro (16:32):

Because like some of them like for example, one of them is Alex. Carvallo like every time I'm like, I get the ball and he he's just like, Oh fuck you Gio. Oh, Oh. You're like, that just gets in my head and stuff like that. Someone just like get pissed at me because I'm taking the ball away in the, just like, Oh, take it easy, take it easy. Okay. I just had to get on the level.

Quincy Amarikwa (16:58):

Yeah. I got you. I got you. Okay. So let's back up here. Okay. Cause the way in which you've shared your story with me, you haven't told me a single thing that you're responsible for in your own process. It's because your dad doesn't help you and he doesn't want to take you it's because your players don't respect you and they don't believe in you you're injured because you have to walk certain way, three miles, one way and three miles back. Right. But what have you been? What have you jog three miles there every day and three miles back and you got yourself strong enough and fit and you looked at the three miles, you looked at the three miles jog.

Giovanni Monteiro (17:39):

Yeah. That's the, that's the thing I've I've been doing. So the thing is, whenever I go to the field, I still have more energy than everybody I'm getting more fit. Like I was gaining a little belly when like, cause I'm a kid brilliant. So I have that gene of like being fast. So I'm just more fast than everybody. Everybody's just like, yo, how do you have so much energy stuff like that. But you know, at the end of the day, you're just, okay,

Quincy Amarikwa (18:07):

I'm going to do, I'm going to do to you what they do to you. They're slowing you down. Right? Okay. If you know you're fast. You don't have to show everybody you're fast all the time. We need to be strategic. And if you're fast all the time, maybe you're making everybody else look bad because they're not as fast as you, but they can slow you down with their words because you're letting their words have power over you. Yeah. But you're not seeing how their words can be helping you because you're not viewing it in terms of anybody's helping you. You think everybody's out to get you. Everybody's attacking you. Everybody doesn't believe in you, but maybe they see that you don't believe in yourself.

Giovanni Monteiro (18:51):

Yeah. That's the thing.

Quincy Amarikwa (18:53):

Why would people, why would people believe you or believe? Why would people support? You respect you and B I'm not saying that people shouldn't, I'm saying some people, most people are thinking, why should I respect you? Support you. Be there with you. Believe in you. If you don't believe in yourself, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So the first is saying, okay, if you believe in yourself, say regardless if my dad takes me to training or not, he's actually helping me because he's making me get more fit before I get there. Yeah. And then when you're on the field and the guys were saying, yo chill, now you go like, Hmm. Why, why are they thinking to chill? They're trying to help me. Oh, okay. Oh, they're telling me to chill because they know that if I'm running too much, I'm gonna pull my hamstring and I might be too far ahead of the play or he's not as fast as me. So he can't think as fast as I can. So if you slow it down and learn, you learn to look at what they're saying has helped. You can then elevate yourself because you can make sure you're doing the work so that they can't say those things. And those things will be true.

Giovanni Monteiro (20:01):

Cause the thing is like my my team is like scared that I'm going to injure them. Or like, you know, you know how it is when you're defending, like my thing is, I like to play. I like to do practice as like, as I'm in it as if I'm in a game, like when we're just doing simple passes, I like to I like to do like things that like make me feel in a game. I look back to see if there's anybody.

Quincy Amarikwa (20:29):

So I got you. So why, why would you, why would you stop doing that?

Giovanni Monteiro (20:33):

I don't know.

Quincy Amarikwa (20:35):

Why do you feel that? Why do you feel bad about doing that?

Giovanni Monteiro (20:40):

I just get self conscious. Like even if like I'm on the field and like.

Quincy Amarikwa (20:46):

I know guessing I'm slowing you down again. You're getting too far ahead. You're getting too far ahead of yourself. You're not answering the question and that's why you're not figuring it out. You need to slow your mind down, slow yourself down and ask yourself, why am I self-conscious? Who am I? Who do I want to impress? Why do I want to impress them? I want to press to impress my dad. I want him to respect me. I want him to care. I want them to support me. I want to take me to training. He might not ever do that.

Giovanni Monteiro (21:16):


Quincy Amarikwa (21:18):

And you got to accept that

Quincy Amarikwa (21:21):

Because I know guys who they did all that because they wanted their dad's approval. Now, once they made it now, their dad's taking them. Now. Their dad cares. Now. They don't like it. Cause it feels fake. You weren't there helping me when that was no one around now you want me? Because I make money and I'm famous. So it doesn't necessarily mean that you want that. You understand me.

