How To Build Relationships and Not Be Selfish w/ Earl Edwards Jr. I #AskASoccerPro Show Ep. 056
This week on the #AskASoccerPro Show we had our very own Earl Edwards Jr. join in! I’m very pleased to share our interview with you.
If you'd like to listen to the interview:
If you’d like to watch the interview:
*verbatim transcript
Quincy Amarikwa (00:02):
Eric, what's happening? Welcome. @Mindo_dance,
Quincy Amarikwa (00:09):
@England2130, always loyally subscribing and joining in, and I appreciate that. Love seeing that. Love seeing your, what is it? Your handle pop up @facundo.c_20 What's going on brother? @_K.23.hampton I feel like it's been on time. No. See @Ericport281095, @dcUnited. What up? @Russellcanouse. Joining in on the live. What up brother? Happy to see you. Thanks for stopping in. Guys. If you, you didn't know Russ is officially a real estate agent. So if you're needing real realtor services out in the DMV area, that's what I'm talking about. Lets go! Aye Russ even though this goes on in perpetuity, brother, you know, we we break them down and the podcast goes louder. I don't know if you subscribe to the podcast yet. PerfectSoccerskills.com/radio definitely tell people to go subscribe cause they're going to be, they're going to be getting that. Canouse, canouse canouse like house. Canouse house canouse my bad brother if anyone shouldn't. If there's any one person who shouldn't be butchering last names, it definitely should be me. Right? Marson what's happening? Could you Marson said, could you unblock, I don't believe I blocked him, but there are multiple people who manage the account now. So if if someone was going live and they got sick of hearing his negativity, they probably blocked him.
Quincy Amarikwa (01:58):
We need to have some community rules or guidelines as to getting unblocked or something. Maybe there's something you got to do to, to showcase that you can be an active member and participant in our community. Connor always joining in. It's 2:00 AM in England and he's always tuning in. I'm loving that. I think you said it was your birthday as well too, right? So happy birthday. Happy birthday, brother. Anis What's happening? @FlywithcaptainLucas. Say Quincy about to drop some knowledge on us right now. You guys know what? I'm sure you guys know what I'm out up to you when I'm always trying to do here. @Been._.jammin love @Been._.jammin's emoji. Or Avi. He's, he's, he's always got the, I'm in your head, Avi, which is, which is beautiful timing with what I've got on right now. We're go, Oh, I'm in your head emojis. The beanies woooooo just taking it next level. That's just double the, I'm in your head level. I don't even know if you guys are ready for that. People who are listening to the podcast replay on your audio streaming platform of choice. There's just double. I'm in your head emoji action going on right now that you're missing out on @inner_Miami_sim. Shout out you guys happy to have signed with you. I'm, I'm officially the mental straight coach of @inter_Miami_sim.
Quincy Amarikwa (03:19): If you guys didn't know how to officially announce that, you know that's probably the, the greatest single investment a club has ever made in the history of professional football. And they said Quincy the man. Thank you guys very much. Well, Hey listen, thank you Everybody loves seeing everyone come in spam, that little emoji heart thing. If you guys can hear me out, Ryan, if you're ready to get into today's episode. So I can kind of jump into a couple of things. First and foremost, I want to say welcome to another episode of the #askasoccerpro show. We are on episode 56 of the show I believe. Yes, I think it's 56 and on this show as a soccer pro show current 11 year MLS pro who is in his free agency still. So quick update on that. But MLS major league soccer, Quincy America, I host you on this show where we talk about the M S L and you might be asking yourself, wait Quincy, you just said MLS. What the heck is MSL? Everyone else in the chat, please drop in what the MSL is and what it stands for. We know what it is. The mental strength league. It is the game
Quincy Amarikwa (04:41): That you are actively participating in or you are steady getting played. There is no option in this game. You are you, you're in the game, you're playing, you're here and you're either actively participating in thriving or you're, you're, you're not thriving in the game. And what we talked about on this show is how to thrive in the game of the MSL because we are a community that is working Together.
Quincy Amarikwa (05:05): To take personal responsibility for where we are so we can get to where we want to go. Because you guys know here at perfect soccer, we believe that you and the team you build is all you need to get to wherever you want to be in life for soccer. And we're just a community here making our network our at worth. You know what I'm saying? Talking about core value, teamwork equals dream work. That's what we're doing every single day on the show. I'm gonna take this stuff is getting hot in here. So if, if this is your first time joining in, I'm happy to have you. We're happy to have you, everybody in the, in the community chat box. Let them know when I'm in your head. Emojis, welcome all the new people listening. Yeah, I'm loving that.
