The #AskASocerPro show is a Live video podcast where 11 year MLS vet and Mental Strength Coach Quincy Amarikwa dives into the mentalities of highly successful individuals both on and off the pitch. In this weeks episode Sirena Amarikwa discussed about What is she involved in? How does she handle temporary obstacles? her experience learning how to compromise? and more.
0:00-3:45 Welcome to the #AskASoccerPro show ep. 107, we are featuring one of our most special guests yet.
3:46-6:09 @SirenaAmarikwa The G.O.A.T Creator joins the #AskASoccerPro show ep 107.
6:10-9:17 What is @SirenaAmarikwa involved in?
10:33-12:15 How does @SirenaAmarikwa handle temporary obstacles?
12:16-15:18 How @SirenaAmarikwa made @QuincyAmarikwa into a Gold Medalist in Mental Gymnastics 😂🤸🏽♀️
15:19-16:28 What does @SirenaAmarikwa think of her journey to where she is now with @QuincyAmarikwa?
16:29-22:27 @SirenaAmarikwa’s experience learning how to compromise.
23:30-25:43 What’s the day looks like for @SirenaAmarikwa when @QuincyAmarikwa leaves on game days
27:48-32:40 Who’s more competitive @SirenaAmarikwa or @QuincyAmarikwa?
34:18-39:05 How do @SirenaAmarikwa and @QuincyAmarikwa manage being business partners, consultants, husband and wife and parents?
39:06-41:01 How did @SirenaAmarikwa stop being nervous before a race?
41:02-47:30 What negative experiences has @SirenaAmarikwa had in the soccer space?
47:31-50:34 @SirenaAmarikwa on what Black Players for Change means to her
50:35-56:10 What does @SirenaAmarikwa think the effects Black Players for Change will have?
56:11-59:10 That’s a wrap on the 107th episode of the #AskASoccerPro Show featuring the one and only G.O.A.T Creator@SirenaAmarikwa.
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*Transcript is unedited and machine-generated. There will be errors. For further clarity please refer to the audio or video.
Quincy Amarikwa (00:00):
We're all here to ride the MSL waves. You've mentioned the strength lead. I'd like to welcome you to another episode of the hashtag ask eight soccer pro [inaudible]. What up Liverpool official coach Edgar. Welcome brother Connor Johnson dropping in Mr. C H R I S H 95. Welcome. Welcome, Joe Jackson was popping Serita America truly than in Luke. Uh, CC H Oh, what's going on? [inaudible] joining in athletic 11 Libre pool dropping the, you know what it is. I already know. He already know what it is. I'll put up on the screen, shut up guys over at a soccer sub podcast, just releasing an episode. I shot with them like two months ago.
Quincy Amarikwa (01:02):
So if you guys haven't listened to that, make sure you go and check that out. And as everybody's joining in today, even the hellos and pleasantries, you guys know what it is because today is going to be a very special episode. I'm excited for it. If you guys can hear me all right, spam, that heart button drop them. I'm in your head. Emojis. You guys can hear me and, um, we'll kick it off with you. You know the intro we got now, so what's going on, everybody. Welcome to another episode of the hashtag ask a soccer pro show. I believe we were on episode one Oh eight love and everybody seems to span that hard button on your host. 12 year pro MLS cup champion, MLS comeback player of the year, UC Davis hall of fame member, black players for change founder and MSL coach Quincy [inaudible].
Quincy Amarikwa (01:49):
And you know, we're here to talk about the MSL every Thursday, 6:00 PM, PST 9:00 PM EST, live on the app. Perfect. Underscore soccer, Instagram account, the mental strength. LII I am, you know what it is, I'm in your head for those of you who are just tuning into this frequency, um, it's a game of 40 chess. One where you either aware and an active participant or you are upon in the game steady getting played. Now, for those of you who do not know what the MSL is, it is the mindset you need to accomplish your goals. And that may lead you to ask yourself, why should you have this mindset? Well, so you can learn how to learn, why learn, how to learn so you can know how, and when you are stopping yourself from achieving your goals and what to do about it. And finally, when does this mindset start?
Quincy Amarikwa (02:40):
The moment you take responsibility for where you are, even if where you are, isn't your fault and put forth a plan to learn what you need to, to continue forward. And those of you who know what it is and join in here every Thursday, drop them. I'm in your head emojis and spend that heart button. And let me know if you're ready for today's episode, because we've got a very special guest for women's history month, especially guests for women. History month is removed. It is, it is somebody who is very, very influential, inspirational history in the making times a bagilion. And, um, let me see what I got here. And, uh, I'm excited to have this conversation. Oh, what do we got here? Um, because today's special guest is the greatest woman in the entire world. In my world, the rock of my family, be the foundation of everything that you guys see and have experienced. Uh, my wife, Serena America will be joining us for today's live. And, uh, let me, let me get her buzzed in here. Oh, um, I don't know. I'm, uh, integrate and move this thing. Okay. There we go.
Quincy Amarikwa (04:47):
You guys have used for two day special guests, uh, spam that heart button drop in some of your questions. And we're going to ride the wave. Where did you send me the stuff in Slack? Like 30 minutes ago. Yeah. Where though? In which channel? Oh, you me and Haley. Uh, okay. That's what I was like. I can't find it. Yo, what up? Everybody's everybody's spam that heartburn, their love and to see who's joined in as our guest for today's episode, I'm used for it as well too. And I'm trying to get to my notes because you know, I'm doing this like way more organized now. Yeah. Cause I'm super cool. How's it going? Hey, official coach Edgar.