Giovanni Monteiro (21:40):

Yeah. Yeah.

Quincy Amarikwa (21:42):

Everyone wants to prove everyone wants approval.

Giovanni Monteiro (21:44):

That real thing is the thing is like Oh wait, hold up. So he's he he's, he also likes soccer and stuff like that. He's made his own team everything. But the thing is like, everybody says, your dad is a soccer coach. One whole, he trained you. Well, like the thing is like he's my uncle. He adopted me to come to America and stuff. Like, you know, he doesn't, he isn't. So that father love, you know what I mean? Like, yeah.

Quincy Amarikwa (22:18):


Giovanni Monteiro (22:18):

Because I'm not as scared and stuff like that. So like, so every time I'm like juggling the ball over there, like that a, we were outside, we were cleaning the house outside and then I'm just getting a little ball to juggle and he goes, Oh he goes, Oh stop trying. It only runs in the family. You're not don't, don't shy. You're not going to become good. And like this things that put me down. Okay. So let's take that. Okay.

Speaker 3 (22:56):

Tell that same story as if what he's saying is actually helping you. Why would he, why, why might he be saying that to you?

Giovanni Monteiro (23:04):

So I could train better? So I could train to prove him wrong.

Quincy Amarikwa (23:16):

So are you going to prove him wrong or no? Yeah. So every time he speaks to you that way, is he hurting you or is he helping you?

Giovanni Monteiro (23:25):

He's helping me. Okay.

Quincy Amarikwa (23:27):

Why do you see it? Like he's hurting you.

Giovanni Monteiro (23:31):

He's not anymore.

Quincy Amarikwa (23:33):

Yeah, that's right, bro.

Giovanni Monteiro (23:42):

Another thing is you, you know, every young player gets tunnel vision, right? Yes. Today. So we were doing a little scrimmage against the girls team. You should have seen the half of the team was just simping. It was so sad. So I was just like, I'm just like, okay. Gio, like at night, every night before I go to bed, I like to visualize like, how is the game going to be, even practice? How is practice going to be, what am I, what, what are the things that I did last time that I need to improve? Like when I get a first start, someone's pressuring me. Should I go to the left or right. Whenever like the one thing I told myself last night was don't look at the ball, look straight ahead at the field, does that, I went to score three goals.

Quincy Amarikwa (24:34):

There you go. So getting dialed in and getting focused when you're young, you're still, and I've talked about in previous episodes and guys on guys and girls on here have heard the different levels of, of, of narrowing in your focus, right? But experience is what teaches you going through difficult times is what you're able to utilize to improve. So the more difficult your situation is when you start the better off you are in the long run. If you eat your mind, right. And you do the work, right. So the more difficult it is in the beginning, if you figure it out and get it done correctly, the easier it becomes for you as you make your way up. Right? So you want to be grateful for the difficult moments in time and look at them as opportunities where people are helping you be stronger in the future. Right. So, okay. Yeah. I see where you're at in the process. I see, I see your passion and you really want to make it work. Right. But the focus is also understanding and seeing when your passion is preventing you from getting better.

Giovanni Monteiro (25:36):

So one thing, so yeah, I I've had so many opportunities, but like so many good opportunities, but you know, people just take it away. So for example, my my friend Christian CRD, so me and my other friends, Sebastian people though, we used to do indoor soccer. And then we had another kid named follow. So he did for the town team his dad has a team. He's just like, Hey, Oh, Giovanni. We really need a defender. Our coach said he might even pay for you in everything, which was around $300, everything. So, so I, me and my dad would go to a part time to help like that. My mom does, but we go help it. Yeah. So I was just like, I was just nervous. I'm just like, cause that's like, that's when I, like we talk now, I'm just like, Hey dad. My friend asked me if I could go join a team the coach will pay and you know, he says, and he goes never trust those. Oh, you might, you might break a you might break an ankle. You might you might break a bone. You don't know the insurance, it stuff like that. Then they just take it as a joke.

Quincy Amarikwa (27:01):

I understand. I understand. And like, I like, I, like I told you, like not every path is going to result in what you want. Right. But even path is a learning opportunity. So I think even with your thinking of how you're telling the story now, and this will be your homework here moving forward. Okay. Cause we want to make sure we get another people to have an opportunity to ask the question one, you need to go to perfect soccer skills.com/create account,

Giovanni Monteiro (27:29):

Create account.