Quincy Amarikwa (05:52): The new people tuning in and all of you listening in on the replay, on platform of choice. You know, we're on all video streaming platforms. We're now on the podcast. Make sure you subscribe if you haven't already, but I'm excited for today's episode. As you guys can tell. I'm very excited for today's episode because we are, we're having my first official MSL masters graduate mentee, Earl Edwards, jr joining in here on the live today to really share his experience, his overall experience just in this past year and a, a little bit about just his progress and what he's been working on, what's been going on in his world. And just the story of our relationship, our friendship, we've become pretty we've become really good friends. I'd like to think that we've become really good friends or at the very least
Quincy Amarikwa (06:45): Yeah, no, I'd just say really good friends. The levels of conversations we've had in this short duration of time of knowing each other is probably on par with people who've been friends for like 30 plus years. And chances are a lot a lot longer than that. I don't think most people have the types of conversations that we've been having, but they've, they've been awesome. I've enjoyed them and I'm really excited to have him here on the show today. And before he joins in, I just wanted to share a little bit of my perspective of my relationship with Earl, how I met him and how that kind of transpired, which is a, is a pretty funny story. So if you guys are down to hear that story, give me some, give me some thumbs up or some Jesus' hands or something like that. And I'll share this story of the story of how Earl Edwards thought I was a complete idiot and ignored me for the first three to four months of being on the same team together and locker mates, Blake giving me the thumbs up, loving that @Been._.Jammin and giving me the thumbs up and the rocker hands. And before I, Oh, before I do that, a quick shout out to, to Paul Arriola. My teammates, it's his birthday today. Or maybe it was yesterday, I think is today, you know, is know, it's on delay
Quincy Amarikwa (08:16): With a, whatever you call it. I don't know how to remove that now afterwards, but all right. Yeah, no, I'm getting the
Quincy Amarikwa (08:26): Thumbs up. Emojis and all that good stuff. Let me pull up what I was looking for. Oh, there we go DBAB. There we go. Earl's going to love that. Dbab baby. All right. @M.a.s.Journalists. Whoa. It is Thursday. You are correct. All right, so
Quincy Amarikwa (08:45): Do you guys are wanting to know the story of, of Earl and how we'd first, how we'd first met. So let me, let me get into that story. Well, let me, this stuff was always okay there. There we go. Okay, so we're in 2020, but let's set the stage back in 2019 when I I first originally joined aDC United when I signed Oh man, was it towards the end of February and joined them in, in March. We were at this probably was the first, maybe it was the first or second day of training. We were training at st James, the the new facility that that's built out. Oh man. I forget the location, but it's it's a, it's a beautiful facility. It's a great facility. If you guys haven't been there, you definitely should go check it out. I, I know the guys are training, they're in preseason.
Quincy Amarikwa (09:37): I don't think they're there right now, but they will be training there over the course of preseason. So I think you guys can even go there and watch training if you want. So a fun fact or tip there if you guys didn't know that. But during preseason you always end up having to have almost like orientation every single year. You know, where HR department and the heads of the league, they come down and they give you guys presentations and they let you know, Hey, these are the rules this year. This is what's being passed down and this is what we want players to be aware of. These are the things that you need to know that you can and can't do. And in one it, those, in one of those presentations, I forgot the guy's name, but he was up there and he was talking about the language, which that you cannot use in in game or on field or in the locker room or outside.
Quincy Amarikwa (10:31): Basically, if you use any of this type of vulgar language and you were caught using this language you will be reprimanded, discipline, fined and XYZ. And what I found always, what I find most interesting all the time is when, when these types of presentations are happening, they, they, they go on the board and they clearly lay out all the words you cannot say. And you guys know the typical homophobic slurs just everything race-based slurs, like they're all written out, they're all put up on the board and they're all, they're all there so you visibly can see what you can and can't say. But what I've always tended to notice, especially in this league, in probably majority of leagues, is always the sensitivity on the, on the race subject side of stuff. And on the board, on the board, it said, you cannot say the N word, but that's what it was just written the N word.
Quincy Amarikwa (11:31): That's what it said. So it was like literally the N and then word. You can't say that, but all the other words were written up on the board. And you know, I have a bit of twisted humor as I think most of my friends would say. I find very, I, I find irony and sarcasm extremely funny and stupid and I have a dark sense of humor at most times. And this is my first time and interaction with the team at all in general. And I don't mind kind of setting the tone early in terms of like, Hey, this is who I am. I'm always, I'm always genuine to who I am. And you're either gonna like it or you're gonna hate it and you know, it is what it is. I think for the most part, approaching it that way establishes, establishes an environment where people make up their mind about me quickly, whether they, they think I'm smart or clever, they understand that I'm being sarcastic or funny or they think I'm a complete idiot.
Quincy Amarikwa (12:32): And this is why it's, I like this story so much is because it's really funny to me. And I think the guy who was presenting happened to be white and, and he was getting very nervous when he's getting, when he's going through the words that you can't say, and then got to the N word and then had said the N word and then completed the rest of the words that you can't say. And I had raised my hand and mind you, I wouldn't recommend that this is what you do in terms of your first time showing up in a team or organization or something. Unless you kind of want to just make stuff difficult on yourself for no reason. And I get to the point that there's a reason why I do this, but you know, it's not particularly if your, if your goal is to make it as easy as possible and yourself, this is not what you do.
Quincy Amarikwa (13:17): But I had raised my hand, obviously this is my first time being with the team, the organization. Most of the guys don't even know me at all, most if any of the guys don't know me. I haven't had a conversation with anyone really, as of as of at this point in time. And I had kind of raised my hand and the guy had called me and said, yeah, Quincy, what does it mean? And I'd looked up and I pointed and I said, Hey, you know, I see, I understand all these words, but but what's the N word? I said, but what's, yeah, but what's that word he said? Which was that one right there, the N word, what's the N word? And he just, he got very nervous very quickly.
Quincy Amarikwa (13:56): Right. And he was on the hot seat for a little bit because he was just kinda like looking at me like you know, like and I let them squirm for a little bit there. And I just thought it was funny because I think it's funny. And then and then let then let them know, Hey man, I'm just messing with you. No problem. But and Earl's John joined it on the live here. So Earl, I'm gonna I'm going to buzz you in here in just a minute. When I complete this, I'm letting them know kind of like from, I'm glad that you just dropped in cause I want you to share from your perspective this story, how you saw it and how that kind of played out for yourself. But yeah, it, I thought that was funny and I went about my business, you know, pre the rest of pre season.
Quincy Amarikwa (14:43): Did my work, you know, became a union rep for the organization, did all those kinds of things, worked with guys over the course of several months and didn't really think much of it other than just that moment. I thought it was funny and moved on. As a we'll discuss it. I'm going to ask her. I'll hear kind of his experience, his thoughts, his perspective and why, what he took away from that. I, I didn't realize and learn until Earl and I had spoke at a later time that Earl completely wrote me off and did not speak to me for the first three to four months of my time at the organization. And it was because of that joke in that moment at that time. And since then we've developed a very good relationship and you know, because of that, I believe our relationship is much stronger.
