Nov 26, 2020

How To Deal With Referees Being One Sided Against You.

by Quincy Amarikwa

The #AskASocerPro show is a Live video podcast where 11 year MLS vet and Mental Strength Coach Quincy Amarikwa dives into the mentalities of highly successful individuals both on and off the pitch. In this weeks episode Quincy discussed about how to deal with referees, analyze a pro player during a game and more.

Time Stamps

0:00-9:26 Welcome to the #AASP 94!

9:27-11:42 Understanding why clubs charge even after you have left. @soccer_dad_4life

11:43-13:36 How often should players weight lift when offseason vs in season. @theoneknownasanthony

Did Quincy and his wife constantly travel when he was traded. @oscarrrmejia

13:53-16:06 How to deal with referees being one sided against you. @lucapodnar._

17:46-20:35 What do you look for when studying film from past games? @joe.jackson11

Was Quincy a multisport athlete as a child, and what sports does he watch? @soccer_dad_4life

24:08-25:14 Has Quincy ever scored on his birthday? @mtl_impact_memes

25:29-27:53 How to analyze a pro player during a game @sageofdbz

How many hours should a 16 year old train in a day? @therealeldin

How can I stay involved with soccer when I can’t play? @findingryanc

27:54-30:05 That's the end of the special birthday edition of the #AASP show!

Quincy Amarikwa_Quote_1

Quincy Amarikwa_Quote_2

If you would like to listen to the episode:

If you would like to watch the episode:

If you would like to read the interview:

*Transcript is unedited and machine-generated. There will be errors. For further clarity please refer to the audio or video.

Quincy Amarikwa (00:18):

[inaudible]

Quincy Amarikwa (00:18):

Yo, what up? Connor Johnson. The one known as Anthony. What's going on, brother? I haven't seen you in a while. Dylan Hadley. What's going on? Ash pin dropped in DC. United shout, uh, MSL fan page. What's going on? Jeffrey, underscore B and S T R. Welcome. Welcome.

Quincy Amarikwa (00:40):

Let's see
Quincy Amarikwa (00:41):

What we've got here. Everyone's joining in Amelia. What's going on, brother. Great to see you. Jeffrey what's up. Trevor Willis football, Lisa 22, joined in what's going on, uh, liver pool, FC pant fan page, dropping the Island. Your head emojis first to drop a name and you're in emojis. Happy to see it. Ash said Stryker gang, gang, gang, gang gang. The real Elden. How are we doing, bro? I'm doing very well. How are you? Uh, great to see everybody, uh, for those of you who do not know today, October 29th is my birthday. Thank you. Emilio said happy birthday, sir. Thank you guys very much. So today will be a short, a shortened version or a shortened episode of the ASCA soccer pro show, uh, uh, the wife and I have some limited time away from our boys for the first time in like months. So, uh, happens to be on at 6:00 PM, PST 9:00 PM EST on Thursday, but you guys know what it is, no matter what, uh, what's going on or where it is. We join in live here for the hashtag ASCII soccer pro show episode 94 or 95

Quincy Amarikwa (01:54):

94,

Quincy Amarikwa (01:55):

Maybe 95. Uh, but you guys know what it is every week for joining in live. We talked about the MSL, the mental strength league, you know, that MSL fever has taken hold across the world, which is great to see a lot of people jumping on the rent free I'm in your head train, trying to understand what's going on. You know what we just trying to stand up there and I'm happy to have you guys join in as always soccer dad for life. What's up, what's going on with the cook happy. He said, happy birthday. Thank you very much. Um, we are on our way to the dealership. Um, our lease is up, so we'll be turning it into the home, essentially between the car, the cars, cause we've got like a month and a half less left on our lease. So look at that on my birthday, we've got some time away from the kids and we're getting business done and we're just taking care of some stuff that we haven't had a chance to get around to.

Quincy Amarikwa (02:51):

Uh, so we're, we're on our way there and then we're going to go get some dinner. Uh, but yeah, we'll, uh, let's jump straight into it. You guys who have joined in, in the past had been a part of the ASCA soccer pro show in the past, know what it is, this is your chance to get your questions answered from a 12 year professional soccer player. Um, and we talk about life soccer philosophy and everything in between. So, uh, it's great to see everybody, um, and as always drop your comments and questions below, uh, drop them in the comment box, dropping your, I mean your head emojis, spam that heart button with anything and everything. Uh, you're wanting and let's get into it. Uh, let's see what we got here. If you guys can hear me okay. Spam the heart button. Cause I can't tell if I'm being heard. All right, and this what's going on?