Quincy Amarikwa (05:44):
Okay. I got, I got it. Okay. You ready? I pulled it all up. Okay. So everybody for us to get started because we're just going to riff and have an old MSL episode. And I already Serena, just she's she's down to get the smoke. No, no, we're taking it easy. We're going to dive into that mentality and, um, uh, ride the wave. But, uh, before we kind of kick it off here and give a little bit of background. So Serena America, right? Today's theme is history in the making, because what you're doing is historic and people are going to do documentaries and build monuments and statues.
Quincy Amarikwa (06:34):
Yep. Going to cause if they don't, I will. So someone's going to go. Exactly. So it doesn't mean it's already going to happen. So who cares? Um, statues of ourselves OneAmerica Quakers, I'm just staring off into the distance, looking at nothing, just cause we can, okay. I'll give a little bit of background for those of you. For those in the audience who are unaware as to who this legend of the human being is sitting in front of me on the screen right now. Uh, so some of the quick notes, uh, Serena was a gymnast for eight years, competed to level 10, uh, which at the time was the level before you compete to make the Olympic team. I ran track professionally for four years, traveling to Canada, Ireland, Belgium, Finland, and Finland. Um, she is currently the brand director for BPC that's black players for change and the only female in the organization to date history and making, speaking of history in the making, right.
Quincy Amarikwa (07:30):
Uh, she's also the brand director of perfect soccer, shout out perfect soccer team. Like I said, foundation, he, you can set the purpose or the purpose. Sacramone one, right? She is the owner of E V L V. That's evolve online. So those of you who don't know now, you know, and head over to EBL v.online, because you guys were wondering what the plug looks like. It's sitting right in front of your face right now, smiling. She's in super hard cheese and hella hard mother of two of my two beautiful boys, sir. And more to America married to Quincy American. Why not?
Quincy Amarikwa (08:13):
We'll talk more about that. So little to, uh, us ATF, San Diego, Imperial women's track and field representative, and also sat on the athlete advisory board and soak and fun fact just cause it's true was on the social media consult was, uh, on the, was a main social media consultant for Bitcoin gold back during that hard fork back in the previous bull run. Well, people don't know we've been in that cryptos to do outer space. The resume just keeps building and I'm sure, and I know we're leaving off a whole bunch of stuff, but at least give it a little bit of a background in an idea as to the multifaceted nature. That is a miracle know we're going to peel back those layers tonight on the show and also let everybody who has any questions go ahead and drop them in the, um, in the comment box here, spam that hard.
Quincy Amarikwa (09:12):
But if you guys are as excited for today's episode as I am and uh, let's see. Okay. Uh, so while we do that welcoming a few more guests in here, uh, Connor MC 42 say, Hey, Quincy, I've missed a lot, uh, a load of episodes and it's 2:00 AM in England. Yes, you have brother [inaudible], but welcome back, tapping into that hashtag frequency, um, history in the making episode. Let's see we've got here. Um, yeah, everyone's spamming that heart button candle dropped the three heart emojis, uh, uh, lagger pulls said probably a new episode for this episode soon. Um, in your head, uh, Candace said, let's go coach Edgar dropped, uh, the, um, in your head candle dropped I'm in your head emojis, Joe Jackson as well too. And yeah. Okay. Everyone's spammed that heart button drop. Any questions you got? Uh, Tatiana dropped in G and Serita America fan girl moment. Okay. So, so now, okay, now that I'm thinking about it, all the directions we can go, but, but let's start it off with first. What is mental strength means to you?
Quincy Amarikwa (10:44):
Um, okay. So mental strength to me is having a goal, um, and not letting any obstacle deter you from achieving that goal.
Quincy Amarikwa (10:58):
Okay. Short and sweet. Right? Okay. But you okay. As you know, cause you tune into the show, we talk about lots of people call them problems. We talk about, we call them temporary obstacles. Right? So mental strength to you in terms of having a goal, not letting something deter you from reaching, it has to mean that there's going to be temporary obstacles along the way. Yes. Okay. So what are some temporary obstacles that you've seen? Um, that, yeah. What are some temporary obstacles that you've seen? What have learned how to navigate around and, and what allows you to do that?
Quincy Amarikwa (11:41):
Um, I'll start with myself. So I would say a temporary obstacle would be self doubt, which I feel is something that everyone experiences, um, and the way I've navigated around that is I already have X number of people that are doubting my success. So why be one more person to doubt myself? And so that's kind of the mental gymnastics as we like to count.
Quincy Amarikwa (12:11):
Yeah. You guys are, you guys are wondering how I became some mentally strong and there's a looking at her. Right, right there. Speaking of gymnastics, she almost made it to the Olympics, but how to, you know, how did it, I think it was a big reason why we probably resonated so well when we met back when, uh, 17 years old Senator Smith. Okay. So you had a, what should have been a career ending injury back at what age?