Quincy Amarikwa (15:29): But I just, it'll be great to get his perspective and understanding on this, especially, especially as it pertains to the MSL mindset, the mentality and the way that we're we're attacking problems taking responsibility for what it is that we want to achieve and, and kind of putting forth the plan that we can, that we can actively adjust and learn from our mistakes over time. So most would say that that joke is a mistake in the short term, but like had expressed I do things like that because I'm thinking more longterm, longterm winners mindset. I believe those are the ways in which we can prove what our character actually is and what we stand for rather than people just taking one snippet or one moment or one piece of one action and defining who you are based on that. So Earl has officially joined in. Everybody please drop in your Im In your head emojis welcomed Earl in to the live. I'm going to get him called in here
Quincy Amarikwa (16:33): And start going. And you guys start also drop in some of your questions if you got them. The black Mamba. What's going on?
Earl Edwards (16:42): What are you doing?
Quincy Amarikwa (16:45): I'm doing good man. I'm excited. I'm excited to have you on the show.
Earl Edwards (16:48): Yeah, I came in at a good time. Yes. At the tail end of that story.
Quincy Amarikwa (16:58): That's exactly what I was hoping for. Cause what I, what I thought would be would be great would be one, Hey, this is my experience, my perspective, kind of how I'm sharing it. But I'd love for Earl to kind of share his perspective, his experience. But since then one I want to, I want to talk about our first time meeting because a lot has happened since the last time you had joined in on the show. Just in terms of what you've been working on, what's been going on and then kind of like where we're at with everything. So Earl Edwards, jr current DC United goalkeeper in preseason, I think you guys, are you still in Clearwater? You just got back from Clearwater?
Earl Edwards (18:12): We just wrapped up our last day. Earl Edwards (18:14): We were supposed to be finding out tomorrow morning, but our flight just got canceled. So I don't know how long. We're going to be here for it, but Supposed to go home tomorrow, come back on the 12th.
Quincy Amarikwa (18:24): Nice. Got it. All right, so let's kinda, let's get into it. How about let's, I'll set the stage and then you can kind of take it from there. We're early in preseason last year. I know you're a preseason again with the team right now. You're, we're in preseason 2019 before we even have the the meeting from the league. Right. What are your, do you remember seeing me or thoughts about me at all in any capacity before that moment in the room? New Speaker (18:56): Funny enough, we were trying to figure out today, was that, did you come the same James or Clearwater?
Earl Edwards (19:01): Cause I wasn't sure if you came in with the, I'm a mental strength coach the first or that joke in that meeting, But both had a similar, both had a similar effect. I just didn't know what the timing was.
Quincy Amarikwa (19:17): I think St. James first because I think, yeah. And then we flew to Clearwater, and then that's when like I went up in front of the group and then they asked me what I am. Yeah.
Earl Edwards (19:29): Yeah, so first impressions, I mean, off the bat, my first thought when we signed you, I immediately thought about the
Earl Edwards (19:36): A chip going, you had to get in support. Okay. So I knew we were getting a forward, that's like proven in the league goal score outside of that, like, didn't know anything about you? From the standpoint of like, and the rash decisions or opinions I had Early on or thoughts I had early on looking back, it's like, wow, I did make a lot of snap judgments and it's, I'm glad it's something I've been working on.
Earl Edwards (20:08): I was, I've never told you this. I was with the hair and all I'm like, maybe this dudes native American, I don't know. So there were a lot of snap snap judgements at the time. Adoi Thought that was funny, Adoi is in the room. So yeah, a lot of snap judgments, but other than like, okay, we got a proven,
Earl Edwards (20:30): We'll score and let's see what he's capable of. I didn't know much about you other than you've done your thing on a week for awhile. So from there we had a, the meeting in terms of things that can't be said on around the field, do you want to dive straight into that or do you want
Quincy Amarikwa (20:47): I already, I already said I already told the story. What I, what I had said, the joke that I had made. So make it, let's talk about once I made that joke your frame of mind because now you've set the tone. I didn't really know much about you. Just a couple of things, you know. Hey, okay. Now this is your first complete interaction. This is the first time. Yeah. Or whatever, right? Indirect action.
Earl Edwards (21:11): It was basically one of the first times I heard you open your mouth and that was it. so I was like side. Okay. It was mixed emotions in the room. Clearly the guy was highly uncomfortable about it. I didn't think it was funny at all. So I like, I'm, I was sitting in there, I was sitting in the room toward the thread row and I kinda like looked over my shoulder like, yo, this guy just got here.
Earl Edwards (21:33): That's not funny. It's bold. Like I don't know what this guy's thinking. So 100%, I wrote you off just from the standpoint of like, I don't think that's a funny joke.at all And why is this newcomer coming in and thinking that appropriate? Like, like there was a lot of judgment passed. And to that point, I think you followed that up a week later when we're in Clearwater and someone asks like, Quincy introduce yourself basically, and you raise your hand and you're like, yeah, I'm an entrepreneur and a mental strength coach. I'm like, who is this guy think he is Self proclaimed strength coach like this. does he have a degree in this. Like, cause he's a psychology major. Like what is this guy? So back to back things of like just bold. So I wanted nothing to do with you and I won't lie. I feel like being locker mates and being right next to you played a big factor in like, wait, I'm hearing this guy speak to people every day and I think there might be something to gain here. Like, let me find out. And right away I was like, Oh, I've needed this. So good thing our lockers were next to each other cause it could have been six, seven months as opposed to the three, four months of ignoring you.
Quincy Amarikwa (22:57): Okay, this man, Oh I love this cause to me it's hilarious because the fact that you found it completely not Funny at all is hilarious to me. Like that's my type of humor. Like the, when someone is like, that is not, there's not, not even an ounce of anything that is even remotely funny about what you're talking about. That is, that's the moment where I just am like, Oh man, that's so funny. My type of keep that as my type of humor completely. Yeah. okay. So this is good. So because of those things you, you had made, and we've, we've talked at length about many multiple things. Of course this time. Right. But you had made a snap judgements as to who I am and what I'm not capable of doing as well as you definitely cannot learn anything from that guy.