Quincy Amarikwa (03:50):

Uh,

Quincy Amarikwa (03:53):
Uh, Ash dot P I N N said I was the ball boy when Rooney did a nice save from the corner kick last year. Okay. Yeah. Ashley, I think is the first time I've seen you joined it on the live. Uh, how'd you find out about us and welcome everybody. Please welcome Ash, uh, to, to the community. Hope to see you a part of us for a long time. Um, the one known as Anthony said, glad to be back, been training and played some pickup soccer, glad I'm getting some normalcy back, even scored a goal and napkin assist. Well, congratulations. Happy to hear that things are getting back to normal and you're playing the beautiful game. We're happy to see you and thank you very much. I've seen everybody spend that hard button, so I know I'm coming through loud and clear, uh, pin that comment, those of you who are new and have not had a listen to the three S's of self-awareness talk, make sure you get over to perfect soccer skills.com/n S S S and have a listen and get the full download on what the MSL mentality is and how to build that foundation.

Quincy Amarikwa (04:49):

If you haven't already, I'm getting a bunch of happy birthdays from everybody. Thank you very much, Jeffrey,

Quincy Amarikwa (04:55):
Uh,

Quincy Amarikwa (04:59):

For that Montreal impact means joined in Joe Jackson, joined in what's going on. Oscar. Welcome. Yes. If, uh, E H a R R E N 21 said, happy birthday. Thank you very much. Uh, Joe Jackson had said, okay, you're Quincy. I miss last week's at that's the soccer pro show episode, ready to absorb some of that MSL today, though. Happy to hear that. But you know, the best part of it, Joe, is we make sure the replay gets published over on perfect soccer skills.com. So I'd encourage everybody to make sure you go and listen to previous episodes and subscribe to the podcast. Perfect soccer skills.com/radio, um, and get all the previous shows and the PS clips, um, downloaded into your cerebellum.

Quincy Amarikwa (05:47):

Oscar Oscar asked, are you still with the lights currently? Yes, I'm still with the lights, but the season had just ended. And, um, you know, you've got off season negotiation in talks. The, you know, the plan as of now is to figure out a deal to come back, but there's in the, in the professional soccer world, you can end up in the same place you can end up somewhere else. Uh, could end up in MLS, could end up staying in the USL, uh, can end up over in the UK. You never know where the MSL wave will take you next, but, uh, that's the plan. As of right now, Montreal impact name said happy birthday, Quincy, thank you very much. Uh, Joe Jackson said went through double overtime and that was, uh, an MSL mentee of mine that came or given me a call I'll have to, I'll have to reach back out to him later.

Quincy Amarikwa (06:43):

He should know the show's going on right now. He has got to go spam. You guys gotta go spam, uh, uh, Keem's Instagram page drop some I'm in your head emojis and, and, uh, and, uh, like tell him shame on shame on you for interrupting, interrupting the show. You should know better, has good, good follow a cube and give him a shout out he's down in MSL. Uh, and uh, he's been doing so he's been doing a lot of personal work and self-development over the course of this year and I'm really proud of the progress he's been making. So, uh, let's see. Let's see what we got here. Yeah. Seen lots of birthday wishes. Thank you guys very much. It looks like, uh, it's probably just a more chill day today.

Quincy Amarikwa (07:35):

And, uh, it sounds like there's just a lot of, a lot of good news from the community coming in, uh, CALT dot underscore O seven said I scored last week in my match, even got to assist, bro. Well, congratulations. Happy to hear the perfect soccer community is helping you level your game. Uh, uh, Oscar Oscar said that perfect soccer shirt and looking real while I'm training to King had emojis. I got my perfect soccer shirt on as well too. I got the, you guys know what it is. I got my favorite. You my favorite sweatshirt of all time, switch this up sooner.

Quincy Amarikwa (08:12):

Who we that fall season's coming in here. Are you here for where are your hands?