Quincy Amarikwa (27:32):

Okay. Then now that you're in there, you need to read the perfect soccer player blueprint. Cause you've got access to that and what I'm going to do now. Cause I'm thinking about it. I'm going to add the three S's of self awareness, talk to the training center so that everybody can go there and watch it. Right? You need to watch and listen to that multiple times, take notes and figure out and decide what it is that you are not being honest with yourself about what you are not taking initiative on what you are not holding yourself accountable to. And then you write out your plan of what you will do. So you can visualize every day what you know, you need to do to stay on track, to reach your goals. Because you're not going to reach your goals in a year or two years or three, right.

Quincy Amarikwa (28:16):

Five, 10 years from now. That's what your focus is on. So when you're going through the difficult moments and times here you go up, well, this will make, this is why I'll get there, right? Yeah. Yeah. It's going to be hard, man. It's going to be, you're going to have worst days. You're going to have, you're going to get injuries. You know what I'm saying? You're going to have self doubt. That's all part of it. But you gotta look at every single one as an opportunity to get better. And if you, if you, if you, if you keep telling in your mind or telling other people, I can't do something because of this person and that person, you won't make it. It has to be, I'm going to do it. Even though he won't take me here, I'm going to do it even all. They don't believe in me.

Quincy Amarikwa (28:56):

What they're saying to me might be true right now. But it won't be true in two years because I'm going to do this plan to make sure that that's not true.

Giovanni Monteiro (29:04):

I'm going to make everything positive, everything.

Quincy Amarikwa (29:06):

Everything is in your control. If you're going to do the work to overcome it, he says, I'm not going to take you to practice or training. I'm not going to train you because you're not good enough. And it's not this, okay. I'm going to do enough work on my own at the house to get good enough. So that six months from now, when he says that I'm not good enough, it's not true. So now I'm looking at him in his face and he goes, Oh wow, you're better. Right. And if he doesn't, it still doesn't matter because you're going to do it anyway. You can obtain.

Giovanni Monteiro (29:36):

It benefits me.

Quincy Amarikwa (29:37):

Yeah. Yes. It only helps you, but it hurts you the moment you go, Oh, he's right. This, if it's all he's right. Awesome. Now I can go and add this to my list of things I need to do. I can improve my training. I can go through the be pro weekly training program that Ryan does every single week. Right? You guys got it. It's all there, but you have to do it just like you found us. You lost us. And now you found this again. Are you going to, are you going to look at the mistake that you made as a valuable experience and not lose this again? And this time actually do it or you're going to have to, are you going to have to learn the hard way and lose this again and not do it and then get to where you're at again?

Quincy Amarikwa (30:21):

That's your question, man. That's what you got to answer. So I'm going to wrap it up here so we can get everybody else. I appreciate you calling in, man.

Giovanni Monteiro (30:28):

Thank you.

Quincy Amarikwa (30:28):

Good. Yeah. Good luck. Keep working hard and hopefully we'll see you here in the next couple of months. Even us an update.

Giovanni Monteiro (30:36):

I will.

Quincy Amarikwa (30:37):

Awesome brother. Good luck.

Giovanni Monteiro (30:38):

Thank you so much.

Quincy Amarikwa (30:39):

Thank you, bye. No, no. That was an awesome one. I liked that we haven't had a classic mental breakdown session for in a while, but that was a good one. Everybody. What did you what'd you get from that, from that little mental breakdown. Do you guys do you guys have any similar experiences? How are things going on your side? Yeah. What do you, what'd you guys, what are you guys taking away from that? When are you seeing yourself kind of blaming others and not taking responsibility? Have you fallen into that trap yourself? What did you do to get yourself out of it? [inaudible]

Quincy Amarikwa (31:45):

Let's see what we got here. I see everybody's spamming the spam and that heart button. Okay. Ben Jammin Benjamin said, speaking of update, speaking of update, pushup challenge, part two, I still have yet to see anybody reach out to me and tell me that they've done the pushup challenge from back in the day. But Ben said I didn't complete the pushup challenge for the first half, but I'm coming back harder for the second half of the year. I'm loving that, you know, Ben, for those who don't know, drop, drop down in the comments, what the pushup challenge is. So those who are new can participate and potentially win themselves some free MSL merge, maybe like a perfect soccer match ball that you guys see up on the, on the screen there, the new match balls are speaking

Quincy Amarikwa (32:40):

Of which Sabrina dropped the link. Perfect soccer skills.com/start here, got that on the match ball. Let's see what we got questions below Rubin as college tryouts coming up in less than two months, a lot of heavy competition with foreigners, but I know I'm physically prepared. I can't see the whole thing. I know I'm physically prepared. And any mental advice though, you guys know I'm going to end up being a broken record in the end, because I'm gonna say the same thing. So the end of time, cause it's state truth is true, whether you believe it or not. And as I speak, truth is true, whether you believe it or not official, MLS memes has joined in on the live brother, Eugene to join in the life. You want to want to chop it up a little bit, get a little quick update as to what's going on in new side of the world, Daniel, please let me know or give us a call.