Earl Edwards (23:50): 100%.
Quincy Amarikwa(23:51): Okay. So and I'm sure we'll discuss more things over the course of that. But like looking back at where we stand right now, What does that make you? What about the way you thought about things then made you believe that that was the best way to think about things or, or to, to, to, to, to behave or to act or move in the world. And why is that different than how you're approaching it now?
Earl Edwards (24:25): Well I mean, and I guess honesty is the best policy and that's kind of stuff we've built over time. To say this online, it's kind of funny, but I think generally the way people are brought up is something that's not really reflected on until later in life. Cause it's not something you have a lot of control over. So for me, I think those, and I'm not saying it's strictly due to how I was brought up, but my own experience. I mean, I left the house very early. I went to the residency program going into my sophomore year of high school. So from then on being outside of the house, a lot of decisions and how I decided to live my life and grow as a man where decisions of my own. And I think I had a lot of close mindedness and snap judgments and felt that I was more intelligent and it felt entitled to my opinion and to hold that against people if they disagreed with me. To look down on people really that I felt disagreed with me or thought otherwise. So when I think something's not funny, not only is it not funny, like
Earl Edwards (25:44): You're an idiot Which I found myself doing a lot in the past. So that's a tough thing to overcome, especially I just turned 28 years old, so later in life to be able to reflect on that and overcome that, I think without having gone through the mental strength stuff that we went through and having hours and hours of conversations of analyzing that and why it is I do that and how to reverse it. I'd still be doing it now, but to look back on it and be like, wow, that was really messed up. And I lived my life that way for a very long time. Trying to reverse that and seeing how my relationships are developing with people that I wouldn't even consider speaking to in the past has been amazing.
Quincy Amarikwa (26:30): I mean and what I've, what I've been extremely impressed with you over the course of just our friendship and you know what I mean? Just like in, in, in the locker room, in the, in the locker room and obviously our time now continuing outside of the locker room and, and on. It's just like the speed at which you're able to self reflect and, and willingness to, to to think through the perspective of if I'm wrong, what does this mean and how can I, how can I, how can I grow as a result of the mistakes that I make? Not how can I rationalize or make excuses for why what I did was okay. Yeah. Yeah. And I think that that is a, I don't know if there's even a name for that, but I know that that is a skill and that is one that as I've played at the professional level for longer and longer durations of time, right.
Quincy Amarikwa (27:31): I've realized that that the higher and higher up you get, the more and more important the little minute skills are, especially not only in understanding their importance, but executing on them like knowing you need to do is change your behavior or change the way you're thinking about it or take responsibility for something is one thing. But actually practicing it and doing it is another, and I've just, I've been impressed with your willingness to practice, you know, to like to make mistakes. And to even like you're saying like, Hey, I haven't shared this, but you know what honestly is the best policy. You're literally practicing it. It's difficult. It means you're putting yourself in a vulnerable situation, but it's a belief in, in your ability to adapt and to learn and to grow over time. So I've, I've you know, I've, I've been very impressed with, with just your ability to do that in your growth kind of overall.
Quincy Amarikwa (28:27): But kind of tying back to that, what, what have you felt, obviously you did it because you believed you would get some type of value from it, right? You'd ignored me for the three to four months, but maybe you had heard me speaking with other guys, the younger guys on the team when they're coming and helping, and over time you're kind of going like, okay, what's this guy talking about? Let me, let me kind of dig into it. Right? Yeah. But it's definitely with the, which is the typical mindset of most alpha males in the professional space. Yeah. What am I, I'm trying to get something out of this.
Earl Edwards (29:00): What's in it for me type thing.
Quincy Amarikwa (29:01): Yes. What's in it for me. So when you, when you approached it with the kind of what's in it for me mindset and kind of where you're at, where you're at now, what, what do you find is valuable about how you approach it now versus the way you were approaching it before?
Earl Edwards (29:21): Yeah, I think the way I approach it now, it's like comical the stuff that I come across in the, I'm a that is now open to me with the openmindedness I have cause it's like, so in the past, always looking at like, what's in it for me, or approaching people with a selfish interest in that aspect was always like you're only gonna find what you're looking for in that sense. And you as soon as you don't find what you're looking for, that person or that thing is useless as opposed to having the open mindedness of like and I've been one of my, one of the big things, and this is funny, I've watched a ton of sports in sports center and things like that and coming across seeing things like RG three when he was with the Redskins, new like the whole security staff, the Mar Jackson's trying to remember everyone's name in his building.
Earl Edwards (30:12): So I kind of approached this year like I think that's something I can learn from and try to do as well. So I tried to learn all the interns names, all the assistant equipment managers, names and building relationships with them. It's like I had no I had, I had no interest in like gaining something from it other than like, let me genuinely care about people that I wouldn't have cared about in the past. Cause I think a lot in our locker rooms, people come across these people and don't know their names for an entire year. And the other guys like putting stuff in your locker and it's very common. So to learn their names and to build those relationships and learn their backgrounds. How many siblings they have, where they're from, all that type of stuff just to build a relationship. Like randomly I'll find them like, Oh, I do this and that.
Earl Edwards (31:02): And I'm like, Oh, that kind of relates to what we're doing here at perfect soccer. Like can we talk sometime or set up a meeting? And that's happened with trial, this we've had here. And just random people where it like does become a business thing and it's not what I was going into it for. And it's still not what I'm going into it for. But I find little things that like builds a relationship or connection and it turns into something, even though that wasn't my intention and it's happening more so now that I have that approach as opposed to what I was seeking out something that I wanted and it's like, Oh, he doesn't have it next. Oh, he doesn't have next. And just dismissing people or not even approaching people at all thinking that they didn't have the ability to provide me anything.