Quincy Amarikwa (12:41):
Uh, Oh, 11,
Quincy Amarikwa (12:43):
11, okay. 11 or 12. And I had a, basically what should've been a career ending injury of at the same, same age. Right. I broke my femur was in a cast. And what couldn't move for a year. You broke your back. Right? First of all, I didn't break what'd you do? I broke the ice. Get it. I told you, you give the smoke
Quincy Amarikwa (13:17):
Break my back. I know. What'd you do to our symbol? I mean, I guess yeah. I broke my back.
Quincy Amarikwa (13:22):
Thank you. Don't try to brand the wreck and try to flip it. Yeah, you haven't that's right. My lower back.
Quincy Amarikwa (13:33):
And the doctor said I can either keep doing gymnastics or another team
Quincy Amarikwa (13:38):
Quincy Amarikwa (13:41):
Or I can stop and then, uh, be like a normal teenage kid and play sports. So
Quincy Amarikwa (13:48):
Got you. Okay. So my point on that, everybody in terms of, uh, so Serena went from physical gymnastics to mental gymnastics at 11, and then went on her path, uh, to eventually getting to UC Davis where I, uh, where I sat and met her for the first time. And then my mental strength league hit a whole new level. Like, wow. Would you say I'm an Olympic mental gymnastics, Olympic gold medalist.
Quincy Amarikwa (14:25):
Would I say that?
Quincy Amarikwa (14:26):
Yeah. Would you say that?
Quincy Amarikwa (14:34):
Quincy Amarikwa (14:41):
Quincy Amarikwa (14:42):
I would have to say that. Yeah, we, we are, uh, uh, the mental gymnastics is like a whole new leak.
Quincy Amarikwa (14:51):
It's monumental, it's history. It's historic,
Quincy Amarikwa (14:55):
Literally history in the making. Like
Quincy Amarikwa (14:59):
You're literally, you guys are watching us make history right now having a mental gymnastics exercise in front of your face.
Quincy Amarikwa (15:09):
Oh my gosh.
Quincy Amarikwa (15:16):
Yeah. So, okay, so here's a good one. All right. So you, so you saw where I started, right? So this is great. You saw where I started and I saw where you started, right? So where you see a sitting now, what do you make of all that?
Quincy Amarikwa (15:42):
I think it, basically, we just both looked at each other and, and it was like challenged, like on like, what is that? Uh, tech and tech, right? Or the, what was the guy that was always doing the flips, the black guy. He had dreads.
Quincy Amarikwa (16:04):
Oh, you're talking about Eddie. Gord of Tekken.
Quincy Amarikwa (16:06):
Yeah. Tequila. Yeah. So it was like that, like, I was a character, you were a character. We walked into the room and it was just like game on. And then from there it was just like, well, let's see, who's going to win this game
Quincy Amarikwa (16:22):
Competition brought us together. Right. Okay. So then this is good. Cause the mental strength league is the result of the AmeriCorps process, right. Or seven steps, patented mental gymnastics league process. And on that journey, teamwork equals dream work. Right. So you got to learn how to work in a team and working in a team means compromise right now, knowing where you started and seeing where you started, knowing that you were in an individual sport, which is track right. And an individual sport that is gymnastics and then flipped over to mental gymnastics. Right. And me coming from a team sport that soccer.
Quincy Amarikwa (17:07):
Quincy Amarikwa (17:11):
What did compromise mean to you then? And what does compromise mean to you now?
Quincy Amarikwa (17:20):
To be honest, I don't know if I'm actually fully grasp the concept of compromise. So I love that. Okay. Okay. I think I'm truly getting there. Um, because you know, as an individual athlete, like there's no compromising, like you're one team and you have to do whatever it takes to achieve your goal. And so now that I'm in a team setting, you know, I have to learn that what's good for you. Isn't always good.
Quincy Amarikwa (17:56):
Yeah. That's a tough lesson to learn. Right.
Quincy Amarikwa (18:01):
It's an extremely tough lesson because it's like, up until this point in my life, it's always been just like, I know what to do for myself. This is what I need to do. But now it's like, okay, but now you need to know what to do for everybody. So what works for you? Does that work for everybody? So you have to learn like what works for everyone? What, what, but what also works for you? Um, if that makes any sense.
Quincy Amarikwa (18:29):
No, that's good. All right. So what has been for you? Okay. So the focus has been on you, right? The focus has been on you, but the focus has to be on you to understand who you are. Right. Figure out what you want for yourself, what your standard is, what your expectations are. Not only for yourself and others. Right. Um, but once you get to that understanding or that level of awareness and you make the decision, uh, to operate for, or with, uh, something greater than you in mind, right. You have to breathe. Right. You have to refocus and reposition you follow me. Okay. Okay. So
Quincy Amarikwa (19:19):
I'm also laughing at tots comment. Oh yeah. What it was, it said, don't forget. I was at a dance
Quincy Amarikwa (19:27):
Sure. To Carol's dance group where she did it, have to turn into a solo dance group because Rena couldn't handle
Quincy Amarikwa (19:36):
Quincy Amarikwa (19:38):
Uh, while he joined in said my people with heart emojis and gloves. Uh, thanks for stopping by brother. Oh, okay. So what I'm saying is like, and that makes sense for an individual sport, right? That's, that's gymnastics, that's a track and field. Right. And, but once you're transitioning into more of a team sport team environment, um, what do you switch your focus to? So what, what is your, what's your long-term vision or what, what's the thing that you think of when you're going through those difficult moments of, in those difficult times, right? Cause you said it's a journey you're getting there. It's difficult. You see a lot of stuff along the way that does not make you happy. That's part of the, that's part of the process.