Quincy Amarikwa (33:42):

John Hollinger said I'm on, Oh, sorry. I don't want to jump off of topic. Cause Rubin had asked that question. Mental advice. And like I said, I'm saying the same things because it's true. That's true. Whether you believe it or not head over to perfect soccer skills.com/create account. If you haven't already create your accounts, right? Read the books, go through the training center, but more importantly, subscribe to the podcast. Perfect soccer skills.com/radio. We've got it in the training center. So you guys can subscribe on the audio platform of your choice, but you can listen to all the little clips, the mentality clips. So you just downloaded that MSL knowledge into your mind, expanding your mind, expanding your consciousness and just improving overall. Let's see what we got here. Let's see what we got. Let's see what we got.

Quincy Amarikwa (34:32):

John Hollinger said I'm on month for the pushup challenge. Two months to go for some Merck, loving that stay strong, brother, stay strong. Paul asked, can we get an MLS player in the bubble next week or the following week? You mean, you mean like down in Orlando or what do you mean specifically? Cause I don't know if I'm understanding completely Paul Tony dropped the MSL hashtag MSL mentality, fire emojis with the I'm in your head as we have a few more in. Okay. Yes. If Jusef let's see what we got here. You're also asking to join the live. So let's see. And Paul had said on the show and you're right, I'm going to start working on getting back to getting some pro players here on the show. I know things have been crazy with the quarantine, so we'll get that going. Yo, what's going on bro?

Jusef Chowdhury (35:31):

Hello, Quincy. My name is Jusef and my age is 19. I am from New York city. And before I start my question, I just want to say I never talked to a pro athlete. So this is a bit nervous situation for me.

Quincy Amarikwa (35:47):

All good, man. All good. Can you say your Instagram handle? So we've got it. Yeah.

Jusef Chowdhury (35:52):

Yeah. So it's J J U S E F 10. Jjusef10.

Quincy Amarikwa (35:59):

You got it, bro. Okay.

Jusef Chowdhury (36:01):

Yeah. So I'm a winger. So this is my first book. So I'm a winger and I'm usually not like the goalscorer type. I'm usually like, like ever since I started playing, I've been like a Joel, a guy and I would just more like, I would say number 10, but I don't play number 10. I would just like give people a system. But like, but as a wing guy, I know that you have to score or it's just like a useless being a winger. So I don't know how am I supposed to overcome that? Cause every time I do a drill for four scoring moguls, it's like, I think about it. But at the same time, it's like, when you do the drills, it's not as same as the game situation. So like if he fell us to go through cones and let's say do some shooting routes, it's not the same because like in game two Jewish and you probably, it's not like ideal.

Quincy Amarikwa (36:54):

Okay. So let me ask a couple of questions. What's the formation that you play in typically.

Jusef Chowdhury (36:59):

Four, three, three.

Quincy Amarikwa (37:01):

Okay. So you're a, you're a high winger striker

Jusef Chowdhury (37:06):


Quincy Amarikwa (37:07):

Right. Are you left foot or right foot.

Jusef Chowdhury (37:11):

Right foot.

Quincy Amarikwa (37:12):

Okay. Okay. So I hear what you're saying. You're having difficulty with mimicking, which is matched situations, but what yeah. What are you trying to accomplish? What's your, what's your ultimate goal? Like what are you able to do that you feel like you want to get better at?

Speaker 6 (37:29):

So I think I told you three weeks ago that I play for Jupiter team and [inaudible] and I went to the school 20 goals in order for me to like get some sort of definition either to a D two or possibly a D one. And my biggest problem is that I don't score much.