Earl Edwards (31:41): And so now that I'm just building genuine, caring relationships with people, whether it's at the CES conference in Vegas, the coaches convention in Baltimore, or if you're within our team and our staff as I'm building these genuine relationships with people, it's like, Oh, like we can relate on that aspect where if you're next here or they do connect me to somebody that can be beneficial to me. But it's all a byproduct of just building genuine relationships. And more so in it for me is like, I sometimes I can see these guys and I can see someone like ask them for something and I know they don't know their name. And I'm like, dude, I don't know. It's more rewarding to me or not even rewarding to me, but fulfilling to me to know that me and this person, like he knows I care, I care about him. And I've asked him about his family and where he's from and what he's doing here. What are you studying in school? And that is more fulfilling and interesting me that any byproduct that comes from it just from, I don't know, it's like be a good person and that's what it truly comes down to. And being more genuine is something that I'm still working on and seeking help and I found myself, it's like there's more gratitude in doing that and seeking things out from selfish interests.
Quincy Amarikwa (32:58): Got you. No I mean that's very insightful and I think a lot of people who are listening to this are going to get a lot, lot of value out of just you sharing your perspective. I think the fact that you're, you know, so open to open and sharing the mistakes you know, you've made and, and reflecting on who you are now and acknowledging who you are then, but also the fact that you, you can be who you were, right? Like it's a matter of like reverting back to old habits or
Earl Edwards (33:28): Oh yeah, 100%. It's a work in progress for sure. And it's like conscious decisions of what, I mean, I've walked by guys or I have approached an equipment guy. First thing I'm like, yo, I don't have my sliders. Can you give me some stuff? And then I'm like, hang on a second and I'll literally pause and be like, Mark, sorry. Good morning. Like how are you? And I'll catch myself like, yo, he's a, this is a person. But so often in our world, like you just dismiss them and they're used to it and it's like the norm. But to seek out trying to build genuine connections with people I have in the past. It's definitely a work in progress and I forget to do it sometimes. And even like thinking about that out loud is when you forget to treat someone like a person.
Earl Edwards (34:10): But yeah, like, and I'm sure if there are other pro-athletes on here, like if you really think about it, you probably approached her assistant trainers or interns and you might not even know their names or you just ask for something all the time and you don't even have a conversation with them. And again, I'm not saying I'm perfect and I do it right every day. There's days I literally forget and I'm like, man, that was messed up and I tried to do better next time. Like it's a work in progress. I understand that. But the intention and the the consciousness of trying to build that is what I found myself embracing and developing as I go.
Quincy Amarikwa (34:50): Awesome. @futbolfreestylz set growth level 1000.
Earl Edwards (34:55): Yeah, we had a good conversation on the last live actually. I mean, it's @futbolfreestylz.
Quincy Amarikwa (34:58): Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I, I, I know last week you had jumped in the comment section and a lot of people were asking questions, which is I'm loving that the community has been awesome. I'm loving seeing everybody's participation. Especially,
Earl Edwards (35:15): can I answer @futbolfreestylzyles question right?
Quincy Amarikwa (35:18): Yes, yes, yes. You see it. Okay.
Earl Edwards (35:19): How much energy do you feel you spend being more open? Which is so interesting. And I know, you know why I want to answer this question. I used to say to Quincy and Quincy would be having the conversations in depth about my mentality. How I'm selfish how I can be better in one aspect or another. Talking investments, all kinds of things. We'd be mid conversation. You would stop to say goodbye to the assistant intern that's working with us for three months and I look over my shoulder, I'm like, one, like we're talking like I feel disrespected. It's like, so stuff like, this is literally the thought process. I'm like, one, I feel disrespectful. We were in the conversation, you're going to take time out for like the assistant intern. Like, dude, what are we doing here? And then on top of that, it would be like, I would say out loud to you, like, dude, how do you have so much energy to give all these people your time of day?
Earl Edwards (36:14): Now I'm at the point, and I've said this to many people, it is more exhausting to consciously think about the people that you're trying to ignore. It's way more exhausting to come into a room and consciously be like an assistant or not asking her about her day assistant equipment guy like don't care where he's from or what he's doing. He's going to get me sliders later. I'm this person. No, no, no. Like to consciously think about the people you're going to write off and dismiss and not treat like a genuine caring person. That I find when I, when I go to do that, cause I would still refer back to my old self sometimes. Like that is more exhausting to me and it takes up more energy mentally for me I suppose to walking in a room and being like, Hey, good morning.
Earl Edwards (36:59): How are you doing? I found myself doing it to strangers in the hallway on the way to the elevator. Like constantly, it doesn't matter who it is, it's way more it's way less energy spent to just say, good morning. Hello. How are you to anybody than it is to be like this is the maid for the hotel. I'm not, not like that takes more time and energy. You just say hello, go get in good morning. And you might feel like now like, Oh, that seems daunting. I used to look at Quincy and the amount of people he would give his time to. I'm like, dude, that seems exhausting, but it's, I'm telling you once you do it for like two or three days and then when you feel yourself revert back to your old self, you'll, you feel like a crappy person. But I feel it's, it takes way more energy and to be that selfish, close minded person of like, I'm literally not talking to this person because of their status position or what they look like or what they said one time. Yeah, it takes less energy than you'd think, and less energy that it does to, to be the selfish person person that I was.
Quincy Amarikwa (38:02): No, I, I liked that. I have a question that's following up with that, but @PGsports, Paul asked are goalkeepers smarter than field players.
Quincy Amarikwa (38:17): Are goalkeeper smarter than the field players.
Earl Edwards (38:21): I think, I mean, it's tough to say, you know, cause there's geniuses on the field, like you can't teach. Like there's, there's brains like a Zedon and Messi and these guys that it's like their soccer IQ is, is through the roof. And there's definitely Certain keepers that have a high IQ use our intelligence. I don't, I wouldn't say one's greater than the other, but like, I mean let's get, I'm not okay.