Quincy Amarikwa (20:25):
Yeah. I think for me it's what am I so angry at? Am I angry that I don't know something? Am I angry that someone's better at something than I am? If they are better, how are they better and why are they better? And what can I do to be just as good as them? And then it's do I need to be as good as them because this is a team. So how can I leverage their skillset with my skillset and come to a compromise?
Quincy Amarikwa (20:58):
I like how you put compromise in court
Quincy Amarikwa (21:02):
So how we can work together. And I think like a part of it is just like humility, right? I don't think it's something that like a type personalities or individual sports, like athletes. Like I don't think that's a space that we live in very often. Um, so it's kind of, for me learning how to live in that, um, and understanding that there's power in that, and it's not seen as it's not seen as a weakness, even though you might feel it's a weakness, like it's an opportunity to understand what you can improve on as an individual, um, and learn from someone else to create maybe a deeper relationship with that person. So
Quincy Amarikwa (21:49):
Get you some taken away from that, like lean into insecurities, lean into vulnerable, being vulnerable. It's uh, it's difficult to do, but it's, uh, becomes a strength or an asset in the long run.
Quincy Amarikwa (22:04):
Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, learning how to be vulnerable and okay. And trusting that in being vulnerable, what you're, you're wanting out of that vulnerability will improve you later. Even if it doesn't feel like it is in the moment. Okay.
Quincy Amarikwa (22:26):
I like that. Let's uh we'll so we'll say to take in some questions from the audience, because I'm seeing a lot of people who are having fun, uh, a lot of cry, crying, emojis and dying here, laughing faces, giggle Fest is upon us. Uh, crack face memes. You've got okay. We've got the first question that came in. I'm a pulled up here, Kendall, come in with a heavy one handle. How do you get in Quincy's head?
Quincy Amarikwa (22:57):
I don't think I've ever gotten out of it. So I don't know how to answer that question,
Quincy Amarikwa (23:08):
Kendall, you know, the best part of it. She said, she thinks, and here at perfect soccer, we talk about, we know what we know. We don't tell you about what we think. We tell you what we know. Okay. You got me love that. Let's see. Okay. Live RP, FC band page. This is for Serena. What was it like for you and the boys when Quincy, or what's it like for you and the boys when Quincy leaves for games? Um,
Quincy Amarikwa (23:47):
What's the time when, when Quincy goes off to on games, you know, I make sure that we have activities that we're doing for the day and we have tons of playdates sets. So a game, I guess, travel morning, we have family breakfast, we drop them off at the airport. And then normally after that one, it's one of them's nap time. Then I have like an hour or two hours to hang out with. Whichever one is a lot, not is, uh, awake, alive, awake. Um, and then when the second one wakes up, it's normally like we're at the park. So we'll spend two or three hours at the park. Then after that, we'll probably go home, make dinner, um, watch a movie and then cook dinner and then bedtime. Then on game day, it's normally spinning two to three hours at the park. Maybe we're going to a friend's house spending another three or four hours there.
Quincy Amarikwa (24:47):
And then maybe we're watching the game there. Or, uh, we're watching the game back at the house. Kind of just depends on my mood and the kids move, whoever we are, visitings mood. Um, and then when he returns, it's normally I pick him up during nap time. So I make sure I time it so that by the time I get to where ever he's landing, whether it's picking him up at the stadium or picking them up at the airport, I time it so that it's during nap time. So the kids fall asleep in the car so that when we get there, the kids are sleep. And then we, uh, Quincy and myself can kind of talk through the weekend and get updated on what we did for the weekend, where we're at, where we are, uh, mentally. So that's kinda like
Quincy Amarikwa (25:38):
She just walked into the masterclass. Step-by-step Paul, Paul, Paul joined in with all the control. And then, uh, who else had just joined in? Uh,
Quincy Amarikwa (25:52):
Quincy Amarikwa (25:52):
Oh, Julian, Julian joined David. What's going on? Julian and Mark Haynes. Yeah. That's all Mark. Shout out Mark minute till six podcast. Um, one of Serenas um, what'd you say under management? Under developed manager.
Quincy Amarikwa (26:09):
Oh yeah. We helped launch his podcast. Yeah. Sorry. First minute, till six,
Quincy Amarikwa (26:17):
Quincy Amarikwa (26:18):
Well for himself, you know, uh, it's been amazing to just watch his journey and like he's part of the MSL. He set a goal and you can literally watch him make his history. Right. Literally making history.
Quincy Amarikwa (26:33):
Yeah. So yeah. So Mark, we did the Mark did his first deal with clutch point, right? So we helped Mark do's first deal with clutch points. He started his till six podcasts. And now I think he's parlayed that into the new show. Um, his new show is Mauro dot 23 dropped in what's going on, Larry? Yeah. I go by Instagram tag so everybody can see, you can see what up. Uh, yeah. What is it first year is the new one, right with the year one. Mark. Yeah. Mark. The new shows year one. Right. Um, you know, so if you drop that in there, we can share that. Um, what was I, Oh, there was something I wanted to ask you and the vein of Oh, um, in terms of okay. Teamwork. Right. And, and yeah, so this is good teamwork, mental gymnastics, uh, the nature of our competitive relationship. Right.