Quincy Amarikwa (37:45):

Okay. So then my question for you is why don't you believe you score

Jusef Chowdhury (37:49):

There's many reasons, but like the basic two reason is that the first to reason is that I probably take one to three seconds whether to pick which corner to shoot and another shot. Another reason is that I feel like every time I about to take the shot, it's like the goalkeeper already reads my mind, which is a bad thing. I know. But like, I don't know why I feel that, but

Quincy Amarikwa (38:17):

Okay. Okay. Because it's true. You're being super predictable, so, alright. So if it's taking you, if it's taking you two or three seconds to pick out your shot, don't you think the other person can that's plenty of time. Okay.

Jusef Chowdhury (38:30):

No, I'm not saying all the time, but like all the time

Quincy Amarikwa (38:34):

I'm telling you it's all the time.

Quincy Amarikwa (38:36):

I'll tell him I'm going to punch me in the face. I'm going to put you in the face. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Jusef Chowdhury (38:43):


Jusef Chowdhury (38:44):

Are you going, are you able to Dodge it or no? I'm gonna just take a,

Quincy Amarikwa (38:49):

Okay. So if that's how you're shooting, is this, am I, are you reading my mind? Do you know what I'm doing?

Jusef Chowdhury (38:59):

Oh yeah, yeah, she is. Yeah,

Quincy Amarikwa (39:04):

Right? Yeah. That's how you're shooting. That's how you're shooting and you're shooting because now I'm hearing like how you're doing drills. You're just going through the motions. You're not trying to, you're not trying to mimic game like situations. You're not, you're not making yourself have to take quick shots. Right? if you watch, if you watch highlights of Chris former Laskey scoring goals, right? His shot sequences super fast. A lot of his goals, aren't picking out the corner. He's not looking to score the beautiful side netting. He's looking to get a shot off quickly, which means the goalkeepers in the middle of his face to plant. And when he's in the middle of he's already shot. So now the number of goals you'll see going in first time is because the shot sequence is great. Another player you should, you should watch is Bradley Wright-Phillips very quick shot sequence as well, too. Right? So first I'd say you need to get out of the mindset that your shot needs to be perfect or look pretty. And I'm telling you, that's probably a problem you have because you think you're a number 10.

Jusef Chowdhury (40:15):


Quincy Amarikwa (40:16):

Yeah. Cause you're looking for the perfect most beautiful path. You don't want it to be ugly.

Jusef Chowdhury (40:20):


Quincy Amarikwa (40:21):

So we're talking about, yeah, no, you need to make it ugly. If anything you're doing is pretty and nice. That's the opposite of what you need to be doing. It should. We should. You should like, you should hate how it looks. Just based on how you look, how you view the game. I'm saying the best way to help you. This is, this would be different, but I'm making the advice specific to you and how you view the game and how you're going about it. If you're someone who looks at the game and everything needs to be pretty and you're being slow and predictable, that means you have in your mind what it's supposed to look like before you even go, which means everybody else can see what you're doing before it happens.

Quincy Amarikwa (41:02):

You gotta make the connection and being like, I'm okay with this hitting off the post, hitting off my face, hitting up the other person and then going in. Cause it counts goal. I'm here to score 20 goals. So I'm not sitting here to score 20 at the greatest goals of all time. Occasionally you get the opportunity to score a beautiful banger and everything will come together perfectly. And when those happen, you'll be on ESPN score and the chip, you know, the obvious means for the chip role, you got to do it when people are paying attention and watching. So you gotta make sure everything lines up, just like, Oh ESPN, Rooney's whipping in the ball. Let's go a little. Everyone's watching me out teeth. Let's score, go, go, Oh, have let go. Oh, Olympia, I'll go smoke. All the other ones. Come on, bro. You get what I'm saying?

Jusef Chowdhury (41:54):


Quincy Amarikwa (41:54):

There's different levels to the game. There's different ways in which you can survive. And I think too many players are too focused on being the main person. It's pretty looks good on Instagram, all that kind of stuff. Not get good. Get okay with it being ugly and effective, be ugly and effective first. And then once you've built up enough, then you can start working on the pretty tooth stuff and making it look good. Is that giving you more clarity bro?

Jusef Chowdhury (42:20):

Yeah. Yeah. Sure. Sure. Of course. Okay. Can I get them a second question?

Quincy Amarikwa (42:25):

Yeah. Okay. There you go. What's the second.

Jusef Chowdhury (42:27):

Okay. So I'm pretty skinny. You played with a Griffin. So he's about like five, seven, one 30 pounds. I'm like five, five or five, six, one 20 pounds. So like what, how is it that he's able to like play against this MLS player and get so much body? But of course I, I bet you probably pushed them a lot on the board too. So how is it that he like gets away with it?