Quincy Amarikwa (08:27):

Uh, yeah, let's see also another in other news as well to you since we're just talking about good times and having fun, let's see you see, uh, my, my, my boys had soccer practice today. Let's see a show. Do you know their, their races? Getting them, getting that work in left me hanging though. And then the other little one came in as well too. Yeah. So they're in that train again, like I'm telling you guys got to get that training in, uh, sir, and Lord putting in that work. What do you guys do? And you guys put in that work as well too.

Quincy Amarikwa (09:22):

Hey, there we go.

Quincy Amarikwa (09:24):

Yeah. So, uh, yeah, so got a chance to take them to practice today. So that was fun. Um, uh, the soccer dad for life said, uh, took my boy to the expensive club and then old club making me pay off the remainder of the old club fees. Even though there was no season in Chicago, uh, live and learn. Yeah, man, I feel you on that. I, I see both sides. One, I see the club, some of the clubs probably are really struggling because they don't see, like they don't see a means to not collect that money. But I also feel like it's not, it's not in good taste to collect money from people for something that doesn't exist or like doesn't exist this year. You know what I mean? Um, I mean, even go through my own thing with the, my auto responder for my, uh, for my private newsletter, I've been with get response for years and, uh, their model for how they're charging was very, not transparent, which I'm not happy with right now.

Quincy Amarikwa (10:29):

And I'm seriously considering switching services and I've been with them for, well over like eight years, I was really disappointed in what, what they're doing. So like basically there, you'll see you'll set what your list is in your monthly fee for the list, but what they, what they don't make clear is that they'll, they'll charge you additional if your list grows and keep billing you. So like what they've been billing me is like four times the price of what I signed up for unknowingly, but then they can, they, they got an alert to let them know and let you know when your car credit card expires, but they don't have an alert to let you know that they're going to charge you four times what you signed up for. Um, so yeah, it's not that, uh,

Quincy Amarikwa (11:17):

Yeah,

Quincy Amarikwa (11:20):

It's very, I guess, uh, I, I, I, I can relate in my own way and what I'm dealing with with one of my other things, it's also go like, I understand, Hey, I signed up for it and I, and I, and they, they sent, you can look in the terms of services in the super small section on the corner of what you signed off on and where they're there. Right. But it's also saying like, okay, common courtesy. So, yeah, let's see. Uh, okay. The one known is Anthony asks, how often should players weightlift in regular, compared to off season?

Quincy Amarikwa (11:54):

You guys know that that one's so difficult because it depends on where you're at in your career, what your goals are and where you want to, what you want to get to. Um, but let's say just generally rule of thumb, if you're talking about maintenance, um, and you're someone who's wanting to take it, take the game seriously, I'd say at least two times a week, uh, three times a week, if you have a set, set, uh, program and, and you know what you're doing, or at least you're working with someone who knows what they're doing.

Quincy Amarikwa (12:23):

Um, but

Quincy Amarikwa (12:24):

As, as you develop throughout your career, you'll learn and understand what your body needs. Um, you know, more strength, more flexibility, more stamina, more rest, and you'll adjust accordingly. Uh, Shannon said, happy birthday. Thank you very much. Uh, soccer dad said happy birthday.

Quincy Amarikwa (12:41):

Cool to you. Uh, the real LDN, um,

Quincy Amarikwa (12:47):

What's your goals? So he asked how often should I train as a 16 year old? Well, what, what level do you want to play at? Uh, what level do you feel you're at currently?

Quincy Amarikwa (12:56):

And I can give you better feedback. Oscar hit Oscar,

Quincy Amarikwa (13:03):

S C a R R R M E J I a S. So when you were in the MLS, would you and your wife constantly moving when you were traded around different teams? Yeah. So my most recent trades from San Jose to Montreal and Montreal to DC, and then DC here back to, uh, uh, Las Vegas. Yes, the, my wife and family moved with me before, before we had kids. Uh, my then fiance, which is now my wife street. She, she was based in California.

Quincy Amarikwa (13:35):

Um, uh,

Quincy Amarikwa (13:38):

In the off season. I'll be back.

Quincy Amarikwa (13:41):

Okay. Still open. Yeah. It looks like it.

Quincy Amarikwa (13:45):

All right. Let's see what we got here. So I got like 10 more minutes and then we'll wrap up. Today's a shortened birthday episode. So if you've got a question, make sure you drop it in here soon. How would you deal with the ref? Okay, so Luca, P O P O D N a R dot underscore asks, how would you deal with a ref who is not giving calls? You're way more, uh, more directly to you?