Quincy Amarikwa (27:57):
And finding ways to compromise. Right. And make things work. When you have your own individual goals for in sport, I have my own individual goals in sport. We have our collective and individual goals in family. We also have our collective and individual goals in business and a bunch of just huge, probably ridiculously large goals that are big enough that we want to accomplish. Right. So in the chaos that we can create for ourselves at times to learn and understand each other's world and, um, build a solid foundation that can literally make history and be generational. Right. Um, how, how have you found ways to remain committed to that? Like to keep them two? So in terms of, I know how competitive you are, right? Yeah. And how competitive and how competitive I am. Right. So like what, what, how is it that we actually compromise? Like what, what did you w how do we do it? Like,
Quincy Amarikwa (29:20):
How do we compromise?
Quincy Amarikwa (29:22):
How do we do that? I don't even know how we do it.
Quincy Amarikwa (29:24):
I honestly, like, I think we compromise in our competitiveness, like, all right, this is our goal, and this is what I'm going to do. And then you're like, okay, well, this is what I'm going to do. And I'm like, well, I'm going to do what I'm going to do better than you can do what you're doing. So,
Quincy Amarikwa (29:42):
So, yeah. Okay. Yeah. But then who does it better? Cause if your goal is to do better than me and my goal is to do better than you, and then we just agree to disagree. Like it's like, there's, I don't think there's an acknowledgement, like yeah, you did it better. I feel like our goal is always like compounding. Right. We just keep going and going and going and going, because we're just like, all right, you're here, I'm here. I'm here. You're there, here. And like, I feel like that's what we're doing. Like we're building. Okay. What, okay. What's something you've learned through that process, right. That you now know to be true, that you didn't believe to be true when you started like, uh, I think what I've learned is that you you're more competitive.
Quincy Amarikwa (30:54):
Okay. When did you learn that? I'm sure I've learned it a few times. It's like, I learned it and then I forget. And I'm like, no, that's your competitive nature. You literally I'm like, that's not true. And then I do compete some more and then I'm like, ha man, he's still going. And I'm like, he's not going to stop. I think that's why our goals get bigger as bigger. Yeah. Cause you keep doing it. I'm just like, okay, fine. Fine. Yeah. Yeah. Quinsy. Okay. You might've done what I said you couldn't do and thought you couldn't do, but you can't do it backwards would be like what? That doesn't even make any sense. If you can't do it, then just say you can't do it.
Quincy Amarikwa (31:58):
No, like I'm not going to assume the kid do anything. Cause I can do everything I can do. [inaudible] let's do it. And then it comes down to like, Hey, do you want to keep doing everything? Cause this is a lot of weird. And I'm like, yeah, you're right. This is a lot of work. All right. Let's just do something now. I'm like, yeah, you're right. I am right. What are we going to do? No, no, no, no. We agreed to agree. Cause you said, yeah, you're right. And I'm like, yeah, you're right. I'm right. And then no disagreement. If you guys want to join in on this mental gymnastics masterclass, keep spamming heart button. K refugees joined in span the heart button.
Quincy Amarikwa (32:46):
Where do you guys find the energy?
Quincy Amarikwa (32:48):
We used to pray.
Quincy Amarikwa (32:51):
Where do we find the energy to be superheroes? Yeah. Oh, we don't find it. We give it a man. I don't have to find the energy. We, we give the energy.
Quincy Amarikwa (33:03):
Did you say
Quincy Amarikwa (33:04):
You have a rainbow on our land today? Yeah. Did you guys know that we're where the rainbow ends and begins,
Quincy Amarikwa (33:10):
Then post that to the feed. And if you think we're lying
Quincy Amarikwa (33:15):
Quincy Amarikwa (33:16):
True, whether you believe it or not, it doesn't matter. Sorry that we talked about it true. That you are the believer that you guys want to see where rainbow starts and begins and ends tune into hashtag America anchors, by the way, I'm super juiced about posted my June bug challenge. I've been, been trying to get around to doing that for the last like 35 days. I saw it like the very first day it was posted and I'm like, yes, I remember I showed it to you. I'm like, Hey, I'm doing this. I'm like, this is going to blow up. There's going to be huge.
Quincy Amarikwa (33:49):
The tail end of it. I should totally do this.
Quincy Amarikwa (33:52):
We should totally do this. Where is it? Yep. Yep. Okay. Yeah. Mark said yeah. Year one. Um, Julian had asked, does Quincy have a favorite European team? No. No I don't. Okay. Okay.
Quincy Amarikwa (34:16):
Oh, we're talking about this in the car. Oh, okay. Before I even go to that. So like you had mentioned, like when we get in the car and we're driving, we're trying to share with where each other are at mentally. What happened? Get each other over the most important information in level of priority, as things are growing and changing over time. Right. Um, which can be a difficult task to do compartmentalizing, you know, husband, wife, relationship, uh, business partner, relationship, consultant, relationship, you know what I'm saying? Employee contractor, like, there's a lot of hats. We're just switching hats all the time and it's like, Oh, sorry. I didn't realize I've got my I'm your coach hat on. So I can tell you that you suck and it has nothing to do with you, you know? Cause, cause you did something I didn't like and continually having to build that trust and that rapport between us right. Took very long time. Right. So how, how do you do that? How do you do that
Quincy Amarikwa (35:23):
Build trust? Or how do I learn to differentiate when you're being a husband being a business partner when you're being an employee when you're being consultant?