Quincy Amarikwa (42:51):

You mean? So how, okay, so there's different. There's different ways in which you're approaching this. Are you saying, how does he match up against guys physically? Yeah. So he doesn't match up against guys physically. That's not his strength, right? Like,

Jusef Chowdhury (43:10):

No, like, like sort of getting away, not, not, not to go like with body and his body. Cause he knows he's not gonna win it. But like sometime when they're coming at you, how you like Dodge it.

Quincy Amarikwa (43:21):

Yeah. That means, but that means he's he's he has to see the game several steps ahead. Right. So he has to approach the game and make the big guys look like this. Oh, I'm a big guy he's gonna punch you. Is it easy to Dodge? A big strong guy he's doing this. Yeah. But, okay. So, so he's been able to tap into an understanding of the game that his focus is on finding space where he's not relying on his physicality. So he's trying to play several steps ahead and moving into places where he can draw guys out of space so that he doesn't have to be in a physical, physical confrontation. But the best way that you can go about doing that is really greatly improving your first touch because the better your first touch is. And that's the main pillar of the three three pillars of soccer success right there. The first touch and dribbling ball control is the most important because the better your first touch is the more time you have to make a good decision. So the worse your touch is the less time you have because the part of the ball gets away from you. Once you take a touch or if it takes you more than one type, so

Quincy Amarikwa (44:32):

You can control the ball. That's more time for the other guy to get close to you. And if the guy's stronger and faster than you, the more time he has, he means more space he covers. So if you're wanting to avoid the physical game, make your first touch. So good. So clean that all the big strong guys, if they get close to you, it's a foul. That's how those guys survive. That sounds like smaller guys survived. So your first touch has to be amazing. And what helps you as well to you is reading the game and being smart having a smart high soccer IQ.

Jusef Chowdhury (45:08):

Okay. All right. Thank you. It's been nice talking to you. So.

New Speaker (45:11):

Of course, brother, thanks for it. Good luck with everything.

New Speaker (45:15):

Thank you.

Quincy Amarikwa (45:21):

Yup. H U N D O underscore said we need midfielder tips. Drop your question, man. What kind of kinda midfielder tips do you guys want? Love how you guys are all trying to have Roast sessions in the comment section, but you're too scared to join in on the live and get your question answered. Let's see what we got here. Yeah. Paul said for the #AskASoccerPro Show. Yeah. I need to, like, I think a lot of guys are still traveling to Orlando and they're getting like situated and stuff. But I think when Earl gets there, he could talk to some that he can talk to some of the guys and see what we can get going from the bubble. Cause I think that'll be good.

Quincy Amarikwa (46:19):

Let's see. Okay. Ben Jammin. Ben, let's go guys. We've got 15 minutes left. So if you've got any questions, make sure you drop them down here below Emilia said facts. Yo what's going on, Ben.

Ben Butterfield (46:33):

Hey, not much spent to get a pump on, but I want to get a quick question in.

Quincy Amarikwa (46:40):

Okay. Of course. Before you get started, let us know your name, your age, where are you calling from and your Instagram handle?

Ben Butterfield (46:47):

Alright. My name is Ben Butterfield. I'm calling from Phillips Maine. Umy Instagram handles B E N dot underscore dot J a M M I N.

Quincy Amarikwa (47:03):

Like I said, we always gotta get you guys to spell it out so we can make sure we're clipping it right in post production. And how old are you on 19 right now? 19. Awesome. Ben, please go ahead, brother. What is your question?

Ben Butterfield (47:21):

All right. Yeah, so I have, I tried out for a college team last year and I ended up

Ben Butterfield (47:30):

Getting cut I'm in a five year program in my college though, and I can only play a NCAA soccer for four years. And so they thought it was best to cut my freshman year. And so I can use up the following four years, but this year they've recruited more players and they lost, they recruited 10 players and lost eight and we also have a lot of walk-ons potential. Walk-Ons hopefully getting there and it's a [inaudible] school and it's going to be very competitive. So I was wondering if you just had any tips or any suggestions on what to do to get me noticed in the team, this coming up, try out.