Quincy Amarikwa (14:09):

Mm,

Quincy Amarikwa (14:11):

Okay. So that's during the game, during the game, if you're able to calmly approach the ref and just ask for sidebar and to discuss, you know, just asking for more clarity and let them know that you're there to listen and to understand not to belittle them or make them feel like they don't know what they're doing, or they're stupid. They very well may be dumb and don't know what they're doing and have missed a call or gotten it wrong.

Quincy Amarikwa (14:37):

Um, but at the end of the day,

Quincy Amarikwa (14:39):

They they're the one that's in charge of how the game flows and whether they call fouls against or for you. So you want to do the most, you want to do the best of your ability to make sure the ref is on your side, or at least the ref isn't against you. Um, so, uh, approaching them in a respectful manner and then even understanding that some reps don't want to talk to you and they have their own idea as to what they think of you or how they feel about you. And you kind of have to accept that. And, um, uh, you still play your game. And also it's good to, you know, build rapport with referees, um, before the game. So, you know, saying hello to them, acknowledging them as human beings. You know, I think sometimes people can forget that refs are, are people too, and they're not going to be perfect.

Quincy Amarikwa (15:29):

They're not going to get everything right. Their goal is to try to get everything right, and to be as fair and balanced as they possibly can, but we all have our biases. We're all human. And the better you can treat others like humans, the better it's going to be for you in the long run. I think, you know, it's as simple treat others how you want to be treated. Um, sometimes that can be really hard to do because we can get really emotional when it comes to the game because we're passionate, we want to win. And sometimes we think the world's out to get us. Um, but that would be my advice for that. That's a good one. Uh, shout out all the referees, uh, that I've, I've played with and spoken to over the years. Um, I've learned a lot from all of you.

Quincy Amarikwa (16:13):

Uh, Joe Jackson said also happy birthday. Of course. Thank you very much. Kendall Cox joined in with the, with the triple face I'm in your head emoji drop. Uh, Oh, no. As Anthony said, perfect soccer t-shirt and hoodie. Hashtag drip splash. Braheem what's going on. Welcome. Welcome. McNasty is joined in Tony. Um, soccer dad said, he said, it's the coaching fees, but it's only his dad and son who were coaches, Hey, uh, there, whatever they can do. Um, they might. Okay. I love that soccer dad, uh, for the, uh, soccer dad for life had said, um, I'm going to the new expensive club and they might offset the difference working that out. I'm in their head, LOL loved that. I love a solid negotiation, uh, approach, much respect, uh, negotiate, that deal, get that deal done. You guys know I'm the director of strategic partnerships for BPC black players for change been.

Quincy Amarikwa (17:20):

Uh, we've been, we've been doing a lot of amazing work and, and, and finalize some deals with some amazing organizations. One of them being a us soccer foundation must go lighting. Uh, we, we, uh, with Adidas just recently, New York, red bulls players coalition, and we're in talks with a couple of other organizations that I'm excited to hopefully announce here in the coming weeks, but that all, that's just that negotiation skills, everybody. Um, so, you know, I love that. Let's see Kimball said happy birthday. Thank you very much. Okay. Joe Jackson asks, what do you look for when you're studying film from past games who, okay, that's a loaded question, but that's good.

Quincy Amarikwa (18:08):

When I'm studying film from past games, I tend to look for, I'm tending to look at my movement off the ball and the spaces I'm creating for my teammates, as well as the space I'm creating for myself in advantageous positions, um, on the field and specifically in the box. I think an issue problem that I'd run into though sometimes is I'll think too far ahead. Um, and in doing so, I'll be too far ahead of the play. And, uh, that's just as bad as being too far, too far behind the play. So, um, you're wanting to find that sweet spot. And you wanna, you want to play at the level of your teammates, um, with, in terms of thinking. So you don't want to, uh, thinking smart in, in, in being,

Quincy Amarikwa (19:03):

Being dynamic and creative and unpredictable is positive. Uh, when it's against your opponent, it's not a positive on your side with your teammates and stuff. So, um, learning and understanding the tendencies of your teammates, the ways in which they feel most comfortable on the ball, what types of movements and runs and angles. They like to play the ball and then figuring out ways in which you can create space to make their job as easy as possible. Hopefully that gives a little bit of clarity because there's a lot of stuff that you can look at when you're watching film, but that tends to be my area of focus.