Quincy Amarikwa (35:33):
Yeah. So like how, how do we, like in your mind, how would define that? Like we found a way to do it, right. A lot of tough conversations. I've, I'd tell you, I've told you that told you this since the day we started dating was the most valuable thing. The thing that I value most about our relationship is our
Quincy Amarikwa (35:51):
Quincy Amarikwa (35:53):
That's correct. Right. So I've been saying it right. And, and uh, that's always been true to me and that I believe that will always be true. Um, but that doesn't mean that the conversations are easy. Uh, to be quite honest, they're probably, uh, they're extremely difficult and I think most people think we're crazy to even bother having those conversations because it'd be much easier not to. Right. Okay. So we know that that's true and we know we're extremely competitive. Right. So why do you see those conversations, those tough conversations as necessary as, as, as being a necessary part of our ability to get to this point, at least?
Quincy Amarikwa (36:46):
Um, well I think it's a way that we understand that we trust each other, right? Because we're willing to have the tough conversations and the ones that do we don't want to have, but we trust in the fact that we're having the conversation because there's something that the other person can't see. And we just want that person to see it so that they either one can fix it or to come bask in the waters of Lake Minnetonka.
Quincy Amarikwa (37:20):
I'm trying to, there's a glorious space
Quincy Amarikwa (37:23):
And we'll just like hammer down on a message until that person sees it. And then it's just, I think for us, like the excitement and understanding that you have someone that can see what you see, um, is what we're continually fighting for. Because we're just like, dude, I want to have someone that's right there with me that can, can see what I'm seeing a mile away and know that greatness is about to happen. So we can just frolic in lilies for two years
Quincy Amarikwa (37:53):
On the land.
Quincy Amarikwa (37:56):
So it's going to happen. But when you're by yourself, you kind of just like, who am I going to frolic with? But yeah,
Quincy Amarikwa (38:03):
I'm just going to crop it, frolicking by yourself as cool. But come on, you probably know yourself forever.
Quincy Amarikwa (38:07):
And I think that's why they say it's lonely at the top. Right. Cause it's like you and you get to the top and then you're like, man, this sucks. Let me get somebody else here. And then you're finding that person so they can get to the top. Then they get to the top and they're like, Oh wow, you were right. This is really cool. But then that means you, you elevate. Cause you learn how to get someone to where you were. So you're just constantly like doing that. And then maybe this person gets to the top and they're looking at you like bro, what happened? And then you're like,
Quincy Amarikwa (38:34):
I got, and I got tired, but okay, wait. No, I'm back. I'm back. Okay. All right. Let's see. Um, Oh, okay. Well, uh, before I, uh, I saw our RFK refugees, uh, had said the hard conversations are, are the important ones. Oh, a hundred percent. A hundred percent. Um, uh, R a F a R Z a T E 35 had asked, um, how can, how can you stop being so nervous while indeed, um, I would assume that would be something similar for you just like nervous before a track meet or a race. So what would you do to focus on or how to stop being nervous?
Quincy Amarikwa (39:25):
Who I think I used my nerves, so I D in, in track, it's like, we have to be quick. So when you're nervous, you're already like tense and you're ready to go. And so I would just channel that into focus. So in track and field, you put your hands down, you focus on the spot. So I'd focus, put all my energy into that one spot and tuning out the crowd and then listening for the gun and then either the gun or a movement. Right. So if you hear the gun go, then go. And if you see a movement, then you go.
Quincy Amarikwa (40:04):
Quincy Amarikwa (40:05):
I just learned how to channel my nerves into something that would help me run faster. Um, so I guess for you, that would be channeling your nerves maybe into something that you're most confident in, um, on the field and using that to be, I'm sorry. I'm no soccer knowledge whatsoever.
Quincy Amarikwa (40:34):
No, no. I love that. I like, so here's the best thing about leaning into vulnerabilities and insecurities, right? Like Serena, Serena doesn't have a vast soccer knowledge. Right. But still trying on the live show and being vulnerable, which is exactly what we're talking about, leaning into that. Right. So practicing what we preach here as you guys can see, and that's a great transition into the, kind of the questions that I was wanting to ask you in terms of, um, you obviously have limited soccer knowledge because you didn't play the sport growing up. Right. I also had limited soccer knowledge because I only played the sport growing up. I didn't watch it on TV as you know, right. I didn't have any favorite players, none of that. So, so you and I are coming into the soccer space, probably like the two people in the world who have the least knowledge of soccer ever, right.
Quincy Amarikwa (41:32):
In history, speaking about history. Right. Um, but our competitive nature and our willingness to want to learn and figure things out. I think it was a huge asset and valuable for us along along the journey. It was also a very, you know, it was a huge, uh, expense and made things very difficult as well. Um, at times, but navigating the soccer space, I know definitely for you has not been easy. Right. There's been a lot of difficult, uh, experiences along the way. And we've had lots of conversations about them over time. What about the, maybe share if you want, uh, could you share, like, what about the experience hasn't been great. Um, but, but also what, what about the position you you're, you've been in and, and the work you've done through BPC as a brand director, like, what do you see is being put in place to improve those experiences?