Quincy Amarikwa (48:10):

I mean, let's take it, let's get real real here so we can get the best that we can. Why didn't you make it the first time,

Ben Butterfield (48:21):

I guess? It's because I wasn't active enough in the team, I guess, you know, it's, it's also kind of a club you gotta got to get beyond the ends with. And he said the coach told me that it came down to me versus one other guy. And he said that the other guy had only a four year program and I had five years. And so he told me that it was a, he told me that it'd be best if I took the first year off and did something else instead. So I ended up doing cross country, but I still really wanted to play on the team. And so I've been working hard and I've been talking a lot with the coach, but I guess it's just inexperience. I really I guess I haven't played like travel soccer and haven't gotten taken too many opportunities in the past, but I decided kind of late that I really liked the sport. And so I've been working my butt off trying to catch up with some of these guys with more experience. Okay.

Quincy Amarikwa (49:34):

So, okay. So that's good. You know what you're missing? Do you believe the coach for the reason why he gave you? You're already telling me now when you're telling the story,

Ben Butterfield (49:50):

I half believe what he said. I think, I think the guy that I was that he didn't say any names, but I think the guy he was talking about ended up being my roommate, but yeah, we were pretty even, and I think he took him because it was just a slightly better tryout period. And I think it was easier to cut me

Quincy Amarikwa (50:14):

Important. There you go. It was easier to cut you than it was him. Okay. Coaches are looking for easy decisions,

Quincy Amarikwa (50:24):

Right? So you want to make a decision to get rid of

Quincy Amarikwa (50:28):

You two really hard. So then my next question for you is that was a year ago. What work have you done that will help that has you catch up or pass the guys who are on the team?

Ben Butterfield (50:43):

I've been working out a lot. I've been doing a lot of work. I'm like I tried your pushup challenge. And then about when I stopped the whole world fell apart. So I'm going to try to do it up again and maybe it can turn around for this year. But I mean, I try to touch a soccer ball every single day. I try to work out. I try to stay fit and eat healthy for the most part. And

Quincy Amarikwa (51:08):

Yeah, there you go. We're going to stop you there again. You kept saying, try, try, try. I'm asking you what you're doing. What do you do? What don't you miss?

Ben Butterfield (51:18):

I don't miss a day where I've soccer balls, not on my feet. I think the last time the, usually the minimum I do is 1,500 juggles. That usually takes me about 15 to 20 minutes and every single other day I'm doing more stuff. And so about 20 minutes is the minimum. And I think the last time I went under 20 minutes was last September.

Quincy Amarikwa (51:47):

Okay. Now, now do you feel that you are better today

Quincy Amarikwa (51:55):

Okay. Than you were then? And if so, how much better?

Ben Butterfield (52:00):

I think I'm definitely better than I was then. And I think a lot of that has to do with confidence. Actually. I think where I've made great strides was I'm not necessarily practicing too much more than I used to, but I'm practicing a greater variety of things. And so I can practicing things that I don't necessarily like to work on as much. I like to work on long distance running, but I'm working on sprints more. I don't really like to work on dribbling. I like to work on passing more, but I'm making sure to get in a little bit of everything. And so I feel a little bit more confident and also getting to know the players on the team a little bit. I, you know, go to the same college. So we've gotten together a few times and I guess this coming year, I'm not going to be as reserved or as I was last year. And so I think that would help.

Quincy Amarikwa (52:59):

Okay. How long until the trial?

Ben Butterfield (53:03):

They start halfway through August. So about a month and a half.

Quincy Amarikwa (53:07):

Okay. What do you feel you're missing or what, What do you, what do you think if you got better at it between now and then would guarantee you make the team

Ben Butterfield (53:21):

Going into beast mode? I don't know which position I'm necessarily gonna play. I've played a lot of positions in the past and I don't, I don't really know what position they're looking for. I've played everything from center back to winger and center mid, so,

Quincy Amarikwa (53:42):

So what did they do? Okay, so now you're formulating your plan. Okay.

Quincy Amarikwa (53:48):

Yeah. A long-term winner's mindset, okay.

Quincy Amarikwa (53:50):

So you could do research to find out what is the most needed position on the team. What is the coach most desperate for? And what is the position that coaches most cares least about.

Ben Butterfield (54:05):

All right. Do you suggest just straight up asking him and like an email or something? Maybe. Yeah.