Quincy Amarikwa (19:39):

Okay.

Quincy Amarikwa (19:43):

Uh, soccer dad for life said, do you watch other sports? And were you a multi-sport athlete as a kid? I did not. I do not watch sports. Um, I guess I'm willing to watch sports, but I'm a casual sports fan. So if people are saying there's something that's worth watching, so then I'll watch, but I'm not actively a follower of any other sports leagues or, or games, but growing up, yes, I was a multi-sport athlete. I did everything. Um, bowling, basketball, triple jump, high jump pole vault, discuss, um, hurdles, American football, volleyball, tetherball, um, Oh, ice skating ballet. Um, yeah, literally every, any, and every sport I could participate in, I would try, uh, really, uh, really loved sports, uh, swimming though. I'm not too good at swimming, but I did that when I was younger.

Quincy Amarikwa (20:44):

Um, let's see,

Quincy Amarikwa (20:48):

Kendall said, some people just don't get the calls.

Quincy Amarikwa (20:50):

That's correct. Unfortunately,

Quincy Amarikwa (20:53):

Jade pro skills what's up.

Quincy Amarikwa (20:56):

Um, let's see.

Quincy Amarikwa (21:05):

Uh, yes. If 10 said, I feel so confident in my ability after partial ankle tear a tendon tear, fun fact, without even reading the blueprint. So imagine after I read a that's high level, Emma MSL thinking right now, that's high level,

Quincy Amarikwa (21:18):

Well confidence,

Quincy Amarikwa (21:22):

Uh, Luca, uh, ponder DAS, would you suggest becoming a certified ref to learn more about the game? Yeah, of course. I also think he just gives you, uh, you know, additional things to add to your resume. It, it helps you build more connections. You know what, now I think about it more, uh, being a player and certifying yourself as a referee would definitely be a very, uh, strategic angle to like build your career within the game. That would, that is very, that'd be very smart. I, I think that that is a very smart thing to do.

Quincy Amarikwa (21:59):

Uh, let's see.

Quincy Amarikwa (22:05):

Let's see. Daisy, what's going on. Sage, a DVC dropped in finding, uh, uh, finding Ryan C joined in yo what's up? Timmy pig. What up everybody. All right. So let's say I've got, uh, three more minutes, four more minutes, and then I'll be signing off here, especially all the lights gone down. It's getting dark.

Quincy Amarikwa (22:26):

Let's see some lights in here. Yeah, that's all we got. Huh. There we go. Let there be light. Um, put my flashlight on you too much. Okay.

Quincy Amarikwa (22:44):

A foreign 20, 23 said, Oh my God, you have OMG. You have taught me so much. Thank you. Of course. Thank you very much for tuning in and reading and stuff.

Quincy Amarikwa (22:55):

That's the light.

Quincy Amarikwa (22:58):

Oh, a couple updates as well to you. I was just recently on the first half podcast, you guys should definitely check that out. Um, it was a good one. Um, lots of, lots of, lots of deep level conversations. I know a lot of you are, um, are big, uh, you know, pro relegation, uh, uh, advocates, I guess, would be the best way to describe that. Uh, we, we, we dive into that. We dive into a lot of like race relations in, in the U S soccer in the U S soccer system in space. Um, we go real deep on a lot of different aspects, you know, the hybrid model that I'm, I'm thinking in terms of

Quincy Amarikwa (23:35):

With the, with just, um, what do you call it?

Quincy Amarikwa (23:40):

The MLS system and in the future.

Quincy Amarikwa (23:46):

Quincy Amarikwa (23:48):

That's a good one. So if you guys haven't checked it out, make sure you, you have a listen and give me your thoughts on, on it. And we've got five more minutes here and then we'll call it a, an episode. Yeah. Luca had had said that, said that. So let's see

Quincy Amarikwa (24:14):

[inaudible]

Quincy Amarikwa (24:14):