Quincy Amarikwa (42:42):
That's a good question. I guess for me, what hasn't been great right. Is like, okay, I'm the wife of a pro player. So there's already that stigma of like, Oh, she's just another pretty face in the crowd. Who's here to just marry some guy, have kids and live on an Island. Like, that's the extent, like you're reduced down to just like your reproductive organs. So there's nothing more value this woman could possibly provide other than providing this man children and looking pretty on his arm. So for me, that was kind of difficult just knowing like in the beginning of our relationship, like what I had comp, what I had accomplished up to that point in time, and then just act having like knowledge, like a brain, like having the ability to hold a conversation. And then people having conversations with people who think you don't know how to hold a conversation.
Quincy Amarikwa (43:45):
So then it's almost like you're having an intellectual conversation with someone who thinks you can't have an intellectual conversation. And then they leave thinking like what just happened? So it's like having those experiences over and over again where it's like, okay, here it goes again, this guy thinks I can't have a conversation or this girl thinks I can't have a conversation. Let me, uh, let me show you. I know how to talk basically so that you understand I'm more than what you think I am. And then also just like, there's not very many, uh, females who look like me in the industry. So a lot of times, like in most of the classes that I was in, I'm the only black person in the room. So not having kind of like that ally to kind of explain like the soccer culture and the wag culture.
Quincy Amarikwa (44:36):
Cause that's what we're called. Um, it was, it was different or difficult and just interesting. Um, because there, there that culture exists. Um, it's there and you see it and then sometimes, you know, you want it, I want it to feel involved. And I would kind of, I mean, we had this conversation where I was like, I'm not being myself, like my normal, confident, um, I won't say confident, my normal, like I know what I want. I don't care if you're scared of my confidence, self, whatever. Um, I'm dumbing myself down to appease these people so that they can see like I'm safe. I'm nice. I am not scary. And it's like, I hated doing that. Like they could tell that I hated doing it, but I was just genuinely like, why do you need this? Like, like, can we all agree that this is stupid? Or do I need to keep playing this game of like, I'm the quiet girl know? And it was like, okay, let me, let me try to, uh, what's the word I'm looking for? Not, not be the angry black woman, because that's not what I was doing, but it was like, okay, let me be the full of energy.
Quincy Amarikwa (46:26):
Okay. So you're just testing ideas. You're just trying to figure it out. That's what we're doing. And I'll say, that's what we're doing. Just like, Hey, this is like this, you like this, you know, Oh, I can come back to that. That really made him mad.
Quincy Amarikwa (46:49):
You'd be like, well, Serina, you are a little off putting. I'm like, yeah, my personality is kind of strong. Maybe if I go in there and say this next time, I understand that I was being nice. The first time
Quincy Amarikwa (47:01):
I can trust them or they'll think that you weren't ever, and now they don't know what you're doing.
Quincy Amarikwa (47:09):
Quincy Amarikwa (47:11):
So, okay. So obviously there's a lot of experiences, tried a lot of different things. Uh, like we talked about here a lot, right? You got to make mistakes. You're not going to get stuff right. The first time or the second time or the 10th time maybe might even take you a hundred times. Right. But if you stick to it, you'll figure it out or you figure out something that works for you. Um, one of those things that is working, I think for you and for others, and is a very like something that I think will be looked back on in soccer history as a, as an extremely historic influential impactful moment is the formation of the BPC organization, black players for change. Right. And I think the role that, that role you've played in are continuing to play in that. Um, what does, what does the position mean to you and what does the organization mean to you?
Quincy Amarikwa (48:07):
Um, what the organization means to me is that, uh, what I had a good, I had a good analogy for it. Um, basically the changes here, right? You know, we're always talking about like, Oh, something needs to say something needs to change. Something needs to change. Well, something did change. And we know that because of what we literally see on the internet now. And, you know, I, I think we got here and for our organization in particular, because we're very, we're thinking of the future. So what do I need to do now to set my future self up, which is something that you always talk about, which is what I feel BPC embodies. Right? Like you see us now, but understand what we're doing now is for later for, for future, uh, yeah. For the future. So that, and then just seeing how like a group of black men can argue disagree.
Quincy Amarikwa (49:21):
Uh, and then in the end, all, I won't say all, I'll say like, start to understand the conversations that were being had at the beginning of the organization. And then from my perspective, like just seeing how deeply rooted certain issues are and just a self issue, like not understanding self, not understanding so value, not understanding how, like you can say one thing, but you're literally doing something else. So kind of being contradictory and like, Oh yeah, I'm, I'm gonna uplift this, but then I'm going to tear this down. And it's like, well, you can't say you're going to do this and this, because that means you're not doing anything. Or you can say, you're going to do this in this, you know, uh, maybe this is forward facing and this is not forward facing. So, you know, like it's been an amazing learning experience just to, to where people are. Um, and, and yeah, just
Quincy Amarikwa (50:35):
What do you, okay. So what do you feel this will allow for that didn't exist before its existence?