Quincy Amarikwa (54:12):

If you find out, I mean, if you, yeah, you can ask directly or you can ask some of the guys on the team, like, Hey, which is the position that the coach doesn't care about least, or which is the one that needs the most help. Right. So you started doing your, yeah, you're doing your research. You're figuring it out. Then you're going like, okay, why is what's the position that he needs most and why maybe he likes paying a four for three, but all the guys who are currently playing are only know four, four, two system. So maybe you're doing deep research on the four, three, three system while working on your tactics, watching some tactical Tuesdays, right? Watching some indepth, we listened to previous episodes and then you're doing additional you're you're signing up for the P pro weekly program that Ryan has since gotten launched and going right where you're working on your dribbling and your first touch in your technical and tactical awareness a month and a half is enough time to understand and learn quickly, which position would be the easiest for you to go forward, to shoot for?

Quincy Amarikwa (55:15):

Because your goal is to make the team, right? Yeah. Most everyone's trying to go, Oh, I want to be the starting striker or the number 10 on this team on it. I'm going like, well, if the best I can do right now is to be the water boy for the team and just be there. Right. And I can learn which positions, what, what the coaches philosophy is, who he likes, who he doesn't like, why he likes them, why he doesn't like someone else. And then I'm stepping in and just being a, you know, a person who's an all time offense guy or all time defense when they need something. And I can show him that I can hang. I'm not trying to do anything fancy or crazy. Like I'm reliable. Okay. Now I've built a foundation. I've got a little bit of experience. People know me.

Quincy Amarikwa (55:59):

They know they can trust me. They know they can rely on me. Okay. He's not going to score a banger, but this dude won't ever let anyone get behind him. So now you're known for something. Okay. You can use that in Nikes. Okay. Now that I'm known for this, can I be known for this as well to you? And now I'm planning and I'm building. And when you don't have the experience that the other guys do and you don't have the network, the other guys do, and you don't have the, from other guys, nobody's going to take a chance on you. No, one's going to risk their reputation on you unless they know that it's a sheer thing.

Quincy Amarikwa (56:33):

The guys are looking for a sure thing because why would they risk their reputation? If I tell a guy, yeah, this guy is great. He's amazing bringing him in signing. You know what I mean? And he does that. He signs you in your crap. You're garbage. That negatively reflects upon me. And now even if I have messy and I try to convince this guy to tell him to sign, you know, I remember the last guy you sent here, not good. Right? It's your reputation. So if you build out a reputation, reputation of being reliable, honest, consistent, hardworking, it's the longest way. It's the longest path to make it. But it's the only way that I know that can guarantee longterm success. And that's what I'm sharing with you guys, right? I'm not saying, you're not saying you're going to be the starting striker for DC United one day.

Quincy Amarikwa (57:26):

Right. What I'm expressing to you is going about it this way. It gives you a chance to be that. And if not, you have many, many other options as opposed to most people that are attacking is like that or bust. So yeah, if you're looking for short term right away, I don't know how to do that, man. I don't know how to do that. Right. Is that giving more clarity that give more clarity?

Ben Butterfield (57:54):

Yes. yeah. It gives me a lot to think about, I love tuning into this and listening to your talk. It's it's nice. It's exciting. Thank you for that answer.

Quincy Amarikwa (58:09):

Of course, man. Thanks for, you know, thanks for being a loyal follower putting in the work and you know, coming back with questions and feedback, cause it helps me be better as well too. So I think Instagram is going to kick me off here in a minute and a half. So I make sure we keep this, but thank you for calling in. I appreciate the support, the photos, the tagging and stuff, bro. I'm pulling for you I'm looking forward to hear how stuff plays out and yeah, if you need any more help. So send me a message, send me a message and email and hopefully we can get you connected with a little bit more information that can help.

Ben Butterfield (58:45):

Alright. Yes we will do. Thank you.

Quincy Amarikwa (58:48):

Of course, man later.

Quincy Amarikwa (58:53):

Alright. Thank you very much, Ben, for joining in guys and girls, we got a minute left before they kicked me off here. Everybody. If you'd like the mental breakdown sessions today, spam that hard button drop into Miami and your head emojis. Before we wrap it up here, let me get, just let me see some I'm in your head. Emojis. I need, I need energy. I need life before the 45 seconds of this live stream is over. I'm excited for things that are come in. No Dylan is official gamer for perfect soccer accounts. So he'll be getting a set up here live. He just got his PS4 delivered out to him. We've got more interviews come in, more shows coming. Matt dropping them on and your head. Thank you very much. Seen everybody spend that heart button Emilio. Thank you very much. Love the support guys and girls. I've got 15 seconds here. Please be on the lookout for everything. I'll be sending out email here soon. Perfect soccer weekly and everything else as always. I'll see you guys here next week. Thank you so much for the support and I'm in your head.