Montreal impact names said, have you ever scored on your birthday? I would have to just I'd have to say yes, just because I feel like statistically speaking for how long I've been playing soccer, I'm sure I've played on my birthday, but I can't remember specifically any, any particular role in my birthday, but that would be okay. Um, if anyone can go through my soccer history and figure out and find out if I scored on my birthday and come can pull that clip and like post it and tag me in it, I will send you a perfect soccer mini bowl for free, Uh, going to start doing that. That'd be more fun. Yeah. People start doing their, their, their MSL research. Okay. Uh, I got one for you guys, so what's, what's something that you guys can go do. Deep research on that you feel would be a value to me that you would do for a perfect soccer mini ball or a perfect soccer match ball. I'd leave it up. So yeah. Let me know what you guys were thinking. Give you guys some, some options. Let's see. You'd text him and tell him,

Quincy Amarikwa (25:24):

Okay.

Quincy Amarikwa (25:28):

I don't see them getting just a lot of calls for birthday wishes, everybody. But, um, Sage of DBZ said how to analyze a pro player in a game. I say, uh, watch, watch the slope pro pro players movement off the ball and try to try to understand why they make the decisions that they do, how they, how they hide, hide their movement or hide, or are clever about the spaces they're trying to make the runs they're trying to, they're trying to make and how they're losing their defender. That's how I would say to you, um, analyze the pro player.

Quincy Amarikwa (26:13):

[inaudible],

Quincy Amarikwa (26:14):

Uh, the real E L D I N S how many hours a day, how many hours should a 16 year old train per day? I mean, if you're 16 years old and you are wanting to be a professional player one day and you were not playing for like an Academy or, or professional team, um, or, you know, Academy system, you know, you've gotta be probably dedicating four to six hours a day on your own, just to have like a, a chance at maintaining a level, getting an opportunity. Um, eventually there's just, there's so much more competition. There's so many more kids playing the game and there's, there's just so much more, You know, there's just so much more, yeah, there's so much more competition.

Quincy Amarikwa (27:02):

Let's see,

Quincy Amarikwa (27:03):

Uh, finding, um, Ryan C, is there anything I can do to stay involved with the sport in a career since even though I can't play this sort of a way, let me see, I can't play this sort the way I plan to as a kid. Is there anything I can do to stay involved with the sport in a career sense? Yeah. I mean, I mean, you could become a coach. He can become an athletic trainer, uh, you know, at Las Vegas lights, I forgot. Um, I forgot the intern, uh, the interns name, but he was, uh, I think he said a green beret or he was in the army. Um, he's older, he's an older individual, but he always wanted to be an athletic trainer. And he's an intern. Now I would say he's gotta be at least anywhere from 35 to 45, somewhere in that range.

Quincy Amarikwa (27:53):

I'm not sure how old he is, but he's older and he wanted to get into soccer. And that's what he decided to do. Yo, just a moral drop by everyone. Say what up to Justin, uh, Paul PCG, uh, PG sports dropped in, uh, perfect soccer audio engineer. Give him a shout out. Uh, make sure you check out his most recent perfect soccer podcast episode. Uh, yeah. Paul just said, Justin, what's up. We're trying to get you on the perfect soccer podcast. That's true. Yeah, we gotta, we gotta get, uh, Justin on the podcast. So you guys could learn more about his origin story. Um, but yeah. All right, everybody. What, was there anything,

Quincy Amarikwa (28:39):

Yeah, I'm going to have to, I'm going to call it. I'm going to call it an episode, everybody, like I said, cutting is short for the birthday for the birthday special. I appreciate everybody joining in. Um, please, uh, enjoy the rest of your weekend, your weekend and, um, get your questions together, uh, so that we can, um, we can dive deep next Thursday, same place, same time as always 6:00 PM. PST 9:00 PM EST. Um, I appreciate everybody stopping by saying what's up, uh, sharing some birthday wishes. Oh, I also was just on a black and sports podcast yesterday. I'll uh, hopefully I'll be sharing that, uh, that replay on, on the account here soon. Um, yeah, in the next couple of days. So yeah, everybody. Thank you very much. I appreciate that. All the, um, all the shout outs on your stories and tagging me in your account and, uh, the comments and stuff it's really, it's really much appreciated. And, uh, I hope everybody doing well and staying safe. Um, Luca dropped in the I'm in your head emojis, uh, say happy birthday. Thank you very much. Um, an S take it easy, man. Happy birthday. Thank you guys very much. I will see everybody. Same time, same place. And as always, I mean, you had later everybody.