Quincy Amarikwa (50:46):
Um, I feel that it allows for people to view stories in a manner that they haven't viewed them before, because it's through a different lens. And the story is being told in a different way. Um, that it, maybe it has been told this way before, but maybe it hasn't been received before how it's being received now. So I, I guess like in, in saying that it's, it's just a lot trying to figure out like how to explain this. Um, yeah. I mean, it's just a lot. And, and being in the organization, like I've seen the evolution of almost every character you can think of in a black movie, like, like, like the mean conniving character, like you evolve into the like gentle heart that is, that understands like, wow, I didn't know I was doing that. Let me stop doing that. And like, they're literally genuinely thinking like, no I'm doing this because it helps in your, you're literally trying to explain to them like that is not helping, but they think it is. And I like, okay, I like that
Quincy Amarikwa (52:13):
Because that would, that made me think of is what episode was it? Um, uh, how to not be selfish with Earl Edwards Jr. Right. So, so I know you've got, uh, you've helped Earl with a lot of stuff in the past as well too. And hearing him share his experiences of talking similar to what you're talking about. Right? Like, um, we, we talked about here, what got you here? Won't get you there. And maybe you were, uh, selfless in the beginning, but selfless over a long period of time when we focused on that turns into selfish. Right. Cause the world builds around you. So it makes sense. Um, but your ability to come to self realization and self reflect, right? The three S's of self-awareness to understand how you could be being selfish from the perspective of the other person, whether you agree with it or not. Right. Agree to disagree, you, you, you can see that each person's perception is the reality and they have the autonomy to make decisions and behave based on your decisions or indecisions. Right.
Quincy Amarikwa (53:16):
And I, I guess I say that to say like, I, I can see like, why people think certain, and there's nothing wrong with that. Like you are who you are, you have your perspective because of the situations that you've been in or the worldview view that you, you have from birth to now. So it's like, I, I see it. And it's, it's like, uh, you think, you know, but you don't know till, you know, so like I had a lot of those, like, Oh, I thought I knew, and then I learned this and now I know more, and now I understand more why someone does this versus that. Or, you know, so I don't say it to say like, it's bad. I guess I say it to say like, I'm better understanding people where they are in comparison to where they were. Um, and better understanding kind of like, because I see everything and how they in like, um, I'm watching everyone's story, like how it's playing out in how they're evolving over time, based on where they're at, the people they're around, the conversations they're having and the things that they're doing on their own outside of let's say an organization.
Quincy Amarikwa (54:36):
So for the individuals that are continuing to, you know, uh, self evaluate, self reflect, understand self and how they're affecting the greater good, the evolution is, is it's like exponential, it's super quick. Um, for the other ones that are kind of slow to adopt it, that evolution is still there. It's just a little lagging. So yeah, I guess I just say that because I feel I better understand how I can help and the role I can play in helping people understand where they are. If I believe I am at a point that's, let's say a step ahead of them, but then also understanding if I'm a step behind that maybe I'm not giving the best advice.
Quincy Amarikwa (55:26):
It's not like that. Okay. That's a good place to end it. Uh, no, but that's, that's a high level of self-awareness right. And thoughtful, a thoughtful thought process before coming to decisions and executing on things. And when you're, you know, in a position like the brand director position, your job is to understand people where they are and understand where they want to be for themselves and present their story and, and, and share their voice, how they intend it to be shared. And I think you do a great job, a great job of that. And, um, even the stuff that we've just seen here to date is a, is a huge Testament to that. Um, but as we round up on the hour here, um, uh, Joe Jackson said feels like you're putting her through a modified version of the Quincy questions from the cryptic sacrad podcast.
Quincy Amarikwa (56:23):
Yeah. Modification, evolution. Um, and also just, you know, um, uh, Serena's been one to operate in the background for time. Right. So I was excited, uh, to get her on the show to kind of share her perspective, her insights and experiences so that everybody could download that mental knowledge, uh, shout out to Paul, you know, for making it happen. I know he's been, uh, slowly poking and working to get you on the show and maybe this'll give, uh, Haley some encouragement to come join during the show as well too. Um, you know, we, we talked about your position within black players for change, but you know, you've been, um, brand director of perfect soccer as well as, you know, held multiple positions within perfect, soft over time as we built that from the beginning. Right. Um, and, uh, you and Haley on the leadership team is, is, has been
Quincy Amarikwa (57:28):
A learning experience, right? You, you and Harry come, uh, come with hella opinions and fully willing to just throw them at me, which I've always appreciated. And I think it'd be great to get her on here as well too. Cause this has been insightful. Um, I think a live report has been taking some of the clips from the show and reposting on his story. So that's been pretty cool and let Joe know about it. Um, but yeah, everybody that is the show. Um, unless there's any final question that's coming in, I'll wrap it up and uh, said, thank you both. This was great live hope you have a great week and Ben jam and drop the I'm in your head. Emojis. What up brother? Um, everyone's spamming that heart button and Serena. Anything you want to share? Say let the people know
Quincy Amarikwa (58:28):
I'm in your head.
Quincy Amarikwa (58:30):
Okay. All right. Thanks. We'll see you later. Well, I don't know how to end it anymore. Yeah. My head. Oh gosh. No. All right, everybody. Thanks so much. We'll see you next week. Same time, same place as always. Serita is in your head and I'm in your head too later.