Quincy Amarikwa(38:46): I'm not, I'm not going to let you have an out, so I'm going to refine that down. On average, do you believe the goalkeeper's IQ is which.
Earl Edwards (38:55): I got an answer. I got an answer. Okay. I would say goalkeepers are smarter. Yes. And because in general, I think that's the case. Almost teams, they're the weird guy.
Quincy Amarikwa (39:10): Yep. I would agree with that. I'd say, I'd say the goalkeeper position requires that you, one, you're in your own head most of the time because you typically trained separate from the team and then a lot of your job is preventing bad things from happening. So if you're doing a really good job as a goalkeeper, you don't have to do anything.
Quincy Amarikwa (39:33): What can be very difficult for people who just want, I'd say the, a better analogy for that would be a grapplers and ground ground ground and pound. Oh no, but not my ground and pound, cause people want to see ground and pound. But just straight up when I am I Brazilian jujitsu, so, and UFC people who tend to go to the ground and now they're just, they're jockeying for position and everyone's just like boring. This doesnt mean thing. But someone who understands the nuance of it and the, the game that's being played, it's just a, it's a different appreciation for the game and a different level of IQ to fully appreciate appreciate that. And maybe for baseball players who would be I'm not a huge baseball fan, so I want to see the guy smacking home runs every single time.
Quincy Amarikwa (40:20): Right. But if you said it was a good pitching day, you just watch some dude play catch with somebody for like four hours. So like depends on how you're watching it, you know. Okay. So one thing that you had said that I, that I I find interesting is, you know, the idea of you don't know what you don't know, right. And you've made the, you made the, your, you've made the point of saying like, I was selfish and I understand how I was selfish and why I was selfish and now I can recognize that in the moment. And that allows me to kind of, to level up. Right. But before you're able to self reflect on your selfishness, do you even believe yourself to be selfish at that time?
Earl Edwards (41:09): No.
Quincy Amarikwa (41:10): So how, how do you make, how does that jump happen and, and what is, what prevents you from being able to see how you're selfish? At that time,
Earl Edwards (41:25): see, this was hard cause I had a, I had a cheat with you literally being next to me in the locker room. Okay. During the locker room.
Earl Edwards (41:34): I don't think I'd be at the level I'm at, given the time we've put in like a, then over the course of six, seven months, I would not be where I'm at in six, seven months if I didn't have you in the locker next to me telling me like, Hey, that was a selfish thing to say or earlier, getting overly emotional about something. And you're exposing yourself here, stop. And those constant and I mean constant reminders on a daily basis that exposed to me where I could improve and to have that mentorship directly, which is funny enough, I'm, this was not an intention to promote, but what we're trying to build here with the company and provide people that constant mentorship and face to face and one on one mentorship, you can't, I can't put a value on it.
Earl Edwards (42:25): Like I told, I didn't, I'm not steer your own horn here on this, on the show, but like I've told many people you've changed my life. And to have that mentorship on an everyday basis grinded into me to self reflect. Like, look, that's selfish. And maybe even at the time I'm like, no, it's not how is, and literally we would sit there for two, three hours to the point of my wife would get frustrated with me for coming home late from training. Like, but I knew in the long run it was an investment in myself that would be better for myself, my family my wife, my daughter, everybody. If I took the time to reflect on how I can be a selfish person and how I can learn to grow from it. So I mean yeah, I had you as a constant reminder and now I'm able to do it.
Quincy Amarikwa (43:08): But the first six, seven months of it was literally you're in my ear like every day or if you're not your collect, you collect like three days of data and hit me at once. And I'm like, Oh my God, dude. Like what the, this is a lot of information, let me process this. But like the constant mentorship on a daily or weekly basis and the commitment and dedication from my end to want to take that information and then build and grow from it I think is, is what paid off over time to the point where now I can self reflect for, and there's other times where I'm like, I don't feel right about what happened. I can't put my finger on it and I'll call you. And I'll be like, dude, I had this conversation with ADOI about X, Y, and Z. And like, I felt this way and your, and you can pinpoint based on the relationship, we build over six, seven years, like you reacted like this, didn't you?
Earl Edwards (44:00): And I'm like, man, screw you for even like not being there and knowing how I reacted. But that's the level of observation and relationship we built that you know exactly how I would revert to my old self and respond immediately and emotionally and ex expose myself and a teammate and a brother and mind because I didn't take a second to self reflect or better approach the situation. But again, I built it over six, seven years. I continue to have you as a mentor. I know we've shipped up, shifted our, and I'm more a self-sustainable, accountable aware at this point. And self honest. But there's still those times where I'm like, Oh, quince, I know something's up here, but I'm not exactly sure how I could have approached it better. And to be able to have that feedback still is you can't put a value on it.
Quincy Amarikwa (44:51): Oh no, I appreciate that. I mean it's, I mean, it's awesome. I mean, it's awesome for me to hear it. Like, thank you, I appreciate that. You know what I mean? Like I think what's difficult, it's the reason why it's awesome for me to hear is because I only have my perspective, right? So I can only, I'm only going like, Hey Earl, this is why I think this, this is why I think that, right? So I can understand better now how that can be exhausting to other people. And when we were talking about it too you, I said, well, a big reason, and I can really understand this now finished completing my 11th year, the, the league, something I couldn't understand for a very long time was, you know, most people say, Oh, you're a journeyman because you're difficult in a locker room. And you know what I mean?
Quincy Amarikwa (45:34): you're , you're cancer, your problem or whatever. Cause people have to rationalize why you get moved around a lot. Right? But it's, it's, I'm a constant reminder to people, every single day of your bullshit. Here we go, I better understand that now. And I go, well, I see why most people don't want that. Unless they, they actually want to be better and they want to improve. They're not just saying it. So the reason why I'm saying that is cause I'm asking what at the time, at that time, you're not, you're selfish. You don't know that you're selfish. Right. So what is it that actually motivates you to want to yeah. Why, what makes, you know what I mean? To stick through it and to get out the other side.
Earl Edwards (46:24): That's a good question. Yeah, I think, I think I, there's a couple things and actually you won't be surprised by one of them, but I think one of the very first things we ever got into together or I really expressed interest in with you was investments. So I think money was a driving factor initially. And then aside from that I think when you're expressing to me like, Hey, that's a selfish mentality and I can't even understand how it's selfish. I'm blaming who it was. Sietz was our was our commissioner for the fantasy football league. And I feel he could have done the job a certain way and I'm just berating him in the locker room. at how poor, of a job he did of handling our traits. And you're like, well, what did you do about it? Like did you handle the traits?
Earl Edwards (47:25): Did you volunteer to be commissioner? Did you come to him with suggestions on how we should have handled it? And I'm like, well, no, but he, you know what I mean? And it's like, I want to have an excuse for, I just want to blame him, blame him, blame him. But I didn't offer to do the job or so like what right do I have to berate him for doing a job I wasn't willing to do in the first place. But little things like that, and that's typically like, funny enough, like sports is what I get really emotional about. I think I know a lot about sports. I watched a lot of sports, basketball and football mostly. And me and Adoi the other day, I'm getting an argument on the way to training with the Seitz and EMA about how the Niners aren't where they're at anymore because they lost one of their three running backs.
Earl Edwards (48:09): And I'm talking Adoi and I'm like, dude, that took so much energy and I wanted to prove so badly that I was right. But you had these moments and you would see me have these moments and you're like, dude, like why? Like I can get so emotionally invested in blaming people are calling people dumb or thinking they're dumb for thinking differently than I do or not agreeing with me. But a lot of just selfish mindset and aspects and approaches. Again, that were constant reminders throughout a season where I'm like, I do feel like I burned bridges or not talk to someone for a week over an argument of like literally like, I think Kobi is better than like me and Kevin Austin every day in Orlando. The guys are like, you guys should get a show. Cause we would spend like 45 minutes before training every day for weeks on end, like arguing about like Kobi and LeBron or whatever it was.
Earl Edwards (49:02): And guys are like, dude, you guys should just get a show. Like you guys just sit here and bicker all the time. But it took so much energy, it wasn't important at the time. Not that it wasn't fun sometimes, but like literally I would be like emotionally invested to the point. Like I wouldn't talk to Kevin for like two days or whatever it was and it was just stupid. And to have it, to have someone be like, this is what you look like and this is what you're doing. Like every time I did that I was like, wow, that does seem detrimental and a waste of energy and like to be provided. Maybe another way to approach it. Like you're giving me other ways to approach it or just to avoid it entirely or sit back and just listen sometimes. And again, to have those reminders on a daily basis and to look in that mirror and have someone help you understand like, yo, that might not be in your best interest.
Earl Edwards (49:52): And so it was a level of dedication on my end, but then to see like I had those feelings in the past but didn't know how to correct it or didn't want to correct it or whatever it was. So again, going back to like the mentorship and on a daily basis exposing myself, cause it was almost daily, I wouldn't expose myself or do something. I'm like, dude, what? And I'm like, Oh, that's how I should handle that or that's how I could do that better. And that grind over six, seven months was like I, when I tell people I'm a different person today, that I was coming out of that a month ago, like, I mean that through me through, I've told people that to their face my wife and I have a better relationship than we've ever had. Like it's changed my life to constantly have that reflection and self honesty to the point where now I can do it on my own. And I'm not, again, I'm not perfect and it's a work in progress every day. But to continue to have that mentorship that we're also trying to provide people is again and valuable.
Quincy Amarikwa (50:50): No, dude, that's, that's awesome. You know, me, I could end up talking about all that stuff all day. So, so, so let's we've got about eight minutes here before Instagram takes us off. You've already given me plenty of ideas on stuff that I think we need to approach with here. Just moving forward.
Earl Edwards (51:07): I got whole documents.
Quincy Amarikwa (51:10): Okay. So for those of you who, you know, hopefully and have enjoyed the, this episode so far, Earl has joined the perfect soccer team and has been helping me and us our whole group to kind of build out a couple of divisions, our mentorship side our agency side in representing the in representing players. Like there's a lot of dope stuff coming here moving forward. And if you want to stay up to date on what's going on, make sure you become a perfect soccer team member. It is now 100000% free to do you get access to all of our books, all of our trainings, all of our accountability stuff. I know Earl was, is, I don't know if you're still actively using the time management document every day.
Earl Edwards (51:50): Every day. Yeah.
Quincy Amarikwa (51:52): Oh well, okay. This is cool. I'm so glad you said that because.
Earl Edwards (52:00): it's like before I used to do it, Cause I thought you'd be looking at it now. I like, I literally, my wife's like, you're still doing that. I'm like, yeah, it keeps me accountable. So I do it every day.
Quincy Amarikwa (52:10): I, I love that because yes, in the beginning I am looking at it every day. Right. But the purpose and reason for it is so that you, you eventually hold yourself accountable. So what I'm talking about is a T at the time management document and process that I, that I had built and put together. So that players and individuals can literally people, so this is independent to like soccer players are not parents. Everybody people have a very, they, they can understand the concept of not being good at budgeting their money, but they have no idea about their inability to budget their time, which is way more valuable than money. And most people don't even understand how, what are you talking about? Will you exchange your time for money? And the more productive you get with every hour time you have, the more money you can make.
Quincy Amarikwa (52:54): So the time is the more valuable asset. So most people don't, I thought it was a money problem, which is why I built a leverageinvestmentgroup.com. And that's the the financial literacy course that you'd went through that I'd kind of put together and that's where we'd started. Right. And I'd realize people were still having issues with self-accountability and that's when I realized it was really a time. Yeah. Would it be like a time illiteracy problem?
Earl Edwards (53:18): Did you come to that conclusion like after I went through the financial literacy day?
Quincy Amarikwa (53:23): Well, no, I think it was in combination with all of that. So at those times when you're going through all of those things and I'm going like, I need to have something, I need to develop something else that keeps track of people's time the same way that they need to know how to keep track of their money. Cause at the end of the day the time's more important than the money. And then you're also saying like, okay,
Quincy Amarikwa (53:45): It takes time to learn how to do that and I don't know how much time it takes for people to do that and they have to be motivated to do it. There's so many factors that go into it that the way that I figured out to make it work was, Hey, if someone values my time and they want my time, I'm willing to invest my time in them. But they have to invest enough time in themselves. So you have to fill out your time management document. If you do that, you get an hour of my time. You know you do that for two weeks, you get an hour of my time.
Earl Edwards(54:09): It kind of proves to you that, there's a dedication. I respect that. It's still part of the process. Even when I signed up for the perfect soccer team, it's in my initial document. You have to fill this out to continue to be a part of this.
Quincy Amarikwa (54:22): Correct. Thank God I'm already doing this cause I can, it's a daunting task for people that reflect on what point deeper four hours a day and writing that in your time sheet and looking back, let go. God that doesn't look, he's not looking at this. Yeah. Yeah.
Quincy Amarikwa (54:35): You're like, I don't even want to look at this. I hope he's going to come when I'm going to come tomorrow and tell him like, Oh, I didn't have time yesterday. I'm gonna be like, okay, but you had time to play fifa for four and a half hours. Okay. But Oh, so that document, the training that goes along with it, why it's important valuable is that perfectsoccerskills.com/pstm that is perfect soccer team member, P. S T M M. All of our books, all of our tools, resources are free. And the training is free for you to use. And to actively be able to adopt and develop this mindset over time cause it takes time, commitment and investment on your part. Right. not everyone can have one on one daily mentorship and like we were talking about, Hey this mindset and process and the way in which we're navigating and implementing these things. You don't have to have the direct one on one mentorship, which is why we create, I've created these processes and systems so people can can do it on their own time, in their own time. But in the training I say this, this, if you do this, this will become the most valuable asset that you have.
Quincy Amarikwa (55:42): Cause it only becomes more valuable over time. Would you agree with that statement in any capacity? If so, why? Why not? Like where does it, where does the time management sheet, cause you're saying you still do it and that's your daily.
Earl Edwards (55:58): I think that's like my base. That's like a, all the other stuff without doing that, I feel not that the day is lost, but I feel like that's my starting point. I wake up, I'm like, okay, for these next 30 minutes, this is what I'm doing with this one I'm doing after that. So there's already an accountability and a plan and a like a forward thinking on what I'm doing with the day or I'm reflecting after the fact if I'm at training for three, four hours on what I did for the three, four hours. So it's like a forced either reflection or forward thinking of like what you're doing and to not have that.
Earl Edwards (56:33): I mean, and it's happened here cause I'm tired. I'll come back to the room after training and we'll have lunch. I'll come back up like we've moved, we've been watching NBA games a lot tonight. And then I go to do my time sheet for, I go to bed, I'm like, Oh crap. From nine to 1130, I just watched the NBA. And other times I, and I'm not saying that it's a horrible thing. Sometimes I'm like, I can pick up on different stories or whatever it is and I can actually learn or just admiring that level of athleticism and visually see a killer instinct on the court and things like I'm still trying to learn and pick things up. Most of the time I'm just enjoying it. I'm not going to lie, but to reflect back on like, Oh dang, three hours of NBA like and sometimes I'm like, I'll do better tomorrow.
Earl Edwards (57:16): Like again, it's an ongoing process and I don't why on my time sheet because at that point you're just lying to yourself.
Earl Edwards (57:23): Correct? No, I like, I don't want to cut completely cut you off, but I don't know. Two minutes before cut us off. We'll have to, we'll definitely have another episode where we're going to reconnect and do stuff more. What I want to definitely part two, part three part, you know, one hundred. What I want to encourage everybody to be aware of is, well one, I wanted to point to the fact where you're saying, Hey, you and Kevin Austin arguing every day. Yeah, it would be a great investment of your time if you guys made a show out of it. If you made a show that it would have benefited you in the longterm. So I talked a lot about find ways to make money doing what you're already doing.
Quincy Amarikwa (58:02): If you're playing video games find a way to make money playing video games, Richie, let me have listen. Make sure you join in and check out the replay.
Earl Edwards (58:10): it stated at 9:15 Rich, I'll put it on my Instagram. You're just late my friend. Yes.
Quincy Amarikwa(58:16): But you got the replay for the next 24 hours and we've got a minute here.
Earl Edwards (58:20): 45 minutes. You could watch it Rich. It's going to be good.
Quincy Amarikwa(58:23): It'll, it'll, it'll change your life. Yeah. So what was, I wanted to make sure that I was saying. Oh, okay. I know you're a, you're a sports buff and Instagram's probably gonna kick me off in the middle of us talking about this. We definitely need to set up your own kind of podcast or show where you can riff and do that. And talk more about that.
Earl Edwards(58:46): It'd be cool. Unfortunately, football season just ended. But NBA's picking up and I know the people would love that.
Quincy Amarikwa (58:51): So those of you who are listening to this and following the replay, make sure you follow Earl on Instagram, on Twitter, all of his social channels. Be on the lookout for what he's got going on. His, DBAB mentality. Don't be a baby, a brand he has launched, he's building that out. We're going to be doing a lot more collaborative stuff here moving forward. You see the DBAB design and gloves over there. Make sure you guys become a perfect soccer team member. Again, it's free. You'll join the newsletter, you'll get the weekly, you'll be able to
Quincy Amarikwa (59:22): Read and watch all of our previous stuff and you'll see all the things that are coming out here in the coming weeks and months. Earl, I want to thank you very much for joining in on the live. I know the, I know the community is going to get a whole lot out of it and they're going to love all the stuff that we've got cooking up and that you're going to be participating here with moving forward.
